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TOPIC: When people start hating you because you are losing weight?

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October 6, 2012 9:32 AM
So its been about a year and a half and I've lost 50+ pounds in total, 21 since I started here this year, and although my family and my friends are happy for me a lot of people at work are a lot meaner to me now, specially the women at work. I mean even people who I rarely talk to now glare at me and some of them have even tried to get me into trouble by making up stuff about me and telling my boss. I overheard one of them say during lunch how I look stuck up and stuff. And one of them almost got me into deep trouble but I had proof that demonstrated against the accusations that they made of me. I really don't care about being friends with them and all but it's really affecting the job environment. If its already this bad, I fear I'll end up worse when I reach my goal weight. What can I do?? What would you all do??
October 6, 2012 9:38 AM
Well I can tell you that that happens everywhere! Ive been dealing with the same issue as well. Suddenly I'm the enemy of some women at work for no reason other than the fact that I'm getting healthy and losing excess weight and they are not. I just avoid talking about my "diet" if they ask and I find just ignoring the comments and standing your ground for your lifestlye are best. Definitely don't let them ruin all your hard work. congrats on such awesome losses!
October 6, 2012 9:39 AM
What makes you think it's because you've lost weight? Could it be something else? Are all of the "mean" women overweight?
October 6, 2012 9:41 AM
My daughter went through that.
October 6, 2012 9:43 AM
I am experiencing the same thing! The more weight I lose, the more people talk "trash". People hate to see you doing good. It's sad but a lot of women are like that, especially older, overweight, undermotivated ones. They are afraid to do what you are doing so they put you down for it.
October 6, 2012 9:48 AM
It is because they are jealous that you have such determination to be healthy, and want to look better for yourself.

This happens a lot, a lot people do not understand that you want this. So they get jealous, and instead of saying,"Hey great job, looking good". They take the low road, and choose to become mean, and put you down and make you miserable so they can feel better about themselves, it really is the easy way.
October 6, 2012 9:48 AM
Is it possible that your attitude has changed since you lost weight and that's what they don't like?
October 6, 2012 9:49 AM
Do not let them get to you at all dear..

After all.. Haters gonna hate, I always say.
October 6, 2012 9:49 AM
i also noticed that not everyone are happy about my progress, but i guess i just have to deal with it. I noticed that it changed my personality too, now i evaluate situations and act accordingly and i'm more aware of other's peoples feeling so i could anticipate my reaction and response.

these are one of those things that we have to learn as we progress trough this
October 6, 2012 9:50 AM
ye agree. people hate to see other people happy. but i know myself when i lose weight i become more confident and my personality changes. id have the confidence to say sumtin that i might have let slip by me when i was heavier. people mightn'd like that. well done on the weight loss thou.
October 6, 2012 9:50 AM
I'd refuse to make it about my weight or my weight loss. I'd take the 'ringleader' to one side (on their own) and ask them what their problem is with me. I'd address any work related comments, respond on those specific issues and then make it quite clear that if there are more comment in the workplace, I'd be taking it up with the boss who will take it up formally as it makes for a toxic (and potentially litigious), work environment.

That should do it. Don't get drawn into any personal discussions nor talk about your weight/diet. This is a workplace - treat it like one and make your colleagues do the same.
October 6, 2012 9:51 AM
I had a woman I work with tell me that I had "lost enough weight and I need to stop now".... What? I'm still almost 160 lbs still...who says that???
October 6, 2012 9:51 AM
Just remember that it is a reflection on them and not you.. I deal with the same thing at my part time job. Thank goodness I'm only there 2x a week. It's been like that since before I started losing weight. Just realize that there are a lot of miserable people in this world so they don't like it when they see someone happier or doing something positive for themselves. I truly believe it's their own insecurities and issues, so instead of letting them make me feel bad, I actually kind of pity them because its sad that they have such little sense of self worth that they need to put others down to feel good about themselves. Just keep doing what you're doing and remember that no matter how beautiful you become on the outside, it has to match the inside and ignore the HATERS.
October 6, 2012 9:52 AM
I say, call them out. Go right up to them and ask, "Do you have a problem with me? If, you do, I'd like to know what it is." Most people won't have the guts to answer. If they see that they are intimidating you, they'll just keep doing it. If after that, it doesn't stop, speak to your boss about what's going on, explain that you've tried asking them if there is a problem, and tell your boss that if it continues, you will have no choice but to go to your human resources department and file a complaint.
October 6, 2012 9:52 AM

So its been about a year and a half and I've lost 50+ pounds in total, 21 since I started here this year, and although my family and my friends are happy for me a lot of people at work are a lot meaner to me now, specially the women at work.

What can I do?? What would you all do??

I am experiencing this a little bit as well. Luckily for me, I work remotely so I deal with most folks over the phone!

When it does happen to me, I smile or spark of a conversation....comment their shoes, shirt, etc or talk about a current something at work that is positive. I am lucky in the aspect that I have been at my current employer for 11 yrs so I have a good reputation, they have seen me chubby and skinny. Most of my current coworkers are older than me, I don't talk about my diet or running with them, it's the guys that want to talk to me about that stuff smile
October 6, 2012 9:52 AM
All you can do is "kill 'em with kindness"! I know being nice to people who talk behind your back is hard, but if you have a positive attitude then there is nothing anyone can say about you. Maybe bake up a big batch of brownies to take to work, eat a small bite and then leave the rest for the "haters". You can't talk smack with your mouth full! :)
October 6, 2012 9:52 AM
And I thought I had it bad. People have to be so rude about people weight loss. I dont get it. When ur fat people look at you and make fun of you and when you lose weight they say ur so skinny now I cant ever win. Im sorry about ur situation and if its effecting your work then I would probably quit and look for another job its not worth it
October 6, 2012 9:53 AM
I was flabbergasted when my good friend took this intervention mentality with me....made me look in the mirror and weigh myself in front of her!!! She was urging me to eat....put some weight back on. I'm very conscious of making sound health decisions and was offended that she was implying I was being unhealthy. She, at that point, was at the pinnacle of a depression induced weight gain. She was having a hard time watching me excel in my lifestyle change efforts. 43 I'm more fit, slimmer, and healtheir than ever!!! Jealousy makes ppl weird....simple as that.
October 6, 2012 9:54 AM
Losing weight is looking like you are getting it all together and that triggers some people to feel bad about themselves. It's not usually a conscious reaction so they have to make up reasons why they feel angry, thus why you are irritating them. I've noticed my sister rarely contacts me anymore; she's too nice to say anything mean, but she can't be around me and I understand. When I worked in an office in multiple locations there was always a trouble maker though. I never understood how they kept their job being so unpleasant to everyone, but their bosses "walked on eggshells" to get along with them. I couldn't stand the tension that always surrounded them, but at least I could leave. They will always have it.
October 6, 2012 9:54 AM
Or, find a new job then kick each one of them in the taco on your way out the door! lol
October 6, 2012 9:56 AM
I haven't lost that much yet, but my co-workers have seen me walking around the lake and have congratulated me for walking. I don't know what will happen if I lose, but I think some woman can become jealous that you're losing weight and enjoying life and perhaps they aren't?
October 6, 2012 9:56 AM
I'm sorry you have to experience that, but you gotta keep that head up high and stay confident and motivated no matter what. You are doing the right thing for yourself and always have the courage to pursue your goal. We don't have the control of how people react to it we can only control ours. DO NOT be an easy target if people feel they could easily put you down then they would and they will continue.

Keep your focus, stay confident knowing you are doing the right thing especially for yourself. Do not entertain any negative thoughts. All these will only make you a stronger person. With that I'd like to share with you my all time favorite quotation by Charles Swindol:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
October 6, 2012 10:00 AM
I tend to be careful about being modest about the weight loss. I stress that it is hard work and that I am committed because I have degenerative disc disease and I must lose weight or I will become increasingly immobile. If you take the empasis off of the appearance, and be grateful for them aknowledging your hard work, and even say that you appreciate everyone being supportive, it gives them an opportunity to live up to your praise.
October 6, 2012 10:00 AM
depending on where you work there are anti bullying laws. At my work there are harrassment policies. Just the fact that you feel threatened is harrassment. Go to the equal opportunity officer. If it's a small place and not one available, then go to highest boss and talk to them. If it is insignificant job then get another one. Tell them you are there to work and not to play silly childlike games.
October 6, 2012 10:18 AM
Generally I would say screw them and ignore the haters, but the moment they start messing with your work and trying to get you fired the gloves are off. That is making a hostile work environment and you should not have to deal with that. Time to get HR and/or your boss in the loop of what is happening. Try to keep it unemotional but full of facts of what has been happening (for example I would leave out the glaring part, that is something you can't prove and could make you look just paranoid). Your management may be the type that doesn't want to get involved in a personal fight, but let them know that if someone it lying to them to try to get to you that it is in their best interest to make it stop. Good luck, and don't let them get you down.

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