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TOPIC: Offended by a compliment

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July 12, 2012 7:20 AM
QUOTE:

Today, I was at Crossfit and I have progressively been lifting heavier. I joined the eat more to weigh less group and have been eating more and have gained a little over 10 lbs in the process and will "reset" for few more weeks before cutting my calories.

ANways, one of the guys at my gym (who is almost 40 and married, but super strong) commented "wow! you're getting stronger and your thighs are getting muscular.. they look like one of those Crossfit competitors!"

He absolutely meant it in the best way possibly, but as a single girl who is turning 23 next week, I don't want to be MUSCULAR. I want to burn my fat and have lean muscle but i dont want "muscular thighs." I think there is a huge difference between being tones and lean, vs muscular... i hope this makes sense.

i want to be toned and lean, but DO NOT want "muscular thighs"....

i love that i am getting stronger, but for the sake of bigger thighs makes me want to cry. I already have thunder thighs with a lot of fat especially on my inner thighs and the inner thighs and my bat wings are problem areas for me so its just a sensitive topic i guess. l am hoping and wishing that this muscle will "eat" the fat away sooner than later.

i think im rambling but hope this makes sense. i am venting and confused about this compliment... gosh i need to find a man soon LOL. Thanks for reading!


You wanting to cry over this is absolutely the dumbest thing I have heard. If you are offended by a getting told that you are looking muscular, you should re-evaluate the work out you are doing. First off, while working out you are gonna drop fat, and look more muscular, that is your bodies natural reaction to exercise. Secondly that is a pretty beast compliment. I have what are refered to by most ppl as "Tree Trunk legs" and I love it. Eat your calories work out hard and gain muscle. You will look spectacular! BTW a compliment like that coming from a man, is a VERY good thing.
July 12, 2012 7:24 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Today, I was at Crossfit and I have progressively been lifting heavier. I joined the eat more to weigh less group and have been eating more and have gained a little over 10 lbs in the process and will "reset" for few more weeks before cutting my calories.

ANways, one of the guys at my gym (who is almost 40 and married, but super strong) commented "wow! you're getting stronger and your thighs are getting muscular.. they look like one of those Crossfit competitors!"

He absolutely meant it in the best way possibly, but as a single girl who is turning 23 next week, I don't want to be MUSCULAR. I want to burn my fat and have lean muscle but i dont want "muscular thighs." I think there is a huge difference between being tones and lean, vs muscular... i hope this makes sense.

i want to be toned and lean, but DO NOT want "muscular thighs"....

i love that i am getting stronger, but for the sake of bigger thighs makes me want to cry. I already have thunder thighs with a lot of fat especially on my inner thighs and the inner thighs and my bat wings are problem areas for me so its just a sensitive topic i guess. l am hoping and wishing that this muscle will "eat" the fat away sooner than later.

i think im rambling but hope this makes sense. i am venting and confused about this compliment... gosh i need to find a man soon LOL. Thanks for reading!


You wanting to cry over this is absolutely the dumbest thing I have heard. If you are offended by a getting told that you are looking muscular, you should re-evaluate the work out you are doing. First off, while working out you are gonna drop fat, and look more muscular, that is your bodies natural reaction to exercise. Secondly that is a pretty beast compliment. I have what are refered to by most ppl as "Tree Trunk legs" and I love it. Eat your calories work out hard and gain muscle. You will look spectacular! BTW a compliment like that coming from a man, is a VERY good thing.


If you don't want to look muscular, crossfit isn't exactly the right place? Am I missing something?
July 12, 2012 8:22 AM
I Love Crossfit and started it over a year ago in hope of being building muscle, losing fat, and getting toned. I can't really control how my muscles look or are built

I guess i want this and don't mind looking like this
http://www.flixya.com/photo/1393810/muscular-women

But when someone says muscular, I imagine this...I don't want this
http://womensmuscularlegs.tumblr.com/page/2
July 12, 2012 8:24 AM
Thanks for all your replies and knocking some sense into me :). I will keep working hard and hopefully shedding some fat will reduce the size of my thighs and just get fit overall! HUGS TO EVERYONE!
July 12, 2012 8:27 AM
Let's see your legs and get another opinion. Most guys don't know now to describe muscularity on a female.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  9285851
July 12, 2012 8:29 AM
QUOTE:

I Love Crossfit and started it over a year ago in hope of being building muscle, losing fat, and getting toned. I can't really control how my muscles look or are built

I guess i want this and don't mind looking like this
http://www.flixya.com/photo/1393810/muscular-women

But when someone says muscular, I imagine this...I don't want this
http://womensmuscularlegs.tumblr.com/page/2


Even sure, those are some GLUTES! Damn!

Take the damn compliment, muscular is awesome, muscular is strong and big thighs are completely kick ass! I now find skinny jeans a nightmare, do I get upset over it, no, because I can squat over my own bodyweight. Skinny jeans can f**k off, I'd rather be awesome.
July 12, 2012 8:30 AM
The thing is - he didn't say your legs were getting BIG - he said MUSCULAR.

Different things. Perhaps he was noticing they were a better shape.

Also - there is no such thing as 'toning' muscle. There is muscle size and there is body fat %age, and various combinations give various appearances.

Toning is actually tonus, which is how tense the muscles are at rest.
July 12, 2012 8:31 AM
I think you are over reacting and taking it the wrong way.... He was trying to be nice...
  16628099
July 12, 2012 8:32 AM
QUOTE:

I Love Crossfit and started it over a year ago in hope of being building muscle, losing fat, and getting toned. I can't really control how my muscles look or are built

I guess i want this and don't mind looking like this
http://www.flixya.com/photo/1393810/muscular-women

But when someone says muscular, I imagine this...I don't want this
http://womensmuscularlegs.tumblr.com/page/2


Honestly - that stuff doesn't happen by accident...
July 12, 2012 9:00 AM
Whatever it is that he noticed, the fact remains that you are undoubtedly building up that muscle. Think of it this way....when you are doing your reset after a long period of VLCD, and you work on building muscle during your reset, your body can believe it's in a 'faux bulk' phase. Even though you aren't quite eating at surplus like a normal bulk, your body THINKS you are eating at surplus at first because your metabolism hasn't caught up yet. So in essence, FAT and MUSCLE is getting put on your body. This eventually evens out and stabilizes towards the end of your reset and you should see a stall in your weight/inches or a slight downward trend in inches. This means you are ready to cut!

When you go to cut, that LEAN muscle is going to show through as you shed the fat layer and your legs will start getting smaller. For now that guy is probably seeing a mixture of the new muscle and fat and that's ok right now. Also, as soon as you go to deficit, you WILL lose a small portion of that new muscle (comes with the territory of cut) so having a bit extra now would be a good thing! It will take several cycles of true bulking and cutting for you to end up with seriously huge muscular thighs and the beauty of that is you can CONTROL how large your thighs get!

Take the compliment as a good thing that you are building up that fat burning muscle that is going to help blast away that fat during your cut.....You're doing awesome! It'll all work out in the end!
  19520115
July 12, 2012 9:45 AM
A compliment can be taken in any way you CHOOSE to take it, if you know it was meant as a compliment take it as a positive.
July 12, 2012 10:48 AM
Fitness is sexy girl own it! Being chubby is the alternative ;)
  21648847
July 12, 2012 10:54 AM
Always try to take a compliment in the spirit it is given. If you know the person meant something positive, you should see it as positive. :)
  8315966
July 12, 2012 10:59 AM
sorry but this makes no sense to me.

you want muscle but you dont want muscle? you want to look "toned" and burn fat and you're expecting something else besides musculature to show? what exactly are you expecting to show when you burn fat, kittens and unicorns?

is no one required to take biology and anatomy classes anymore??
  12840602
July 12, 2012 8:35 PM
I would be really excited if someone complimented my legs! Or any of my muscles! You should see he meant well and honestly i would really love that if I were you.
  16473868
July 12, 2012 8:43 PM
Serious? Nobody has complimented your muscles? Who is the guy with you in the last picture, punch some sense into him.
  16526431
July 12, 2012 8:56 PM
QUOTE:

Serious? Nobody has complimented your muscles? Who is the guy with you in the last picture, punch some sense into him.

that is my husband lol
  16473868
July 12, 2012 8:57 PM
Muscular thighs are the result of lifting heavy if you don't like the results then quit crossfit, because muscular thighs are your future. Go do spin classes instead or something.
  12592401
July 12, 2012 9:09 PM
I can't wait til someone tells me I look muscular...it's going to be a long time and a lot of hard work before I hear that though.

Don't beat yourself up about "muscular" thighs. When in doubt, look at a picture of a cheerleader or a dancer...they have strong, muscular legs, but they don't look "bulky".
  1923774
July 12, 2012 9:09 PM
I would love to have muscular thighs.
July 12, 2012 10:48 PM
QUOTE:

That was a super awesome compliment you should be happy! It's not like he said your legs look fat. Muscle is the new skinny! Be proud of your hard work.


agree...
July 12, 2012 11:05 PM
I think the point everyone missed here is that "You don't want muscular thighs"..

I would suggest reevaluating your exercise routine and maybe consider doing something other than "lifting" for strength training. there are plenty of other types of exercises that will transform you legs into Lean mean muscle machines. The weight lifting may be adding the bulk that you do not want.

Consult a trainer or search online.

Good Luck! Enjoy your Health.. you're working really hard on being fit and being down on yourself is so exhausting.

:)
  23828589
July 12, 2012 11:11 PM
I can understand why you might be worried about being too muscular, but the guy at cross fit may have meant that all your hard work is paying off and you are really starting to gain muscle and lose fat, therefore the contours of the muscles are starting to show. No offence to any men reading this, but that guy just may have not realized that what he thought of as a compliment might not want to be what a girl wants to hear. NONETHELESS, it was a compliment, and surely he wouldn't have said it if you didn't look great!
July 12, 2012 11:26 PM
Aw, that's too bad you're offended. I'm very proud of my muscular legs and have only received compliments about them. I love that my calves are as thick as my thick quads. Shows all the work I put into soccer and fitness. Now, if I could only get the mid-section just as strong looking! You should be proud as well. They're testaments to the care you take of yourself. smile
  24218036
July 12, 2012 11:43 PM
I get what you mean. I hate when my mom says "I wish I had your legs, they're so muscular!" To me it makes me feel huge.
  26048864

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