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TOPIC: Puppy love is a must

 
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September 21, 2012 8:50 AM
So since I've brought up my sister a few times today I decided to seek your guys opinion on something some of my friends and I have been mulling over.


"Puppy love is what makes us ready to have a real relationship"

Puppy love or that first love you have. You know the one. That first BF/GF you had in high school. the one the sun rose and set on. the one you thought you would be with forever. That all consuming love/lust/hormones that drove you out of your mind.

The one that broke your heart.

My arguement is that we need that puppy love/heart break to help us grow up a little and be realistic in our expections of a relationship.That its a training ground for us and knocks the fairy tales out of our ears a little.

See my sisters never had that heart break, that puppy love. Your first love changes you. Also it teaches you how to treat people especially people you have a relationship with. Without having that shes never learned what it feels like when she is mean or rude to a guy. She doesnt get how sometimes thing are more than they seem.
That puppy love is important so we can grow. All relationships change you and hopefully you learn from each of them. But puppy love changes us the most.

For some reason I'm feeling very wordy today lol
  10932653
September 21, 2012 8:57 AM
I think there is some truth to this but I also think that there are exceptions. there are enough to people that marry that high school bf/gf and stay together that it's hard to say they needed the bad break up to change their expectations more towards reality. It also sounds like in the case of your sister that she never had that adjustment to reality because she is so self-centered that she wouldn't ever have that vulnerability that causes the heart ache.
  14795220
September 21, 2012 9:10 AM
Yup. I agree with this entirely.

I think a puppy love relationship can survive for a long time (probably for life), but most people will get bored and want to experience something else once they start to see what they're missing on...
September 21, 2012 9:19 AM
I agree that you need to have heartached to enjoy a happy relationship...well, maybe not "have to" but you will appreciate the relationship more. Just as, you need to know some sadness (even if just a sad movie) to appreciate happiness.....
  14497126
September 21, 2012 9:56 AM
You've gotta get through the bitter to get to the sweet
  857661
September 21, 2012 10:35 AM
I so agree with this. Puppy love helps us understand the bittersweetness of love. There are the good the bad and the heartache, but lessons learned on what we desire and learn with relationships.
  9048463
September 21, 2012 10:54 AM
Puppy love reflection is really important- if the lesson you learn is just that love=pain or that all boys/girls suck, or I can manipulate people - then you'll be set up for some disasters : (

My 7th grade love taught me that I needed to work on expressing how much I care by extending invitations and making myself available- and that I shouldn't expect him to decide/plan each time we'd see each other (relatively serious middle school relationship- lasted a year). It's interesting that this issue is not easily resolved for me, and showed up at 13.
Edited by julesboots On September 21, 2012 10:55 AM
  25275324
September 21, 2012 10:55 AM
Sigh ... I could have been with my high school sweetheart forever. He met Rene tho .. grumble I think if he came back around today I would marry him tomorrow. heart
September 21, 2012 11:08 AM
QUOTE:

Sigh ... I could have been with my high school sweetheart forever. He met Rene tho .. grumble I think if he came back around today I would marry him tomorrow. heart


I did end up marry my high school best friend who turned into my BF shortly after graduation. We were together 7 years and he is my kids fater. Now realistically we probably never should have gotten married we make much better friends than a couple. The good thing is we are friends now . I even managed to come to a decent place with his GF. But that relationship taught me so much I dont regret it
  10932653
September 21, 2012 11:43 AM
You cant appreciate the good until you have experienced the bad.
September 21, 2012 11:43 AM
I guess I will again be the odd man out in that I have never found heart break particularly beneficial. laugh
September 21, 2012 11:55 AM
QUOTE:

You cant appreciate the good until you have experienced the bad.


No, but I don't have to *personally* experience it. I can watch my coworkers marriage fall apart to realize hey, don't flirt with other guys or your husband will leave you.

I remember YEARS ago, listening to a family member go crazy on a guy. I took a note to myself: no matter how bad you are feeling, THAT approach does not work.
  15346377
September 21, 2012 12:03 PM
QUOTE:

My arguement is that we need that puppy love/heart break to help us grow up a little and be realistic in our expections of a relationship.That its a training ground for us and knocks the fairy tales out of our ears a little.

See my sisters never had that heart break, that puppy love. Your first love changes you. Also it teaches you how to treat people especially people you have a relationship with. Without having that shes never learned what it feels like when she is mean or rude to a guy.


Correlation does not imply causation.

For example, suppose she *had* experienced puppy love, and was jilted by her first boyfriend in a big way (the opposite of what actually happened). You can just as easily argue that this traumatic experience turned her against all men, and now she is taking out the lingering anger from her first boyfriend on all subsequent lovers.

--P
September 21, 2012 12:06 PM
Excuse me while I briefly hijack this puppy love thread...with puppies.

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...carry on. flowerforyou
September 21, 2012 12:37 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

My arguement is that we need that puppy love/heart break to help us grow up a little and be realistic in our expections of a relationship.That its a training ground for us and knocks the fairy tales out of our ears a little.

See my sisters never had that heart break, that puppy love. Your first love changes you. Also it teaches you how to treat people especially people you have a relationship with. Without having that shes never learned what it feels like when she is mean or rude to a guy.


Correlation does not imply causation.

For example, suppose she *had* experienced puppy love, and was jilted by her first boyfriend in a big way (the opposite of what actually happened). You can just as easily argue that this traumatic experience turned her against all men, and now she is taking out the lingering anger from her first boyfriend on all subsequent lovers.

--P


This kind of happened to me. I was devastated by my first love and closed myself off from men for a really long time, missing out on dating around in my 20's, and instead really hindering my prospects now, because I don't have that experience. I don't have anger per se, but I'm really wary of most guys' intentions.
  1576414
September 21, 2012 1:00 PM
Ahhhh puppy love. His name was Brian. I had previously dated his brother, Eric (which is when my love and lust for white boys started) for 2 weeks. Brian was quiet and more reserved but he had a naughty side. He asked me to be official while one of his neighbors played Hotel California on acoustic guitar and another neighbor sang it. Weird.

Anyway, we never officially broke up. BUT my 1st love. Omg he nearly killed me of the heartache he caused. Still hurts to this day. He was my first and only love to this day. I have never felt that way again.
Edited by La_Amazona On September 21, 2012 1:01 PM
September 21, 2012 2:42 PM
I guess it depends on your experiences. I dont really recall that much heartache from young love. My biggest heartache came 5 years ago!! That was lover No. 3!! So, for me, the heartache has got worse each time!! sad

I guess it depends on depth of feeling, where you are in life, what experiences you've had prior/during, what your coping mechanisms are like, what support you have around you..............etc

But if YOU think that your first love formed the course of your relationships, then that's all that matters. By the sounds of it your sister hasn't been in love yet?

flowerforyou
September 21, 2012 3:04 PM
QUOTE:

But if YOU think that your first love formed the course of your relationships, then that's all that matters. By the sounds of it your sister hasn't been in love yet?

flowerforyou


No my sisters hasnt been in love yet. She has barely been in lust. One of the jokes that friends of her make is that she has a very short attention span when it comes to men.
  10932653
September 21, 2012 3:14 PM
My first boyfriend annoyed me by the time I finally worked up the nerve to break up with him.
  857661
September 23, 2012 6:34 PM
I haven't had a puppy love relationship, so I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it being stated that it's a "must". I haven't had much for dating relationships either though. Maybe when I end up in a relationship it will have some puppy love to it - who knows?
September 23, 2012 6:35 PM
QUOTE:

I guess it depends on depth of feeling, where you are in life, what experiences you've had prior/during, what your coping mechanisms are like, what support you have around you..............etc

But if YOU think that your first love formed the course of your relationships, then that's all that matters. By the sounds of it your sister hasn't been in love yet?

flowerforyou


<-- I agree with this. :-)

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