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TOPIC: ISO 400 lb success stories

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September 25, 2012 6:55 PM
I'm on here for my weight loss and I invited my brother because he expressed an interest in losing weight several months ago. He made plans to go to the gym starting October, but it's not looking like it will happen. He's 19, doesn't drive, won't walk or bike to the gym. He won't walk or bike around the block. He spent all his graduation money (close to $1k) on a weight bench and weights that my obese step-dad convinced him to buy...he doesn't use the set. My mom is another hindrance. She seems to think because he's so big he can't work out, but then she won't buy good foods.

I live an hour away and am 13 years older so we never really were close but I care deeply about his health.

He has many medical issues and I KNOW most are attributed to his severe obesity. He's in 4X shirts and like a 60 something waist.

Please, if you have any words of advice....I'm desperate to help him.
September 25, 2012 7:00 PM
Do lots of praying until he makes his mind up to do it I am not sure it will happen
September 25, 2012 7:02 PM
Can he move in with you? Seriously, he will not find success anywhere unless he is ready to make the changes.

Just let him know you will be there for him no matter what, and will support him if he chooses to improve his health and life. Make sure he hears and sees unconditional love from you now, not judgement.
September 25, 2012 7:03 PM
You can't make him do it. Just encourage him, let him know that it is possible.
September 25, 2012 7:08 PM
I already knew your answers :( Not what I wanted to hear. I know. I'm just waiting for him to realize it and it's just breaking my heart. My mom is 100 lbs soaking wet and my sister is in good shape.

I was just hoping someone could share how poor their health was and how exercise and diet changed their life.

But I do know it's true....even I, who was just 30 lbs over weight, didn't care about hearing weight loss stories until I was ready.
September 25, 2012 8:04 PM
Maybe focus on how great it will be for him? I started from a much lower starting point at 114 kg (251 lb) and am currently just under 85 kg (187 lb) but even then it's really amazing how much of a difference it's made for me. For a 400 lb guy it would be so much more so. Like:
* I always used to be the sweaty guy. Not any more.
* The world is a friendlier place. (That might be partly my outlook and partly an indictment of the world in general, but either way, it's still a big plus.) Especially for a 19 year old, that alone can be life changing.
* Can keep up with my kids!
* Clothes shopping - never enjoyed it before, I felt like I was always trying to hide my gut. Much more fun now.

In general, everything is a lot easier. But others are right, he needs to drive it himself.
Edited by sam_gamgee On September 25, 2012 8:06 PM
September 25, 2012 8:17 PM
I know what you mean. My brother is 22...he is somewhere close to 300 lbs and the way he looks, so tight and stretched it makes me think of how I felt when pregnant (and I was ginormous in the belly) and your skin just feels "tight" and like you will pop. He smokes, drinks and doesn't exercise. His fave food is mac and cheese. or anything cheese. And lots of it. Oh and chicken nuggets. :/ But I can't make him want it--I've tried! He has to want it for himself. Best wishes.
September 25, 2012 9:06 PM
Not sure if this will help - when you see him, sit down with him and watch a couple episodes of Chris Powell's Extreme Weight Loss. The transformations are amazing and it totally inspires me. Get him to a doctor - I'm sure she/he will tell your brother than he is on a collision course with diabetes/heart disease/stroke and will die at a young age. What scared me into getting my fat butt off the couch was the pre-diabetes diagnosis. Also, getting him to be active on this site will also be helpful. The daily food and exercise log is such a great help. I'm a long way to goal but it seems like a realistic goal with the support from MFP.
September 25, 2012 9:21 PM
Okay, I'm going to say this the nicest way I know how. You have great intentions, but you need to drop this with him NOW. Bringing this issue up with him without his prompting is not going to help the boy, and it's going to make him feel like you will only love him if he loses weight or if he was skinnier. It will hurt his feelings and upset him, not inspire him, plus push him away from you. Please, please, do not push it with him. He probably has enough of these feelings from the stepfather pushing him to buy a weight machine he didn't want to begin with.
September 25, 2012 11:02 PM
Check out tlc's documentary series My 600lb life. Its on youtube. Melissa's story is what started my journey. I can do it!
September 25, 2012 11:42 PM
No one can make him do it, he has to decide that he wants it for himself. I know from experience that you cannot stick to exercing and eating healthy unless YOU want it. I started so many diets and exercising plans over the past few years and none ever lasted more than a week or two. Why? Because I was doing it because my family wanted me to, not because I wanted to. He has to want this for himself or he'll never start and stick to it. Just be as supportive and encouraging as you can be.
September 26, 2012 12:02 AM
383lb, that was my weight 55 days ago (56 by now ;) ) And that was the point where I stepped on the scales for the first time in 10-12 years and had the scare of my life. I realized I did not want to be like this.

I wear the 4X shirts, have trouble finding nice pants to fit in, the whole thing.

For me the biggest change in lifestyle is food. And I can imagine that is difficult for him right now, since he isn't the one doing his own shopping, and buying his own food. MFP helped me to realize how much crap I shovelled in every single day. But I'll be honest when I say the change has to come from yourself. No one can make him do this, he has to make his own realization. Because only then it really works, it doesn't become a chore, or a task, but a lifestyle change.
September 26, 2012 12:15 AM
He will only start to lose weight once he is ready for it, not before- As you say he has expressed an interest in losing weight then perhaps he will get moving just needs the right motivators- perhaps a guy and not his big sister

this blog is very inspirational and Shawn ("Tyler") was in his early twenties when he started it so perhaps your brother could identify....
September 27, 2012 1:51 AM
Someone e-mailed me a link to this forum post... tell your brother he's free to e-mail me, I'll answer any questions or provide any motivation to him I can.

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