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TOPIC: Excuse me? An eating disorder?

 
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October 8, 2012 7:25 AM
I know this sounds odd, but I remember my friend being offended that someone thought she had an eating disorder (I promise you… She did not.) I remember just brushing her off like, “oh, please, if only I got those comments!” (I was just below 190 at this point).

I totally get it, now.

My mom and now apparently grandmother (I’m sure freaked by my mom’s comments) think that I have an eating disorder/body dysmorphia because I am 150 and still trying to lose weight. Who’da thunk I want to be toned? I am flabbergasted. She said I don’t look like myself and my hand is bigger than my head (oh please!) and this and this and that. I could not be more pissed! I worked SO hard to get here. I want to celebrate my loss but instead I feel like I have to defend myself! It’s ridiculous. It’s hard to even enjoy eating around some family because I get eye rolls. The only supportive one has been my sister and my husband, so I AM lucky to have them. But I am still so pissed!

Is anybody else having this problem? How do you handle it? Am I wrong to be offended? I’m usually so good about brushing stuff off my shoulder (I have always been a little odd and this technique got me through middle school) but there’s something about this comment that just… Ugh.

I am 150 at 5’5”, perfectly average. Not even “skinny” or “thin”. I wear a size 8—not a double zero (which isn’t bad for most body types but might look odd on mine). I’m just fine. Healthy, even. Better than fine. And I do want to lose more weight—I’d like to have a flat stomach and have visible muscles in my arms and legs—not a bad thing! A healthy thing! END RANT.
  24128580
October 8, 2012 7:29 AM
Honey I am right there with ya.... I keep being told to "eat a sandwhich" and "when is the last time you ate something"...... I even was accused of doing drugs and making myself vomit.....

I am trying to brush it off but it does get a little hard. Luckily I have an AWESOME husband that supports me and tells me how much I have improved in a good way!!

I just figured the people saying this B.S. to me aren't happy with themselves and I just leave it at that...

You look GREAT BTW!!!!!!
October 8, 2012 7:29 AM
If that's your current pic in the bikini, you look awesome!
5'5" and 150lbs sound very reasonable to me. You look fit, and healthy.

I think that sometimes, when we try to improve ourselves, that some of the people closest to us (for whatever reason; jealousy, personal self-esteem, etc.) try to sabotage our efforts in an effort to make themselves feel better.

Now, if you don't look like your latest pics on here, and you do have ribs sticking out, etc. etc. then I may say something different...but based on what you said, and based on what I see, you seem extremely healthy and at a perfect weight. :)
  27326678
October 8, 2012 7:29 AM
OMG; that is annoying! I don't remember getting remarks like that the last time I was height/weight proportionate, but I'd say something like "the subject of my eating and exercise habits is CLOSED." Repeat as necessary.
October 8, 2012 7:37 AM
Years ago, my (now) ex-mother-in-law said to me... "Some people are just meant to be fat." I think it was her way of telling me she accepted me the way I was regardless of my size. Back then, it really made me angry. I thought she was insulting me. I thought she was giving me crap for working so hard to lose 75 pounds. At the time I had slimmed down from a size 22 to a size 12. I was really happy about my acheivement, but somehow I felt she was trying to make jabs at me. Ok bad example.

My mom used to say crap to me like... "I'm just worried about your health. What if you become diabetic because you're overweight?" I got her to stop making this sort of comment to me by saying, "Mom, I appreciate your concern. I'm doing what I can to make changes in my life in order to become more healthy. However, if you are worried about your own health issues, please do not put those fears on me." Maybe another bad example.

Ok so this probably wasn't very helpful, but I understand your frustration. Just remember... people who put others down, do so because they have poor self-esteem. They have their own internal crap going on and try to put it on other people. You know the old saying... "misery loves company." I know it might be hard to say this to your mom and grandma, but sometimes you just gotta stand up and say, "Don't put your stuff on me! I have my own stuff and it's enough!"
Edited by randomgirlusa On October 8, 2012 7:39 AM
October 8, 2012 7:44 AM
If they're genuinely concerned, tell you appreciate their concern but are fine. They only want to make sure you're healthy, and aren't used to seeing you at such a low weight. To them, it probably does look skinny. If it's because they don't want you to lose weight due to jealously or just being unable to accept the "new you", just ignore them.
October 8, 2012 8:01 AM
Yeah I get this from my own mother. It makes living 700 miles away a lot easier. Everyone in my life but her has been so supportive.. and you think if anyone should support you, it would be your mama. When my children and I flew home for a week last month and were staying in their house, while I was showering and she was sitting with my 5 year old, she tried to get him to tell her that I don't eat. NO, really. She said to him "So Mommy doesn't eat anymore, huh?" Of course that's also my child that has anxiety issues and he's been worried since about me eating. Angry isn't even the word. It's amazing... amazing.. how people can be about someone elses weight. Insecurity is disgusting. You look fantastic!
  4452835
October 8, 2012 8:28 AM
I get the "you should really go eat something" from a lot of people. It only bothers me when people I'm not incredibly close to like coworkers feel they have the right to drill me on what I've eaten that day!
October 8, 2012 11:12 AM
The head and hand comment is silly, neither are places you lose weight so what does that have to do with anything??

I haven't gotten that to my face, but then again I was always skinny growing up and only recently put on weight, so I think to my family I have now gone back to "normal" for me.

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