Cheating is something that can never be justified, no matter the circumstances. If you're not happy,just pack up and leave...smh

It's kind of a mixed bag.

I can understand where someone who enjoys a moderately attractive lifestyle and has that with his wife for the first year or two of the marriage feels cheated when she stops doing the active things they enjoyed, puts on weight, isn't giving a damn about her appearance, and doesn't want to have sex with him.

BUT. Before you yell.... His first thought should be, "Honey, I have a doctor's appointment for you on Monday at nine am, and I'm taking off work to go with you. " Because it is not fair to blame someone for medical problems. Perhaps she turns out to be depressed, perhaps thyroid problems or adrenal problems.... that's all treatable, if she wants to get better.

But some people don't want to get better. Why, I don't know, but I've seen it happen before. Perhaps they like being the sick one that the relationship revolves around. Perhaps the medical condition is one that doesn't get better. (Like mine....it's hard to walk a lot with screws in your foot.)

At that point, I strongly support a discussion about responsible non-monogamy. True, it may blow up in his face and she'll demand a divorce, but I think in many cases it would solve the tension and let them stay together and enjoy the parts of the relationship that do work well. But she may say no, I'm not opening up our marriage and how dare you ask if I approve of you with another woman!

At that point he either puts up with the situation or gets out.

I have no patience with cheaters who haven't run through all of the above options and gotten stonewalled on every single one. And even when I concede that they may have a point.... I decided a long time ago that I don't sleep with men whose wives don't know about me. Bisexual polyamorous and kinky does not equal indiscriminate.