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TOPIC: question for people who have been fat all their life

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July 8, 2012 10:37 PM
I want to ask you, how did you cope with it? were you always just used to it? and if you lost it all, how do you feel now?

personally, I have never known what its like to be a healthy weight. I have no clue whats under all this, ive never seen it. I roll my eyes at the term "high school skinny" because my senior year I was 310lbs! its strange. im lighter than I was in the 5th grade. (i was 265. now im 250) and i have got to say, every day is amazing. i suprise myself and look so different already. whats it like for you? weather your starting out, in between like me or already done I want to hear your story!
July 8, 2012 10:42 PM
I've always been fat all my life.
In grade ten I was 298 (and lost 50 lbs, but gained it back).

I honestly can't wait to feel healthy and feel what it's like to be a healthy weight.

I was just always used to it - I also didn't really get picked on too much either as a kid so it was easier to cope with. I grew up in a small town and everyone was friends with each other. So it never really motivated me to lose weight until I hit high school, now that I am out of high school I am taking it serious again and I hope to lose that 50lbs again plus a lot more.
July 8, 2012 10:44 PM
I guess I never really coped with it, I always knew I was unhappy, I was depressed there was one yr when I gained about 80 lbs my dr got on my moms case they were very worried but to me its like I didnt care about anything. I was sort of detached. In my family they would kind of make fun of you if you were dieting or exercising because we didnt do that, its like you were meant to be the way you are. I am still struggling in my journey so far I have lost 45 lbs, started at 265 +/- and now at 220 its hard to shake that feeling. But I feel like Im doing better now that almost all of my family knows that Im watching what I eat and started to learn to exercise. I feel very good in my skin now. Its still a work in progress but Im getting there.
July 8, 2012 10:47 PM
I've always been 'big boned'. When I was younger I was overweight. I finally lost the baby fat in junior high and high school. I think the best I've ever looked was right after high school. I had my son in my 20s so I gained all the weight back and ever since then the weight has just been piling on!

The heaviest I've ever been was when I was around 22-24 as I had been going through a divorce. I eventually lost a good deal of weight when I was 25 since I had started a job and I was on my feet all day. Ever since my weight has slowly been piling on. Currently I am at my heaviest in years and I know that I need to get my weight under control.

Personally, every time I look at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to break all the mirrors in the house. I'm so disgusted with my figure but I have accepted that I will probably never get down to my pre-pregnancy weight in my lifetime. My family is very critical so it's not uncommon for me to hear my mom tell me every day how fat I am. It's tough!
July 8, 2012 10:49 PM
I was fat ALL of my life. I weighed 10lbs more than I weigh now in 3rd grade and I was a foot shorter then. No, I was never "used" to it. I was always acutely aware of my weight, my size, my fat. I wished to be skinny, I read about dieting but never made any progress. I still FEEL like the fat girl. I am surprised every time I look into the mirror. It's funny (weird, not ha-ha) that I still feel so uncomfortable in my body. I'm still embarrassed of it, ashamed of it, etc, etc. My head realized that it is no longer horrible but my feelings have not caught up. I hope that they do, and soon. Because I have worked too hard in the last 13 months to change EVERYTHING in my life to walk around still feeling the same.
July 8, 2012 10:53 PM
Been fat all my life (though my mom says I wasn't) and grew up in a house full of athletic brothers.

I stopped looking in the mirror at some point which was probably after I went beyond the weight I said I'd never go past (went at least 30 pounds beyond that).
I finally decided things needed to change in my life and have lost 107 pounds in the last 2 years with 33 left to go.
I'm still adjusting. Still working on my self esteem, learning how to love myself, and to accept who I am and at 46 years old, it's not an easy thing to do.
July 8, 2012 10:55 PM
I was always overweight, but in high school there were plenty of other girls much bigger than me so I didn't cop much in the way of bullying for that. I was bullied more for being a pushover and a softie, which are side effects of being overweight and self conscious.

I'm only a few weeks in, so not even in between yet, but I'm enjoying thinking about what potential I might have if I can stick with it this time. I'd really love to be able to wear a dress without the jello arms and underarm fat hanging out all over the place, but mostly I want to feel strong and confident.

And I've got to say, with 60 pounds lost, you are doing SO WELL!! And your profile pic is adorable. Good luck on your continued journey!! smile
July 8, 2012 10:56 PM
I was always fat. Always the biggest girl in my class. My family kept telling me it was baby fat & I would out grow it. Yea right. I wanted to be like the skinny girls in high scholl, but I just stuffed my face instead. it wasn't easy, but I did it & I feel wonderful. I have energy. i can buy clothes at real stores, that didn't even carry fat sizes. Don't give up people. If I can do it, you can, too.
July 8, 2012 11:00 PM
I've been fat my entire life. When I was 7 yrs old, I was already almost 130 pounds. Now at 30, I'm amazed I've made it as far down as I have at 163. My highest was probably around 195. I've wasted so much of my life being the fat girl keeping all that extra weight around as a form of shelter and all it ended up being was just a visual representation of my self-loathing. I'm done with it. I've wasted this long slowly killing myself with junk food and inactivity and I'm just not gonna put up with it anymore! Best of luck to you!
July 8, 2012 11:03 PM
I was always fat, I never really handled it. It was a huge factor in my depression in high school and the root of my suicide attempt. Now my release is through working out and not looking at it as I'm fat and I have to lose all this weight, but looking at it as just a number. It doesn't determine who I am.

Although I am looking forward to my goal weight and some pretty nice bikini's haha.
July 8, 2012 11:04 PM
I haven't taken your journey, but did suffer trauma in my childhood. My experience (which I imagine has some parallels to yours, or I wouldn't be posting here) is that when something big happens to you in childhood, you obviously experience it as a child, using a child's coping skills. As you grow up, your coping skills for NEW experiences evolve, but your reactions to experiences you've lived through don't. They're frozen where they were when they occurred. So what happened to you when you were 8 will still feel the same to you, looking back, as they did then -- even though you wouldn't react the same way now. Does that make sense? -- So if you started feeling badly about your body at a young age, it's logical that it's hard for you to feel differently about yourself now -- you're feeling feelings that you've had since before you had a decent handle on other aspects of your self worth. Feelings that you've lived with for decades. Feelings that are part of your core being. It's really, really, really hard to let go of emotions that we've grown accustomed to over lifetimes.

I guess I'm just saying that it's important to love yourself. Try not to beat yourself up if you "can't" see that you're not the same "fat kid" you used to be. Try to trust the people you love when they tell you you're beautiful. Life is good. You've come a long way, and it ain't over yet!

Hope this is helpful. If I've offended in any way, I apologize.
July 8, 2012 11:04 PM
I've been overweight since 1st grade (25 years). I lost 52.5lbs with Weight Watchers in 2006 and came within 1lb of my goal weight. I went from 194.5 to 142. I felt really weird in the 140's. I had always been the fat kid and now, I weighed less than my mom or either of my sisters. So everyone joined Weight Watchers, lost weight and I became the fattest again! :) I have gained back 37 of the pounds I lost and am trying to get back to 150. I feel good there. It is a really weird thing. My husband asked if I could weigh whatever I wanted without trying, what would I weigh. I said like 145, even though that's still overweight for my height. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable as a size 2. Thanks for posting!
July 8, 2012 11:04 PM
I've been fat all my life, of the few things I remember about my childhood is my mums friends always commenting on "what a big girl" I was.

I joined weight watchers a few years ago and lost 60 pounds which brought me into the tippy toe of a normal weight range. Although I feel better for it and like being able to go into shops and generally buy what I want, the feeling of being the fat girl doesn't go and I still possess a real insecurity about myself and general feeling of being judged all the time (which all stems from not getting over those issues when I was large). I think this is why it's so important to learn to love yourself even when you are big, rather than expect your life and your view point to change when you have lost the weight. But losing the weight was def the best thing I've ever done, yes there's insecurity but also a real growth in confidence and a self-belief in myself which I never had when I was huge.
July 8, 2012 11:07 PM
I've always been overweight. I was the class clown in high school, so I didn't catch too much heat from that. Middle school was terrible.

I'm pretty happy now. My fitness goals are completely health-oriented, and I told my family that I didn't want to die a "John Candy" death.
July 8, 2012 11:12 PM
I've always been overweight. When I was a kid, I had always hoped that I would have that time in high school where I would suddenly lose weight and be "normal". Like someone else said "high school skinny" was never something I experienced. Yes, I weighed less than I do now , but I was never skinny or at a "normal" weight. I remember going to the doctor as a child and the doctor telling me I needed to lose weight. My grandma even tried bribing me with a promise of a whole new wardrobe if I could lose weight - it never happened and I would bet myself up because of it. I can't say that I have ever gotten used to it. I think it is behind some of the anxiety and depression issues I have now.
July 8, 2012 11:26 PM
FFB (Former Fat Boy) here too. I have been big my whole life, and unfortunately suffered from having parents who dismissed it as "puppy fat" and made no real attempt to make any lifestyle changes. I was never morbidly obese, but came close at about 240lbs (6' tall).

I have gone through this process never really knowing what was underneath. There has been the mental struggles - because we all fear change to some extent, even good change. I have had weak days and strong days, and I am far from my goal. Though I am finding the further along I get, the further I am from my goal.

What I mean by that is I started this process with the goal of being 'normal'. To me that was being in a healthy weight range and just not being the 'fat guy' in the room all the time. Now that I have achieved that my goals have increased. I now want to have a toned, muscular physique, and to finally see those abs that have been hiding my whole life... they are a bit like Santa, I had never seen them so not sure if they existed... tongue

This is a never-ending journey now, I now realise that, but setting periodic and attainable goals has really helped me feel like I have achieved something substantial. The best is yet to come, but with the awesome support of my friends here and MFP as a tool, nothing is impossible.
July 8, 2012 11:27 PM
I'll always be big. I'm tall and I really do have big bones. I wear a size 11 shoe. My ankles are the size of a small girl's thigh. I have lost significant weight before but I still looked big even though my percentage of body fat was within normal range. But I just don't want to always be the fattest person in the room. Even if I still look huge to others I just don't want to be so damned fat too!
July 8, 2012 11:47 PM
thanks for all the replies. i relate the the class clown in high school, because in high school, besides the fact that nobody wanted to date me, i was very loved by alot of people. middle school was like being dragged through the firey pits of hell, however. all the ridicule. ALL of it. finally i punched a boy in the face in the 8th grade and people were scared of me for a wile. but running was better than staying and taunting. (also i had a horrid goth phase) but high school was amazing. i did theatre and sang and did art, and i found a place ya know? now that i graduated im seeing who i really am. and its awesome! thank you all for sharing!
July 9, 2012 12:17 AM
Iv e been big my entire life as well. Ive never coped well with it. Mostly because i couldn't even enjoy the way I looked. So it was hard. I'm trying to loose it now though.
July 9, 2012 12:24 AM
So muh of the whole "weight loss journey" is about your mental journey, learning about yourself, changing how you view yourself, and accepting yourself flaws and all.

I was always overweight too. High school skinny for me was about 180 or something close to that. Or maybe more accurately, a size smaller than I am at the moment. My goal weight is somewhere I was in middle school, so who knows what that will look like on me as an adult.

As I am losing, I get hints on what my shape might be like. I've always had this vision of myself that I am super pear shaped with huge thighs and a big butt. Now I am not so sure if that is true anymore, so I have to update my mental vision. Right now I feel like I have made progress. But not really. It is like good news bad news. Good news: I can fit into stuff in most stores...i.e. dresses and pants. Bad news, the pants are still tight in the thigh. Good news: I look less pear and more hourglass. Bad news, I still basically have the exact same shape (and rolls) that I did when I was heavier and my arms are pretty much the same exact size, but firmer.

Some things you can do to get used to seeing the new you:
1. Try on new clothing styles you didn't/couldn't wear before. Maybe a dress or a skirt or jeans or whatever it was
2. Get a makeup counter makeover at your department store (just so when you walk out, you'll look totally different)
3. Get a proper bra fitting (Do not go near Victories Secret for this at all. Try an independent boutique with a large range of sizes or a Nordstrom). I spent about 17 years in the wrong bra size, and it makes a huge difference in how your clothes look and how you feel about yourself
4. Try to do something completely new: take a class, go to a different part of town, try a new cuisine

Experiencing new things will help you see the new you as you make your way to your goal.
Edited by jadedone On July 9, 2012 12:27 AM
July 9, 2012 12:32 AM
I think I've been chubby all my life. I'm 5'5 and the lowest I can remember being was 140lbs my senior year in high school & while that might seem like it should b small to some people, it wasn't to me. I'm small framed, so I still had a gut at tht weight even though I was a healthy weight. But I was chubbier than that from like 4th grade up. I just lost weight in high school when I joined band cuz I was on my feet a lot.
I wasn't always just used to it. I got picked on & made fun in high school, but I never got used to it. It always hurt. I never had a boyfriend in high school. Everyone I ever liked rejected me. When I was that 140lbs, a girl asked me if I was pregnant. I will NEVER forget how that made me feel.
I'm 134.6lbs now, smaller than I have ever been, but I still feel fat & tht I look pregnant. I hope to get there one day soon & be able to feel thin & better ab myself.
Edited by shorty35565 On July 9, 2012 12:33 AM
July 9, 2012 12:34 AM
I've also been fat my entire life. Not huuuuge, but.. bigger than everyone else.

I just got used to it. I was never really bullied at school for my weight but I've had confidence issues for so long now. I want to be able to wear bikinis and skimpy clothing and leave the house without worrying whether I look fat in this.
July 9, 2012 12:40 AM
I've been overweight my entire life. When I was really young, I didn't even realize that I was fat. Weight and appearance weren't things that I cared about - I was busy having fun and being a kid. And then I entered middle school and suddenly both of those things became a huge deal. I was teased relentlessly and went from loving school to pretending that I was sick, just so I wouldn't have to face the other kids at school. I missed out on a lot as a teenager because I let it get under my skin. I dealt with horrible self-esteem issues that I still struggle with today. Hopefully that changes when I lose the weight.

I weighed myself this morning and had to laugh though. I weigh less now (at 21) than I did in middle school.
July 9, 2012 12:49 AM

I guess I never really coped with it, I always knew I was unhappy, I was depressed there was one yr when I gained about 80 lbs my dr got on my moms case they were very worried but to me its like I didnt care about anything. I was sort of detached. In my family they would kind of make fun of you if you were dieting or exercising because we didnt do that, its like you were meant to be the way you are. I am still struggling in my journey so far I have lost 45 lbs, started at 265 +/- and now at 220 its hard to shake that feeling. But I feel like Im doing better now that almost all of my family knows that Im watching what I eat and started to learn to exercise. I feel very good in my skin now. Its still a work in progress but Im getting there.

Oh wow. Good for you for deviating from what you knew. I hope your family sees the changes you make and decide to follow in your footsteps.
July 9, 2012 1:08 AM
I've struggled with being overweight for as long as I could remember. I have huge insecurity issues since aside from my weight, I was also struggling with acne and I have dark skin (in my country, looking Caucasian equates to beauty). I never dated and was always the "funny girl". I think when you don't really like how you look, you do your best to make people laugh and like you in hopes that you will like yourself a bit. It's twisted but I have this mentality that though I may not be the pretty girl, I was funny and smart. And well, I was hung up on the idea that those 2 mattered most. Somebody would eventually see that and see the beautiful person I am on the inside. Sadly, reality is far from that. cry

I could never relate to married moms who would say, "When I was younger I weighed less than 100 pounds!" or "I used to have a 24-inch waistline" or "I used to always rock a 2-piece bikini!" Then they look at me, and expect me to say something similar. embarassed

Anyways, I came across this quote that struck me big time.

Suddenly, it hit me. I can gripe and whine all I want and nothing will change. Or I could take charge of my life and be the person I want to become. I know its not rocket science but for me, it wasn't easy. I was caught up in the idea that people shouldn't judge me. But the truth was, I was also judging myself.

I'm now 26. I want to go through the next half of my life being fit, healthy, and pretty. I'm tired of making excuses for myself. I'm starting to love myself and accept myself more. Nobody else has the power over it, except me (of course, aside from God). I still have a long way to go - in terms of nutrition, exercise and motivation. But I'm getting there. I'm being the person I was meant to be. flowerforyou


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