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TOPIC: Called fat by a stranger.

 
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July 24, 2012 6:59 PM
To bad being stupid isn't painfull, maybe they would wisen up!
July 24, 2012 7:00 PM
I agree with everyone. It really is a result of parents not teaching their kids basic respect! I was walking to work one day, coffee in hand, and a youngster (like 16!) was driving down the ally with another girl and shouted out her window, "coffee makes you even fatter!!" I felt terrible for the whole morning. You are doing the right thing by venting and staying on task. Your goal is not far away, really! You can do it, just think one task at a time.
Kyla
  26134488
July 24, 2012 7:01 PM
Those boys need to be taken out behind the woodshed for a "attitude adjustment"!!
July 24, 2012 7:02 PM
I probably would have called him a douche.... 12 years old or not he was a douche.

Its horrible you had to go through that I am sorry to hear it, just remember you can always lose weight and be a better you chances are he will always be a douche.
Edited by WickedBean On July 24, 2012 7:03 PM
July 24, 2012 7:03 PM
That makes me sick and my heart goes out to you.People say stuff like that and they don't realize what kind of damage it does. This guy I knew from elementary school, all the way up through high school keeps trying t o add me on Facebook and I won't add him because he called me a fat pig in 7th grade. Yeah, really. I'm 25 now. I can hear his voice as clear as if he was behind me saying it again though. I'm sorry you had to go through that. F*ck those brats.
  22799257
July 24, 2012 7:03 PM
I just got called a "fattie" by a random person on OkCupid. I'm not normally apt to dating sites, but I really just kind of stared at my screen with a puzzled look on my face. I guess he was playing a sort of game with him. Luckily, he had a few flaws of his own I could pick on. And pick on, I did, indeed.

I don't believe it's right to blatantly pick on someone because of certain flaws, or not meeting certain social standards, but I do believe in self-defense, and when initiated, I feel it's right to stand up for yourself.

Try not to take the incident to heart. They most likely had self-esteem issues of their own. I feel sorry for people like that. I really do.
  17886820
July 24, 2012 7:04 PM
Too many kids without adequate supervision or discipline, too many essentially absent parents. Sorry this happened. Unfortunately, it's all too common.
  18343244
July 24, 2012 7:04 PM
Sorry you had to endure that. :/ I hate the bluntness of kids, which is why I'm never reproducing. I got called an elephant all through gradeschool and that pretty much fcked me up with people, particularly men now.
  6114119
July 24, 2012 7:05 PM
That reminds me of something I read the other day, it said something like "the same people who make fun of overweight people for eating bad, still do the same thing when they're trying to work out/change. sorry I can't whip out my magic wand and change over night."
I've always been scared of kids saying something, just because I've heard of them acting like this so often :(
But good for you for standing up for yourself. I probably wouldn't have, but he deserved to be slapped.
  21074395
July 24, 2012 7:06 PM
A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I was out with my brother and a woman (much older than me, most likely late fifties) came up to me and asked, "When's the baby due?" Now, I was about 11 or 12, so I OBVIOUSLY wasn't pregnant. I was very hurt, but I didn't know how to tell her I wasn't pregnant, so I just smiled and said, "October." My brother looked on in shock, didn't even say anything. As the lady walked on, she said to her friend, "Poor girl, she's so young!" and that just made the entire thing a lot worse for me, because she knew I shouldn't have been pregnant, but said it anyway. I still don't think she meant any harm, but it hurt a lot, and I haven't told anyone about it, neither has my brother.
July 24, 2012 7:06 PM
Kids are so cruel these days. But, it isn't just their fault...it is the parents fault too. They obviously have a couple of crappy parents. Cruel kids shouldn't stop you from having kids though.
  24357539
July 24, 2012 7:11 PM
This was a while ago, but I went to a friends house and I had never been there or met any of her family. Well her brother immediately decided he didn't like me and my friends walked in his room to talk to him and I followed and he said, "Get out you fat ***** or I'll push you out!" I didn't really think he'd be that rude so I rolled my eyes at him and started walking out slowly and he did shove me as hard as he could and I fell to the floor. I was a teenager and this guy was probably almost thirty. So of course I started crying. Their sister was just as bad calling me a stupid fat ***** as I walked out crying. So I left. Luckily that girl and I are no longer friends so I don't have to see her family anymorehappy
July 24, 2012 7:15 PM
A guy from XEROX came to my school once, years ago, to train our staff on proper use of the new copier. When we were all crowded around to see, he looked at me and said, "When are you due?" I turned red and couldn't speak. A friend said, "She's not pregnant." He apologized and I was like, "Whatever. I know I'm fat. I just had a baby 6 months ago." He goes, "Oh then that's why." Dude, shut up, you already effed up. LOL. Another friend who was much older than me and nearly 400 pounds laughed and said, "I'm not pregnant either. This is all fat." It made the guy feel terrible. He goes, "Well it's just that I've seen so many pregnant people here." One of the teachers, who was pregnant, goes, "Really? How many? Because it's just me and the school psych." LOL. Oh my goodness.... SOME PEOPLE.....

I NEVER forgot how that felt.
Because of that very moment in my life I will NEVER EVER ask a woman if she is expecting. In fact our preschool teacher was looking kind of big last winter but I kept it to myself. In about April she said something that let me know she was for sure pregnant and I said, "Oh my goodness. I didn't even know!" She looked at me like I was nuts. But really it wasn't for sure. She could have just been gaining weight.

When I was in college and about 18 years old, I went to the mall with my sister. A boy, maybe about 15 or 16 years old, came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "You're a fat, ugly B****." I was like WHAT? He repeated it. My sister told him to shut up and that he was a jerk. He ran back to his group of guy friends and a few of them high-fived him. They were all laughing and cheering. I cried and cried.

People are cruel...
Not just kids. Some people just have no filters. Others are just so clueless.
  26618006
July 24, 2012 7:17 PM
QUOTE:

I completely here you there 'lette. It's a struggle for all of us. I can tell you that the problem is not the kids but their parents. Too many "Best Friends" and not enough discipline at home! Just vent to your MFP "Family" We all understand where you're coming from.


AMEN!
  15566812
July 24, 2012 7:20 PM
QUOTE:

Im so sorry this happened to you! My mother in law calls me a "fat cow" all the time... I just take it from where its coming from. Yeah they were buttholes for saying it, I would feel more sorry for them because their parents obviously dont care about them.

Keep your chin up girl! You are 23lbs into this, and thats no easy feat!! Good job on how far you have come, and use this as ammo the next time you dont feel like working out or want to eat badly!


Holy crap your MIL sounds charming.
  15566812
July 24, 2012 7:22 PM
I've had collage kids call me a whale, and yes it hurt. I actually found the car and almost posted that they are the reason I think every woman should be allowed to have an abortion because the world would be better off without them in it. But I didn't do and I moved on.
  20634412
July 24, 2012 7:31 PM
I feel your pain. the whole reason I started trying to lose weight was because I read in a text message that my husband had wrote to his friend about how fat I've gotten in the last few months and how I'm too fat and lazy to find a new job (I'm a bar tender and where I work sucks). He's never said it to my face which is what hurt the most.and the only reason I've gained weight in the past few months was because he's in the army and we just got stationed in a small town so I was depressed and also he is such a picky eater that we often eat out because I'm basically tired of cooking to satisfy his taste buds. Sorry to vent lol, I'm just saying I know how bad being called fat hurts, just know your not alone and that you are working to improve yourself for yourself.
July 24, 2012 7:42 PM
Thankfully i've always been that big guy that can hold my own. I think my look kinda warded people away, as in potential trash talkers. No bullyin around these parts
July 24, 2012 7:56 PM
OMG! your husband said that? Teach him a lesson, lose the weight and text his friend and tell him your losing the most weight of all, your hubby!
July 24, 2012 7:58 PM
I don't know how people, kids or grown adults, can be so cruel to others and not wonder how their comments could potentially affect others. Unfortunately, some people are heartless and we have to suffer from their insensitivity and ignorance. When I was younger and at my heaviest (187 lbs at 5'2") I was out walking and some guy yells out his window "girl you need to be running not walking!" I was so embarrassed and it affected me so much that, to this day, I still refuse to exercise outdoors in daylight or go to the gym. This happened about 12 years ago. Because my self esteem was at my lowest back then, that jerk took away the little determination I had at the time to change myself.
Fast forward a few months, I got back into the swing of things, and went I went out running and I felt like I needed to slow down or stop, I thought of that jerk and kept on going. I lost 30+lbs.

Moral of the story? Let it go in one ear, out the other and turn the negative comment into something positive..
Edited by acar414 On July 24, 2012 8:03 PM
  23690539
July 24, 2012 8:12 PM
A couple of points:

1.) Not all 12 year olds are a$$holes. Just like adults, they come in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes.
2.) Not all a$$holes have bad parents. Sometimes, being around their friends is all it takes to have them doing something they know their parents would kick their butts for.
3.) How you carry yourself is half the battle. I've never once been called fat by anyone, but I think it's because of how I carry myself. No one doubts that I would respond - and likely pretty harshly - if anyone dared call me anything but "Ma'am". And no, I'm not 6'4" and scary. I'm 5'2" and very feminine. But I'm confident in who I am, and it shows in how I walk, talk, and behave. Yes, I'm fat, and I'm worth my weight in gold. I recognize this, so others recognize it, too.
4.) While I understand that you're pretty upset about the whole situation, you really are no better by blaming all 12 year olds and their parents for what two a$$hats did to you. A broad brush is a broad brush, no matter what color it's painting. I've raised four amazing individuals, each of which would have shut any friend of theirs down for doing something like what was done to you. And I've seen kids with great parents do really stupid stuff when Mom and Dad didn't happen to be around.

Good luck with your goals. You'll get there, if for no other reason than to show two little a$$holes what you're made of.

EDIT: As for the pregnant thing, I've made it a rule never to ask a woman if she's pregnant unless I see the child coming out of her womb myself. If I'm told a woman is pregnant when I wasn't sure, I always respond, "Well, I thought so, but I've learned never to ask." Women ALWAYS appreciate where I'm coming from on that one.
Edited by Merithyn On July 24, 2012 8:28 PM
  21415121
July 24, 2012 8:25 PM
People can be so cruel. No one has ever called me fat to my face but I have been asked many times if I was pregnant, which always makes my heart sink.
  26682909
July 24, 2012 8:33 PM
Sorry to hear that ! i had something happen to me today ..i have me walking / running @ this trail near my house for 4 months every mrng there is a women that joins me..today i showed her a pic of when i was over 300 pounds and u knw what she said ! wow u havent changed a bit..if anything u look heavier now !! Wtf r u serious i have lost 131 pounds..i cried but i wiped away my tears and added an extra 30 mins to my workout some ppl are cruel and dnt knw how we struggle day to day !
July 24, 2012 8:40 PM
That sucks!

It's not all kids... Just bad a** kids that need an attitude adjustment. I don't blame you for cussing them out... I would have probably done the same thing! Just don't let it get to you. F**k em... They're kids and mean nothing to you.

Keep up the great work! :-)
July 24, 2012 8:45 PM
QUOTE:

OMG! your husband said that? Teach him a lesson, lose the weight and text his friend and tell him your losing the most weight of all, your hubby!

Lol! I wanted to but since this was seriously the first ( and better be the last!) Bad thing he's eversaid or done I made him feel guilty about it for a week then forgave him. But it still hurts and I'm so self conscious around him now. I think it hurts the most because it was someone I love and expect never too speak a bad word about me especially about my flaws.

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