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TOPIC: I feel so skinny! Now I feel fat....

 
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July 25, 2012 7:46 AM
So I've been losing weight, feeling good about myself, and have had an increase of confidence. Then an old friend of mine contacted me and wants to meet up. And now I have like 0 confidence and am trying to dodge them.

The last time they saw me I was like 30lbs lighter, and they still think I look like that...cause of course they still look good. I love how in a matter of seconds, I went from confident and feeling skinny, to just depressed and feeling fat.

Anyone else experience this?
July 25, 2012 7:48 AM
Yes I have in the past. Your friend is there for you not for your weight, be confident you are happier and healthier then you were before so don't lose confidence you are doing great.
July 25, 2012 7:49 AM
Don't stress..you're doing great and look good..you're friends like you for you.
July 25, 2012 7:58 AM
Absolutely I've been in that exact situation. A friend is a friend. Explain your struggles and new found excitement and they'll be proud of you, not mocking.
  7131933
July 25, 2012 8:01 AM
You should be proud of yourself that you are working on things!drinker
July 25, 2012 8:09 AM
I completely understand the feeling, I don't want to see anyone who saw me when I was thinner either. But you've been doing great and if nothing else its motivation to keep up the good work! :)
  25319437
July 25, 2012 8:15 AM
I think everyone dealing with weight loss has experienced this. Go see your friend! Maybe, just let them know ahead of time that they may not recognize you at first, that way they are prepared a little bit. Hopefully your friend isn't the "OMG you got fat!" kind of friend. I think we all know someone like that. Good luck and good work so far! Try not to lose confidence!flowerforyou
  26000654
July 25, 2012 8:41 AM
Thanks all - great support :-)
July 25, 2012 8:47 AM
I was feeling the same way the other day. I was feeling all good about my progress and how I was looking and now I've gone back to seeing myself the way I did before I lost what I have thus far- and this was definitely triggered by getting together with friends I don't see often. I don't have any advice for you besides 'suck it up' and your friend probably doesn't care, they likely aren't your friend because of your body... unless it's the booty call type of friend, in which case I'd say wait a couple months ;). At least it's good motivation to keep on with losing weight!
  19063342
July 25, 2012 8:50 AM
Go, smile, and be happy. You never know. They may still be skinny but could have gone bald...noway
July 25, 2012 8:51 AM
How do you know THEY look the same? Maybe they will think that you have lost TONS of weight. Or in reality they will not notice either way or will not comment.
  21189292
July 25, 2012 8:53 AM
QUOTE:

How do you know THEY look the same? Maybe they will think that you have lost TONS of weight. Or in reality they will not notice either way or will not comment.


Yep. I tend to think people remember us much differently than what we actually look like...or just have a vague recollection of us in their memory. (Depends on how long you've been away from one another.) All in all though, shouldn't matter. Friend's a friend - 30 pounds lighter or heavier. ;)
  13718134
July 25, 2012 9:05 AM
Yes, had this same thought just a little over a month ago. A good friend I hadn't seen in many years was in town and wanted to go to dinner. I'm heavier than the last time he saw me, and was worried, but went anyway. We had a good conversation, and after he sent me a message that he was happy to see I looked to be doing well. So, some of my changes seem to have come through in other ways than just my size (my parents and friends are saying similar things).

We have already planned to get together in a few months on his next trip.

So, moral of the story...go and have fun.
  16547909
August 7, 2012 8:57 PM
I loved the honesty of this post.
i have felt this too, having been fit all my life til last five years or so, and wow, it's hard for me to go see people too. I understand.
However, turns out, ppl will still repsond to my friendliness, and some ppl seem to like me better as a chubby gal.
I also bought some clothes that actually FIT me well, to help boost my confidence in situations like this one.

i wonder, how did it go? when you met your friends back in May? Were you able to get there in May, Adam?

also, i so understood, Adam, when you were describing that boost you get from getting in shape, i do! I am new here, new to getting in shape, but, i am already feeling a boost, a drive, a determination growing in me, too. Hope you did have a great visit with your friends.
August 7, 2012 9:01 PM
i think in a way we look at ourselves in the mirror and see the fat us even though we are shrinking in size, the thing to remember is that eventually it will click and you will c and appreciate the new you
August 7, 2012 9:11 PM
I was 118 two years ago, after the birth of my son ( Bunny baby), I have gain over 80lbs! And now that my baby is already 8 months old, I can no longer try to avoid my friends or family members...and yes...all of them asked me what happened to me!! But that actually finally turned into my motivation for starting my journey of losing weight (AGAIN!) and now every time i feel like giving up, i just think of their faces when the see the new me when i'm done! ( most of them think that i will never be able to get back to my old self ....)
August 7, 2012 9:23 PM
After having my daughter (3 1/2 years ago) I have gone down to my ore-preggo weight !! BUT I now have extra flab on my stomach. I want it gone !!

I did start MFP a while back then stopped. When I started back up I had gained about 7 lbs ! I'm almost down to the weight I started out at but need to figure out how to get rid of my flab !

Seeing my daughter is really motivating because she ALWAYS has so much energy when at some points I want to sleep or just rest ! I want to be able to keep up with her and she is my lil inspiration ! When I think of her, I think of getting my butt in gear !
August 7, 2012 10:03 PM
I totally feel your situation. This time last year we were about to travel to a wedding of a friend we hadn't seen in 4 years. At the wedding would be friends we hadn't seen for much longer than that. The last time they all saw me, I was slimmer, but also healthy. At the time of the wedding I was taking steroids and walking with a cane (I have 2 now).

Not only had I put on weight since seeing them last, but the steroids had bloated my face and I hated what I saw in the mirror. I was so ashamed and self conscious that I emailed the groom to explain that I looked different and didn't want to give them all a shock!!

His reply was wonderful, in that he said he knew me as Dawn, his very good friend, and regardless of what I thought I looked like, to him, and our other friends, I would always be the person they know and love for who I am. I realised that they would never judge me, and I shouldn't be so judgemental of myself to actually try to excuse my size, for fear of rebuttal.

Your friend will love and support you whatever your size, and be so very proud of what you have achieved so far xx
  24253946
August 7, 2012 10:09 PM
Same happened to me. I was at the start of my weight loss journey and old friend visited. The first thing they said when walking through the door was: "Woooow, you look even fatter now"...I just have the most delightful chums. grumble
August 7, 2012 10:15 PM
Yeah, I feel like this a lot! Especially since my family is a bunch of skinny mini athletic girls! I've just learned to say "screw it"! This is who I am right now, whether I like it or not. Whether they life it or not. Whether the media likes it or not. This is who I am and I'm currently working on changing it, there for there is nothing to be ashamed about! Be proud of your accomplishments. If they're someone who wanting to be in touch with you for you, your weight isn't going to matter. Keep your chin up! You'll lose the weight, but don't cut yourself off from people during the journey.
August 7, 2012 10:18 PM
You look great. Stop worrying!

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