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TOPIC: Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room

 
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January 24, 2013 6:30 AM
Maybe OP was worried she might point and say "that's like daddy's... only smaller"
  34671583
January 24, 2013 6:59 AM
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you're totally justified! i'd call the cops. endangerment of a child and all that.


Are you kidding me? The cops have important things to deal with. Not about a little girl who is in no way endangered being taken care of by her dad. Please don't waste important resources like this.

This is not what the police are for. If the OP was uncomfortable with the little girl seeing him naked, he should have brought it up with management of the gym.


do you even have kids? the guy is endangering his daughter. the police are supposed to protect and serve, protect the girl by throwing the dad in jail.


Um.....the father brought his kid into a locker room. He didn't push her into a den of hungry lions! Would you rather he have left her outside by herself?!

This is getting blown WAY out of proportion!
  30690295
January 24, 2013 7:01 AM
Yes, you are insane. Or more likely just a "nimrod". There is nothing wrong or strange about a parent bringing their four year old child of the opposite gender into the dressing rooms, showers, restrooms, etc. providing the parent remains there with the child. If this guy had brought his young daughter into the change room and left her sitting in there while he went out for a coffee, that would indeed be creepy and horrible, and definitely grounds for a quick call to the cops.

If there are family changing rooms, I think it's considerate and best if those are used by families. If your gym does indeed have those rooms, I think you should have gone to the manager and spoken to him or her about the issue rather than confronting the dad when he's got his daughter with him. It's totally inappropriate and weird of you (or anyone else) to behave that way, especially in front of a young child, and I don't blame the dads in this thread who have ummm... strongly cautioned others against doing this to them when they're out with their kids.

Naked men and women aren't automatically sexual, predatory, or pedophiles due to their lack of clothing! This bizarre hysteria surrounding nudity and particularly the nude male body has got to stop. I'm embarrassed for all you weirdos, seriously.
  28550113
January 24, 2013 7:04 AM
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Ammon......NO! A good father will use the FAMILY LOCKER ROOM!


Judgemental much?? Yes it made you uncomfortable, but i don't think you can say he is not a good father because he made a decision that made you uncomfortable and you don't agree with. Yes, he probably should have used the family locker rooms, but to react and freak out on him and then to insinuate he is not a good father....seems a little harsh.
  9771427
January 24, 2013 7:05 AM
That's just wrong! I take my 10 & 12 year old sons in the locker room and still feel uncomfortable about it. No one wants to see some 50+ year old fat guy walking around naked. We have one guy who walks around, pees, shaves and whatever..all while 100% buck naked!
January 24, 2013 7:12 AM
Wow, I'm surprised so many find it innappropriate. I don't see the issue really, I mean they're just young children, few people would think twice about a 4 year old boy going into the ladies room (which I have seen so many times I couldn't count)

I used to go swimming with my dad and our local pool allowed boys in the girls changing rooms, and vice versa until 8 years old. I used to go with him until I was about that age.

There were no specific family rooms. I know that there was a family/group changing room as part of the ladies (you had to go through the ladies to get to it) but I'm not sure about in the mens. Although, there were individual changing cubicles and I used to go in there always, regardless of which changing room I was in, so I don't recall ever seeing any grown men's bits dangling about all over the place.
  1283483
January 24, 2013 7:14 AM
I'm with the crew that doesn't understand the big deal. It's a 4y/o ffs. I don't understand what kind of harm that could do to anyone (kid or other people in the room).

I agree that if there are family rooms, those should obviously have been used, but maybe he didn't know about them.
January 24, 2013 7:15 AM
If he's not willing to use the Family locker room, then perhaps he should get a sitter or NOT workout that day.
  27445807
January 24, 2013 7:16 AM
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i agree a young girl should not be in a room full of naked men..anything could happen


Really?!?? What would happen to her with her father RIGHT THERE!! I doubt he is going to let her leave his side.
  9771427
January 24, 2013 7:17 AM
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My dad used to take me into the men's locker room at the YMCA when I took swimming lessons. The story goes that I noticed a man with a long ponytail (it was the '70s) and said loudly "Daddy!! I never saw a girl with a penis before!!!"

At the Fitness Center where I work, children under 5 must be with their parent in the adult locker room, children over 5 must go to the children's locker rooms. Except for children with special needs.

I don't understand the problem really. Is it better to leave a little girl alone in the women's locker room and expect her to manage on her own and to trust that nobody shady is in there with her while she's uncared for? She's four. She can not go into a public locker room alone. She is much much safer being with her father where he can keep her safe and keep her with him.


This ^^^^ . I have a six year old daughter and if she's at the Y with her dad, they try to use the family locker rooms, but they are often occupied by self conscious singles who prefer to drop a deuce in private. Pisses me the hell off. But at any rate, I'm by no means a nudist, but I also don't view nudity as a bad thing. She has a little brother. She knows what he's got. She knows what I've got. My husband tries to park her facing the lockers and does the best he can to shield her from penises in her face, but if she sees one, I'm not gonna freak. How is it any different than seeing the naked old women walking around the women's locker room? I'd rather have her with him and know she's safe.
January 24, 2013 7:17 AM
QUOTE:

Yes, you are insane. Or more likely just a "nimrod". There is nothing wrong or strange about a parent bringing their four year old child of the opposite gender into the dressing rooms, showers, restrooms, etc. providing the parent remains there with the child. If this guy had brought his young daughter into the change room and left her sitting in there while he went out for a coffee, that would indeed be creepy and horrible, and definitely grounds for a quick call to the cops.

If there are family changing rooms, I think it's considerate and best if those are used by families. If your gym does indeed have those rooms, I think you should have gone to the manager and spoken to him or her about the issue rather than confronting the dad when he's got his daughter with him. It's totally inappropriate and weird of you (or anyone else) to behave that way, especially in front of a young child, and I don't blame the dads in this thread who have ummm... strongly cautioned others against doing this to them when they're out with their kids.

Naked men and women aren't automatically sexual, predatory, or pedophiles due to their lack of clothing! This bizarre hysteria surrounding nudity and particularly the nude male body has got to stop. I'm embarrassed for all you weirdos, seriously.


Well said!
  1283483
January 24, 2013 7:42 AM
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Really? This nimrod brings his 4 year old daughter into the men's locker room at the gym. I saw him do it a few weeks ago but couldn't catch him (I was too busy diving for a towel). What would you do? I lost it and confronted him. Probably didn't handle it too well. There's naked men walking around without towels. Am I insane or was this guy completely clueless?


This is very much about culture. I'd not react if this happened to such a young child around here. Nudity is not a taboo, and kids have seen naked men before. I don't think it's a problem if boys that age go with their mothers either.

I do however understand that it's more of a taboo for you. But consider that the father may not have the same background as you, and to him, you are the person with the problematic worldview. You see a little girl in a locker room, and you think about abuse and inappropriate exposure. He sees a little girl in a locker room, and he sees a child too young for anybody to harm, accompanying her loving father. In some parts of the world, his is the sane and sensible approach.

It might at least be worth considering before you get in his face. A polite discussion about what is culturally acceptable might be better.


I agree, here in Sweden it would be a non issue, actually a fairly common place event...Perhaps many European countries are just more comfortable with nudity in a non sexual way..I can't believe the overreaction I'm seeing here,
January 24, 2013 8:02 AM
I agree, completely inappropriate. I also have seen women bring their sons into the women's changing area. Don't go to the gym if you can't get someone to watch your child. Where will the child go while you are working out? Really stupid!
January 24, 2013 8:03 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Really? This nimrod brings his 4 year old daughter into the men's locker room at the gym. I saw him do it a few weeks ago but couldn't catch him (I was too busy diving for a towel). What would you do? I lost it and confronted him. Probably didn't handle it too well. There's naked men walking around without towels. Am I insane or was this guy completely clueless?


This is very much about culture. I'd not react if this happened to such a young child around here. Nudity is not a taboo, and kids have seen naked men before. I don't think it's a problem if boys that age go with their mothers either.

I do however understand that it's more of a taboo for you. But consider that the father may not have the same background as you, and to him, you are the person with the problematic worldview. You see a little girl in a locker room, and you think about abuse and inappropriate exposure. He sees a little girl in a locker room, and he sees a child too young for anybody to harm, accompanying her loving father. In some parts of the world, his is the sane and sensible approach.

It might at least be worth considering before you get in his face. A polite discussion about what is culturally acceptable might be better.


I agree, here in Sweden it would be a non issue, actually a fairly common place event...Perhaps many European countries are just more comfortable with nudity in a non sexual way..I can't believe the overreaction I'm seeing here,


this 100x
In my gym children under 8 are allowed to change with parents, no family cubicles, and lots of bits hanging everywhere
I don't think kids really care about the bits until certain age
January 24, 2013 8:07 AM
I think everyone is over-reacting. She's 4 and seeing a penis at 4 really isn't that big of a deal... unless YOU make it a big deal. To a 4 year old child it's just part of your body and it's certainly nothing sexual or inappropriate.
January 24, 2013 8:12 AM
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We have multiple family locker rooms. "What's wrong with you? This is a mens locker room and it's no place for a little girl!", I said. The morons reply? "Well she's four years old". . . . . Huh?


WTG!
January 24, 2013 8:13 AM
QUOTE:

I agree, completely inappropriate. I also have seen women bring their sons into the women's changing area. Don't go to the gym if you can't get someone to watch your child. Where will the child go while you are working out? Really stupid!


Maybe they were going swimming together or something?

FFS! I think we should end this thread!
  34671583
January 24, 2013 8:21 AM
I'm still laughing at the image of a bunch of grown men scrambling for towels and standing on their tippy toes on a stool shrieking, "EEEEK!!!! A LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!"
  33156682
January 24, 2013 8:54 AM
QUOTE:

I agree, completely inappropriate. I also have seen women bring their sons into the women's changing area. Don't go to the gym if you can't get someone to watch your child. Where will the child go while you are working out? Really stupid!


our Y has childcare available while we workout. we also frequently, after our workouts, take the kids to swim in the pool. i am an american, yet i cannot believe how we will tolerate violence, etc. on television, but see a naked ass and OMG, the world is gonna end. jesus. it's not as though there are sexual acts going on in locker rooms - and if there are - THOSE are the things that need to be reported. not a little girl changing with her dad.
January 24, 2013 9:01 AM
I'm going to the gym with my mom this Saturday, I hope she takes into the wimmenz locker room.
  11265904
January 24, 2013 9:12 AM
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I'm still laughing at the image of a bunch of grown men scrambling for towels and standing on their tippy toes on a stool shrieking, "EEEEK!!!! A LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!"


Yeah, that's a whole lot funnier than thinking about them NOT covering up and wandering around with their junk hanging out like it normally is in the men's locker. If there's a family locker room it should have been used. It might be "no big deal" to some, but to others it may be a huge deal. Oh, and by the way there are real freaking pervs out there that would love to wag their weiner for a 4 year old.
January 24, 2013 10:16 AM
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I wouldn't think twice if someone brought a 4 yr old boy into the women's locker room. I don't really see the big deal either. If there were family locker rooms available though then he's just an idiot.

Same here. My son is 4 and he always comes with me into women's restrooms and such.

Dad is with her and not sending her in alone, so it's not like she isn't safe and it's not like she is the one who is naked in front of a bunch of men.

The world would be a much better place if people didn't teach their kids that a naked human body is wrong or dirty. It's nature.
  4001156
January 24, 2013 10:19 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

i agree a young girl should not be in a room full of naked men..anything could happen


Really?!?? What would happen to her with her father RIGHT THERE!! I doubt he is going to let her leave his side.


No kidding, statistically, she would be more in danger in a changing room with family. As sexual predators are usually family or friends.

Just one more post that prove how stupid and brainwashed society has made people.
  4001156
January 24, 2013 11:09 AM
QUOTE:

For me, this discussion just reinforces the need in public areas to have clear and consistent guidelines that are enforced. Some people have legitimate differences of opinion and some don't have an ounce of common sense or common courtesy.

We have very nice family changing rooms, so we keep the rules simple: in the men's or women's locker rooms, all the parts have to match, otherwise use the family rooms. Yeah, sometimes you might to wait 5 minutest. TS.

As a group, people are not that rational, especially when it comes to their kids. I guarantee that I'd we let 2 yr olds of mixed gender in the locker rooms, in no time at all, some helicopter parent would be bringing in teenagers

It's the norm here, and I've never seen that happen.

I am not traumatised from remembering the mens changing room, i am just glad i got to go swimming instead of having to stay home because my mum can't swim. I'm sure i would have been traumatised at least for a while about a man coming up to my dad and shouting at him about me (although if it happened i think now i could probably look back and see he was just a dumbass).

I still new it was not ok for people to touch me, and that's it's not right for someone to jump out a bush waggling their penis at me.

I have also seen the nude form in non sexual artwork *gasp*

Seriously what do you want to do in the changing room that you can't do with a kid there, make a porno?! I am not all that exposed in the changing rooms myself anyway.
January 24, 2013 11:19 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

For me, this discussion just reinforces the need in public areas to have clear and consistent guidelines that are enforced. Some people have legitimate differences of opinion and some don't have an ounce of common sense or common courtesy.

We have very nice family changing rooms, so we keep the rules simple: in the men's or women's locker rooms, all the parts have to match, otherwise use the family rooms. Yeah, sometimes you might to wait 5 minutest. TS.

As a group, people are not that rational, especially when it comes to their kids. I guarantee that I'd we let 2 yr olds of mixed gender in the locker rooms, in no time at all, some helicopter parent would be bringing in teenagers

It's the norm here, and I've never seen that happen.

I am not traumatised from remembering the mens changing room, i am just glad i got to go swimming instead of having to stay home because my mum can't swim. I'm sure i would have been traumatised at least for a while about a man coming up to my dad and shouting at him about me (although if it happened i think now i could probably look back and see he was just a dumbass).

I still new it was not ok for people to touch me, and that's it's not right for someone to jump out a bush waggling their penis at me.

I have also seen the nude form in non sexual artwork *gasp*

Seriously what do you want to do in the changing room that you can't do with a kid there, make a porno?! I am not all that exposed in the changing rooms myself anyway.


You are missing my point. I am not advocating a position one way or the other. I work in these situations every day, so it is not a hypothetical. My opinion on whether or not it is appropriate is irrelevant. But, when you have 3,000 people sharing space, you have to try to make everyone feel comfortable. It's not my job to change society's attitudes towards public nudity.

Some people are selfish jerks and a lot of people are morons. I don't have the time or interest to sort them all out. Which leads to my original point, which is that, whatever the position of the establishment, you need to have policies that are clearly communicated and consistently enforced. And, in a large group situation, especially a situation in which people have voluntarily joined and agreed to abide by the policies and procedures, you don't get to pick and choose which rules you want to follow.

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