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TOPIC: family doesnt support me is it worth it?

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October 5, 2012 8:23 PM
when one member in a family changes it makes the other members uncomfortable. The status quo will resist but gradually if the changee (you) stays the course your family will realize no matter what they do/say can prevent the change. Acceptance happens, sometimes others change, sometimes others support but YOU can not use that excuse! My family doesn't support me is the negative thinking talking. Hang tough! there are many successes here and so much support cheering you on wanting you to succeed. Just a thought, consider eating closer to your calorie allotment sometimes too few calories and a busy life results in irritability (speaking from experience) Exercise makes one mentally & physically strong. You can do this!flowerforyou
October 5, 2012 8:25 PM
Is it worth it? Yes! Think of a life where you feel comfortable in your clothes. Think of your future without diabetes and heart disease. Think of how your knees will feel fine in 20 years if you lose the weight now. You can do it. You're losing it for you, not them.
October 5, 2012 8:25 PM
Be the example!! Once they see you making progress they will change thei mind about not doing it with you!
October 5, 2012 8:26 PM
I used to be very self conscious when I worked out. In the words of the great Dr. Seuss "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." Honestly, You're doing this for you and no one else. I know it's terrible when you catch people staring at you or saying unsupportive things, but keep at it. You'll gain better form in your movements, and your body will start changing. When that happens, the comments and stares will change as well.
"Wow, I really regret doing all of that exercise." Said no one ever. :)
October 5, 2012 8:27 PM
If people are around and you don't want to workout in front of them, then just head out the door and go for a walk. Walk a s brisk pace for as long as you can and then go home. Don't worry about what other people think. I felt really self conscious when I started running (particularly when I would wear tight running clothes) I felt like I was subjecting the world to the sight of my not so good looking body jiggling around but I kept at it non the less. Now I'm down about 25 lbs from where I started (right before I found MFP) and while I still have a ways to go, I know that I have nothing to be embarrassed about and if anybody has an issue with how I look, then they can run my 5 to 13+ miles and then tell me about it! :P
October 5, 2012 8:28 PM
bump :)
October 5, 2012 8:28 PM
You can do this. You just have to want it. It really doesn't matter in the long run if they support you in your goal. You make this happen. Once you start seeing results, they will start seeing it too.

It was like that for me until the first 30 fell off. Then, my guys (all men in this household except for me) were on board and kept the "sweet snacks" out of my reach (I'm also the shortest one). 109 pounds later, you better believe I counted on me and I believed that this time was different.

You can do this! Really, you can do this!
October 5, 2012 8:31 PM
I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't supporting you... it does hurt emotionally no matter how hard you try to block it. Ultimately though, this journey is for you and you alone. Next time they see you exercising ask them if they want to join in... if they say no just smile, shrug, and keep going.

Also, a tip from someone who has lost the weight... always remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. There will be times when you only lose a pound, or your weight *gasp* goes up, or you stall out for weeks at a time. The way to do it is one pound at a time. When you see "1 lb lost" on the scale, smile and be HAPPY because that is great! Its a test of patience. It is also a great learning experience. Sure you learn about diet and fitness, but you also learn a heck of a lot about yourself along the way! Have fun :)
October 5, 2012 8:34 PM
It's tough, and I bet most of your family is overweight. If so, chances are they secretly rooting for you to fail. They don't want to see you lose weight, and lead a healthy life style because then they have one less excuse. I was hoping to lead the charge and be the one who got healthy in my house, it didn't happen. It took me a while to realize that I shouldn't give a **** what they think, or if they followed in my footsteps. I quit smoking, and dropped this weight for me, not them. Sure, I'm sad they haven't done the same, but that's their choice. I made mine.

High cholesterol and diabetes runs in my family. Everyone just assumes we have **** genetics. That's what I thought. Had high trigs, and was on my way to diabetes. Until I got blood work done a few months after I had started on my diet. Even with me still 45 pounds overweight I had a clean bill of health. Normal numbers. I think that's when I realized I only had control over my own life. Everyone still believed that it was all genetics and nothing they could do about it. Even though I was there, the contradiction, staring them in the face. They have to know it's not genetics...I'm proof, but they wish to continue their bad habits. That's up to them, but I won't let it stand in my way. Now, I can't wait to go get my blood drawn. I'm actually excited about my lab work coming in for the first time ever.

Best of luck to you, and try to continue despite their crap attitude. A cheap gym worked for me. See if there are any planet fitness nearby. Anyone can afford them at $10/month(no contract). Sure it's not the greatest gym, and a lot of people give them crap but if you are just doing cardio and light weights it can't be beat for the price.
October 5, 2012 8:40 PM
Gosh, I used to feel the same. I'd wait until everyone was out or asleep.

You could try working out in a room away from everyone, or while they are out. And go for brisk walks, you'll get no funny looks and it's good excersize. You'll regret quitting a year from now, so stay strong
October 5, 2012 8:59 PM
If your family isn't supportive, see if you have any friends from work who would be your support. I see you're a Nurse, so I would bet that you know someone who would be glad to be there when you need someone. I agree that is doing the videos when they are around makes you uncomfortable then walking might be a good option. Find something you like doing so much that you don't care who's looking..for me that is Zumba..and I have 2 left feet and no rhythm but love it so much that when I finish my workout, I'm already planning when I can go again. You can Friend me if you want a cheerleader on herehappy happy
October 5, 2012 9:05 PM
Don't listen to your family, listen to the GREAT advice here! You count, you are worth it, and you'll have the last laugh. Hang in there, you can do it. This is a great place for support!
October 5, 2012 9:07 PM
This seems the same thing I went through...No family support..Would get depressed and cave in...Been a week on mfp and past 2 days been difficult still learning....But I believe I can conquer this with friends from this site...So can you...After awhile the family gets to you....So keep in there you'll be great...
October 5, 2012 9:11 PM
what other people think of you, is none of your business....

Get on with it and do this for you, and no one else...
October 5, 2012 9:14 PM

I feel ashamed when I work out to the point of not doing it if someone is in the house. I am 100+ over weight and I know I need to loose it but it's hard when I am the only one doing it. And I get looked at like there is a giant cow having a seizer in the house when im working out. So tired of going it alone. In only 15 days in and ready to quit.

Do not feel ashamed about doing something that is physically right for you. Working out is not something to be ashamed of.

No one is pretty when they work out, and if they are, they're probably doing it wrong. There's nothing wrong with looking like a giant cow having a seizure. If you do it enough, you'll look like a fairy princess having a seizure.

Don't quit. You're worth it.
October 5, 2012 9:15 PM

My husband and my daughter mocked and dismissed my efforts for about the first month. Once my husband saw I was serious and didn't give a crap what he thinks, and he started seeing the results on my body, he started changing his tune. He went from mocking, to tolerating, to now supporting me. And my daughter tells me how proud she is. I think it freaks families out when you try to change yourself somehow, especially if you are in a huge "caregiver" role. It's like, "Oh no. Mom is taking care of HERSELF for once. OMG, maybe some attention will be taken away from US. And maybe the chips and cookies and nice homecooked meals will STOP! Let's panic." I don't know, that's my psychological analysis of it all. Lol.

^^ THIS ^^ Hang in there and don't let their rude comments/actions dissuade you! Take care of YOU, so you can be here to take care of THEM in the long run.
October 5, 2012 9:15 PM
Can you work out in your bedroom even if you have to move some furniture around? How about in the back yard with some music? What about walking or going to the local YMCA? I would feel the same way. It's hard to ignore people when you think they're judging you. Make a new plan and find new places to work out. Don't let anyone keep you from improving yourself. Who knows you could be an excellent inspiration to them one day. Please don't give up.
Edited by LinDiSm26262 On October 5, 2012 9:50 PM
October 5, 2012 9:19 PM
Nina, Don't quit! who cares what others think. You have to do this for you and if your ready to do it for you then don't let anything stop you. I promise you that you will not regret it IF this is want you want for yourself. I always wanted to be skinner but it didn't start to happen until I started to change my habits and lifestyle FOR ME and ONLY ME. I just started MFP a few days ago so your probably thinking what the heck am I talking about. I have lost 96 with Weight Watchers in the last yr. YOU CAN DO THIS!
October 5, 2012 9:20 PM
My family would always talk down on me when they teased me about having a "health kick". Now they all ask me for advice.
October 5, 2012 9:22 PM
F*** everyone else. If I didn't have my MFP friends I wouldn't get any support either. Just do what you need to do. They'll all shut up once you start getting big results. Then they'll be asking you what you've been doing. Then you can laugh.
October 5, 2012 9:23 PM
I think you have to ask yourself:

- what are my MY motivations for working out?
- do these looks matter in the grand scheme of things?
- will the results be worth my efforts: and how will I benefit?

Okay, enough of the Dr. Phil sermon. lol
October 5, 2012 9:26 PM
Don't give up.

Forget what they have to say! It's totally worth it.
October 5, 2012 9:29 PM
My husband was HORRIBLE every time and I would use his attitude as my reason to quit time after time but then about a year and a half ago I just quit letting his opinion matter. He tried his hardest to sabotage me and I just would not give in. He'd bring home my favorite foods and eat them in front of me...bring it home especially for me and try to guilt me into eating it. It was stupid ridiculous.

This went on for about 4 months and by then I'd lost 50 pounds and people started noticing and complimenting...he's been (mostly) supportive ever since and I have broken free from needing his approval.

Win/Win. :)

You are worth this whether anyone in your family realizes that or not. Don't give up!
October 5, 2012 9:36 PM
Some people will stay on welfare bc they were raised on it. Some will have the drive to work. Some people will drink bc they were raised by an alcoholic. Some people will be determined not to be controlled by a substance. Some people will abuse others bc they were abused. Some people will break the cycle.

Likewise, some people are raised in a fat family eating bad foods and being sedentary--so they stay that way. Others have the gumption to change.

It's hard to get and stay fit. It's hard to stay fat. Pick your hard.
October 5, 2012 9:48 PM


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