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TOPIC: rough day, in need of positivity!

 
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January 21, 2013 4:01 AM
Hi all

So I'm not good at the whole putting myself out there to ask for help thing. I was the one who took care of my family from when I was a pretty young kid, and tend to do that in relationships still, though I'm working on stepping back to let people be responsible for themselves.

So when I have a rough day, I can feel pretty low because I don't really have a network of people to support me during these times. And I take responsibility for that, because I engage people for fun times and help them deal with their challenges, but don't really ask for help back.

MFP is a big part of my inspiration and toolkit to find better balance in life. So I'm also doing something today that I've never done. Telling other people that I'm having a really bad day and feel like sh*t. To the outside world I often seem on top of stuff, but I don't always have all my sh*t together. So yeah, there it is. I'm not perfect and I feel like crap. Hormones, cramps, migraine, overwhelmed with work with sociopathic boss (not an exaggeration - it's sad), a few painful interactions with the husband et voila!

So we could make this a wall of positivity for all of us having a bit of a rough time. Anything positive welcome! :)

I'll start with something... looking outside at beautiful snow covered trees. It reminds me that life is bigger than my sadness, than this moment, than me, and everything changes.
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:07 AM
Since you started with the outdoors, I will too! :) I started running again for the first time in two years and I have a new trail. Everything is a bit dead for now because of the cold, but this summer - the field that runs alongside the entire trail is absolutely COVERED in sunflowers! Just thinking about it makes me warmer when I'm out there!

Hope you have a really happy day!
  86987
January 21, 2013 4:09 AM
Oh Fiona, that's tough for you! But you know, a sign of strength is recognising when you need help and stepping up to ask for it. You've made a huge step by coming here, because you know it's a safe place to ask for support, or to share a problem, or to sound off and that people here will rally round to offer hugs and sympathy with some words of advice.
Keep asking and never feel bad that you need to do so, because sharing really helps, in so many ways.
Thinking of you and sending cyber hugs.
x

If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.
~ Dalai Lama
  6904825
January 21, 2013 4:10 AM
QUOTE:

Since you started with the outdoors, I will too! :) I started running again for the first time in two years and I have a new trail. Everything is a bit dead for now because of the cold, but this summer - the field that runs alongside the entire trail is absolutely COVERED in sunflowers! Just thinking about it makes me warmer when I'm out there!

Hope you have a really happy day!


Sounds wonderful! Thanks for sharing. :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:10 AM
Normally I'd be all over this, list things I'm grateful for etc. but it's 4:00am, I have too much >#}{|<>€** pain from calcific tendonitis I can't sleep. I'm thinking how can I go to work this week? How can I wait six months for surgery and I should find out how much it costs to do it privately. ( tears ). I kinda detest self pity and usually practice looking at the positive, so I guess your post is a reminder for me.
January 21, 2013 4:11 AM
QUOTE:

Oh Fiona, that's tough for you! But you know, a sign of strength is recognising when you need help and stepping up to ask for it. You've made a huge step by coming here, because you know it's a safe place to ask for support, or to share a problem, or to sound off and that people here will rally round to offer hugs and sympathy with some words of advice.
Keep asking and never feel bad that you need to do so, because sharing really helps, in so many ways.
Thinking of you and sending cyber hugs.
x

If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.
~ Dalai Lama


Thanks for the very sage advice, and cyber hugs! Means a lot. :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:12 AM
I will run today because I can. There's something positive to look forward to:)
January 21, 2013 4:12 AM
QUOTE:

Normally I'd be all over this, list things I'm grateful for etc. but it's 4:00am, I have too much >#}{|<>€** pain from calcific tendonitis I can't sleep. I'm thinking how can I go to work this week? How can I wait six months for surgery and I should find out how much it costs to do it privately. ( tears ). I kinda detest self pity and usually practice looking at the positive, so I guess your post is a reminder for me.


It's okay to feel like sh*t for awhile first before rallying yourself -- process the pain and difficult emotions. You're not a robot, you're allowed to have all feelings! Sending big hugs and wishes for continued strength and a speedy recovery.

x
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:12 AM
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Robert Frost
January 21, 2013 4:13 AM
QUOTE:

I will run today because I can. There's something positive to look forward to:)


woot! there was a guy in MFP who posted that his biggest inspiration to exercise came from a little kid in a wheelchair who would encourage him to keep running...

you make such a good point. despite the pain and/or health problems, we've still got vitality! :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:15 AM
@Hbazzell, nice share, I'm a Frost fan too. :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:17 AM
Thankyou for your kind words:). I have a really cool dog who can be a bit standoffish like a cat but right now she is staying close:)
January 21, 2013 4:18 AM
Ok ,so I'm having a bad day food-wise and it's only 12:15pm!!!! I guess that a positive thought is that I have less chocolates to tempt me as I've just eaten 4 of them!!!

And, yes, the snow is soooo beautiful and, after walking to work this morning, I was sent home as school is closed so I have had a morning at home and been paid for it!!! Another positive thing!

I use food as a real crutch- happy, sad, lonely, whatever........if you need friends on here do feel free to send me a friend request.I am on here every day and, whilst not always being a very good example, I do really value and try to support the amazing people who so inspire and encourage me.

keep going- one day at a time

flowerforyou

Sally x
  10553083
January 21, 2013 4:22 AM
You snow people are in the UK aren't you? We have no snow here in Vancouver. It's 4:00am here. Live the Robert Frost poem too. When it gets closer to the morning I have stone ground oatmeal with apples and cinnamon waiting for me to heat up in the fridge:)
January 21, 2013 4:22 AM
QUOTE:

Ok ,so I'm having a bad day food-wise and it's only 12:15pm!!!! I guess that a positive thought is that I have less chocolates to tempt me as I've just eaten 4 of them!!!

And, yes, the snow is soooo beautiful and, after walking to work this morning, I was sent home as school is closed so I have had a morning at home and been paid for it!!! Another positive thing!

I use food as a real crutch- happy, sad, lonely, whatever........if you need friends on here do feel free to send me a friend request.I am on here every day and, whilst not always being a very good example, I do really value and try to support the amazing people who so inspire and encourage me.

keep going- one day at a time

flowerforyou

Sally x


That's the spirit! lol. Emotional eating is surprisingly common. There's a wonderful book worth picking up, "Food: the good girl's drug..." that goes into why we do it, and even better, is filled with success stories and practical strategies for managing it.

What's something nice you could do for yourself now that's not food related? Bath, shower, manicure, facial, a walk, curl up with a good book, listen to music... ?? whatever resonates for you... :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:26 AM
Oh my gosh, I've got that book on my bedside table and it is next in line to be read!!!! Like you, I would resort to a good book or to something like a hot bath to move me away from food and to cheer myself up a bit. I've also just ordered Paul McKenna's new book/CD which, apparently makes you believe that you have had a gastric band fitted!!!! I'm very hopeful........ (something else positive, we have to have hope!).x

PS Yes, I think it is the UK people who are going on about snow on here- I'm south of London and we've had a blissfully snowy weekend!
  10553083
January 21, 2013 4:29 AM
Have to go record a radio show -- time to smile and suck it up! Will be back here after to recharge my batteries with all this lovely positivity. You guys rock! Thank you. :)

x
  34500449
January 21, 2013 4:31 AM
I've always been a person who helps others and tends to have friends who are needy. But the last few years I have surrounded my self with supportive women who look out for me as much as I look out for them. At first I made an effort to choose and keep these friendships because it was different for me. I am nearly 45 years old. It is such a blessing to have these women in my life! And it wasn't difficult to do:) I just have to check my thoughts every now and then.
January 21, 2013 4:39 AM
Hi Fiona. It was so funny to read your post. I could have been looking in a mirror. I am the exact same way. When I am down or depressed or having a bad day, people rarely know it. I am not the one walking around moaning and complaining and I am the one who is always there for others.

But as I have gotten older, I have realized that it is important for me to be able to ask for help and lean on others. I have two really good friends who are like sisters to me and I know that I can count on them for encouragement. I'm not one to put it out there to everyone, but I know these two people love and care about me.

Secondly, I am Christian and do believe in prayer and meditation. I think that what I like the most about it is it is very private. I have also started taking yoga to help me relax. We as women have maddening lives with so many responsibilities and so many people to take care of. It is important that we take care of ourselves and find our center as well.
  5483831
January 21, 2013 4:48 AM
Always think that tomorrow will be a better day. Sorry your having a bad day hope it gets better for you. Things im sure could be worse.
January 21, 2013 4:59 AM
I just went through this a couple days ago. Couldn't figure out why I hadn't lost weight for my weigh in and started feeling down...and BAM there it was..my lovely monthly. I don't take bc because I can't due to my blood pressure, plus I just feel it's un natural to control your hormones with pills. Sooooo every month I get really down and feel like eating every single thing in my house. Before I got it, I felt ontop of the world..I was eating right and exercising..then this all just caused me to say f*ck it to the exercise for two days even though I have to weigh in this week. It really is a b**ch, so I understand where you're coming from. It will get better though, I promise! This morning I decided to make eggs and bacon for breakfast instead of the carb and sugar packed cereal I usually eat...I feel sooooo much better.

We're all here to support you girl, so chin up! smile flowerforyou
January 21, 2013 8:15 AM
QUOTE:

Always think that tomorrow will be a better day. Sorry your having a bad day hope it gets better for you. Things im sure could be worse.


Thanks very much. :)
  34500449
January 21, 2013 8:16 AM
QUOTE:

Hi Fiona. It was so funny to read your post. I could have been looking in a mirror. I am the exact same way. When I am down or depressed or having a bad day, people rarely know it. I am not the one walking around moaning and complaining and I am the one who is always there for others.

But as I have gotten older, I have realized that it is important for me to be able to ask for help and lean on others. I have two really good friends who are like sisters to me and I know that I can count on them for encouragement. I'm not one to put it out there to everyone, but I know these two people love and care about me.

Secondly, I am Christian and do believe in prayer and meditation. I think that what I like the most about it is it is very private. I have also started taking yoga to help me relax. We as women have maddening lives with so many responsibilities and so many people to take care of. It is important that we take care of ourselves and find our center as well.


Cheers to all those wonderful strategies!! Thanks for sharing. It's' so good to hear that you're finding people as lovely as you are. Inspiring. :)

x
  34500449
January 21, 2013 8:17 AM
QUOTE:

I just went through this a couple days ago. Couldn't figure out why I hadn't lost weight for my weigh in and started feeling down...and BAM there it was..my lovely monthly. I don't take bc because I can't due to my blood pressure, plus I just feel it's un natural to control your hormones with pills. Sooooo every month I get really down and feel like eating every single thing in my house. Before I got it, I felt ontop of the world..I was eating right and exercising..then this all just caused me to say f*ck it to the exercise for two days even though I have to weigh in this week. It really is a b**ch, so I understand where you're coming from. It will get better though, I promise! This morning I decided to make eggs and bacon for breakfast instead of the carb and sugar packed cereal I usually eat...I feel sooooo much better.

We're all here to support you girl, so chin up! smile flowerforyou


Thanks, lovely! So glad to hear that you had an awesome start to your day today! :)

x
  34500449
January 21, 2013 8:27 AM
QUOTE:

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Robert Frost


Thank you so much for reminding me of one of my most favorite poets and words that have lit my life since childhood. :)
  32912188

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