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TOPIC: Staying on track while partner eats whatever they want

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September 9, 2012 2:30 PM
I am blessed to have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, but am having trouble with staying on track sometimes when we are together. We plan to eventually move in together and get married and I know this will be a life long challenge. I find when I'm alone I do very well, but when we are together at home or at restaurants I struggle.
Does anyone have tips for staying on track when you are around others who are eating and or drinking things you are trying to avoid?
September 9, 2012 2:36 PM
One thing that helps is to never let anyone else build you a plate of food. There was a point in my journey last year when I finally told my STBX that he was not allowed to put food on a plate for me. He would always give me gigantic man-sized portions and it was hard to control my intake when faced with huge plates of food.

I'm sure there are many other suggestions (looking forward to hearing them) but I thought I'd start with a simple one :)
  28632299
September 9, 2012 2:43 PM
Yes Bmoremama! I had to do that recently. That's how I put on the last few pounds before I started this journey I think. Eating the same plate as a 6'2'' muscular man is not the best plan for a 5'6'' female! That has helped!
September 9, 2012 3:01 PM
Haha I so in the same boat. My husband is 6ft and he can eat all he wants without gaining.

Latelly what I've been doing is making substitutes in our meals that he fine with. I have a small plate of the meal and a large salad. That way I'm not watching him finish his huge plate with mine empty.

Also find low calorie snack that you like so that when your partner is snacking on less healthy food you still get something. (ex: 2 squares of dark chocolate, fat free greek yogurt with honey, healthy granola bars...)

I also have snacks that I allow myself to have at night while watching TV: Radishes, Cucumbers, Cauliflower... A lil salt and pepper or Mrs Dash seasonings.
September 9, 2012 3:11 PM
Who does the cooking?

If you are cooking together, try to pick meals that can have a low cal side dish, like salad or steamed veggies, then you can still have a full plate of food.

Hubby and i almost always do his n' hers , but mainly as i'm a vegggie, but it took about a month to realise i was on a diet, 'as i just made small changes to meals, like skipping a patty when we did burgers, or just eating 1/2 the bread roll,
A bit more salad here a bit less main there .
Best of luck.
  14996273
September 9, 2012 3:20 PM
Unfortunately the rest of the world will not be going on a 'diet' just because I have committed to watch my weight. My boyfriend weights 130lbs (that's even less than my goal and we are the same height) and can eat easily 2x what I can. The past 3 years I have gained 20 lbs eating pretty well what he eats - not so much a good idea. These days I do very similar to mammakisses. I make the food, and try to make some substitutions if possible. We don't eat anything low fat/ low cal here. I put what I am taking on my plate after weighing it and make sure that I always have at least salad which I eat first.

When we go out I order better choices and try to ignore his food just as I would ignore people at the next table. If I am really craving something I will have a little bite and then move on. It's hard but I know that I will be seeing people eating things I want for the rest of my life so I have to deal with it. I always have salad dressing on the side and normally will eat all my salad and any veggies on the dish before I eat anything else. Also I have found that slowing way down while eating helps a lot. I tend to eat much less because I can feel that I am full where as before I would eat so fast that by the time my brain registered the feeling I had already eaten way too much.
  26632427
November 15, 2012 6:05 AM
QUOTE:

I am blessed to have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, but am having trouble with staying on track sometimes when we are together. We plan to eventually move in together and get married and I know this will be a life long challenge. I find when I'm alone I do very well, but when we are together at home or at restaurants I struggle.
Does anyone have tips for staying on track when you are around others who are eating and or drinking things you are trying to avoid?


I am having the EXACT same problem!
  5984681
November 15, 2012 6:10 AM
I try to convince my girlfriend (who is trying to gain) to get the dish I want on the menu but can't afford calorie-wise. Then I get a bite, she gets extra calories and then I go on and eat my lower calorie meal.
  20063222
November 15, 2012 6:11 AM
My boyfriend seems to eat nonstop and never gain a pound, haha. So jealous of his metabolism. To be fair, though, he works a pretty strenuous job and works out far more often than I do.

For me, it all came down to planning. We like to go out to eat on date nights. I'd figure out where we were going first, then research the food options on the menu. Look them up on MFP (or guesstimate them to your best ability) and go from there. Sometimes if the food is too calorie-laden for me, I'll order a salad while my bf orders a main dish. I'll take a manageable portion of the main dish in exchange for some of the salad. Everybody wins. =)

When I'm over his house, it's a different story. He lives with guys, so there's always beer, dense food, and snacks. When I go over there, I make sure I have like 200 extra calories to play with. It's all about budgeting and willpower.

Oh, and his respect towards your goals helps, too. =)
Edited by jrsey86 On November 15, 2012 6:12 AM
November 15, 2012 6:11 AM
My husband is 6'2" and loves to eat. I do all the cooking and that helps. But, I have found that I can use a smaller plate and only put on it what I need for that meal. Sometimes it's hard but I don't go back for seconds. My problem is that we have 3 kids only one left at home. I am use to cooking for an army. Never knew who would bring who home with them and how many would be around for supper. But, it didn't matter I liked them there. So I tend to fix way too much for the 2 or 3 of us. Not going back for 2nds and only putting on my plate what I need has been helpful to me.
  17645816
November 15, 2012 6:13 AM
I remember this from the last time I was on Weight Watchers. It would sometimes enrage me to see how much food he was eating (he could stand to lose 30 pounds at least). I felt that I couldn't possibly stay on track with him eating like that.

I'm not sure what happened, but since early September I have been focused entirely on my own plate. It doesn't matter to me what's on his plate or how many times he refills it. If he's eating snacks and I'm tempted, I go do something else.
November 15, 2012 6:15 AM
My BF is addicted to chocolate bars. He'll pick up 2-3 and I'll buy one lindor truffle. I take bites of his candy so I don't feel I'm missing out. I've just had to develop self-control. Some days it's stronger, some days it's weaker. I do the best I can to fit it all into my calorie counts.

I decide what we're eating for dinner, so that's easy, healthy protein and a veggie. I agree with someone before me, DO NOT let him build your plate! He will give you half, when really a woman splitting something with a man the portions should be 40/60. They just have faster metabolisms (mostly! just because they're taller).

I also eat my veggies first to fill up. Then my protein.
  17571471
November 15, 2012 6:17 AM
Even though my BF is overweight too & always "talking" about how he needs to get healthy...he does absolutely nothing to do so. It's harder because he lives literally 2 blocks from Wendy's AND Popeye's smh. So when I visit him I'm always tempted to eat things I have no business eating. On one hand he'll bake chicken and veggies...on the other hand it's fast food...smh

He doesn't know how hard this is. He tries to say little things to keep me on track but its hard coming from someone who isn't practicing what he preaches. Oftentimes it comes off as him talking down to me...smh I don't know what to do. I kinda wanna tell him to put a sock in it! Lol
  5804686
November 15, 2012 6:19 AM
Bump
November 15, 2012 6:19 AM
I live with my boyfriend who is very thin and eats crazy amounts of food. Like an entire pizza, or two boxes of hamburger helper, or 10 pieces of fried chicken. He never gains weight.

It hasn;t really tempted me that much...and I don't ever lecture him. He's a grown man, he knows what he's doing. Although I do scold him for how much pepsi he drinks. I never see him drink water....just pepsi and large triple triples all day....ugh. Haha.

He is extremely supportive of me however, and very encouraging. He never offers me his junk food, but the odd time I do ask for some he hands it over without trying to guilt trip me.
Edited by stephdeeable On November 15, 2012 6:21 AM
November 15, 2012 6:19 AM
My husband is able to eat anything he wants and never gains weight. Sometimes I think that I watch him eat and I gain the weight for him! He is, however, very supportive, and generally eats (and cooks) healthy meals. It's the snacks that are the problem. He buys cakes and cookies for lunch snacks, and has a huge bowl of ice cream at night. I make sure I allow myself room for a snack as well. The 100 calorie Klondike bars work for me. That way, I don't feel so deprived. Just hang in there and keep telling yourself that "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"!
  26769716
November 15, 2012 6:21 AM
Personally, my hubby is at a healthy weight. I encourage him to exercise, but he has no reason to watch his calories, so why would that upset me? I'm the one who ate *WAY* too much food for many years, so *I* am the one that has to watch what I eat.
  25631519
November 15, 2012 6:24 AM
I'm mostly looking to maintain at this point, but my husband is very slim with a quick metabolism and needs substantially more food than I do to avoid gaining weight. Fortunately we like the same foods, so when it comes to dinner I make what I think is healthy and tasty and make sure he gets a bigger portion (it seems to be working out that he eats 1.5 to 2 times what I do).

Aside from that, when it comes to snacking, I try to pick out snacks where I can get a lot for relatively few calories (e.g., popcorn) or put higher-calorie treats like ice cream into a smaller vessel. I eat less when I serve it in a teacup than a bowl or straight from the carton.
November 15, 2012 6:25 AM
I have a very supportive OH. He's really thin, and can pretty much eat what he wants also. At first, we kept all sweets out of the house so that I wouldn't be tempted to eat it. However, over time, we've allowed more tempting foods back in. Willpower is a muscle that you have to grow and develop. Now we have Cokes and cookies in the house and there's no temptation.

Also, for dinner, we usually have the same main course, with different sides. And, I agree with never letting him make your plate. I accidentally made that mistake once and just felt bad.
  18927621
November 15, 2012 6:31 AM
Same situation everytime My husband eats he offers while knowing im trying to eat different and better it makes me soooo mad! i just am having trouble all together so im going on slimfast ;) having something like slimfast special k and diet suppliments motivates me; )
  9634307
November 15, 2012 6:35 AM
It depends on what he's eating, I guess. I have a friend who's bf eats fast food for almost every meal and its hard for her to stay on track because eating her own food makes her feel rude. I've suggested that she cook for him, but she says that he doesn't like any vegetables. So...yeah.

My boyfriend tends to eat/bake sweets, so my goal is to eat those in moderation. Last night he made a cranberry tart (which was so good), but I only had a small piece of it this morning for breakfast, and I'm about to workout. My bf also likes to eat out (we did that more when we had money), so I choose healthier options (no bread, no cheese/cream sauce, no fried foods, no dessert, etc). I hope that helps!
November 15, 2012 6:39 AM
QUOTE:

I am blessed to have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, but am having trouble with staying on track sometimes when we are together. We plan to eventually move in together and get married and I know this will be a life long challenge. I find when I'm alone I do very well, but when we are together at home or at restaurants I struggle.
Does anyone have tips for staying on track when you are around others who are eating and or drinking things you are trying to avoid?


I'm in the same boat as you are. What sucks the most is that he is always telling me what I'm supposed to do, while he does the exact opposite. It gets on my nerves more than the fact that he is a diet sabotour.
  28454581
November 15, 2012 6:45 AM

"I'm in the same boat as you are. What sucks the most is that he is always telling me what I'm supposed to do, while he does the exact opposite. It gets on my nerves more than the fact that he is a diet saboteur."


This is what I'm going through on a daily basis
Edited by 504Crystal On November 15, 2012 6:48 AM
  5804686
November 15, 2012 6:46 AM
Duplicate
Edited by 504Crystal On November 15, 2012 6:47 AM
  5804686
November 15, 2012 6:48 AM
Bump

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