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TOPIC: Too embarrassed to wear a Swimsuit...

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July 4, 2012 4:16 PM
So my friends have been asking me to go swimming to the lake with them.. and i keep saying no, because I dont feel comfortable being there in a swimsuit, with my (35 pound overweight) skin showing.

I've been overweight since i was about 12, and once my dad as a joke made me get on a scale in front of people we had over at our house, and i got really upset and started crying.. and they just kinda laughed at it.. and now im still very conscious about my weight.

I know i could wear a shirt and shorts but all my friends are thin.. so it would be weird around them, wearing that... and they are not my super close friends.. so i cant really tell them about it... so instead i just dont go...

I know there are a lot of people that are bigger then me and are ok with it.. but i just feel like everyone just gonna judge me, how i look and laugh at me..
Im just like almost scared of it...

Does anyone else feel this way?
What can i do?
Edited by Lilie555 On July 4, 2012 4:17 PM
July 4, 2012 4:20 PM
I feel this way too. I am not wearing a bathing suit until I have further progress made with my body.

:(
  20677253
July 4, 2012 4:22 PM
The idea of wearing a bikini or swimsuit is enough to give me nightmares.

It's something I REALLY wanna do eventually though, but for now, I avoid it like the plague.
July 4, 2012 4:23 PM
I feel ya. I've never owned a bathing suit in my life. I wish I could not care, and just "have fun" and not worry about what people think. But, I can't. You could always buy a one piece, and get some cute swim shorts (like the hawaiian print) and put them over it, that way you still can sort of look like you're ready to swim! :)
  13478773
July 4, 2012 4:28 PM
Board shorts and a tankini underneath. Seriously, still feels like you are wearing clothes and no one questions it.
July 4, 2012 4:29 PM
I have struggled with this my entire life. So listen to me. Go and have fun. You are not what you look like in a bathing suit. Your weight does not define who you are or what you will become. I can remember a million times where my insecurities kept me from enjoying myself. I decided when I was 25 that what everyone else thought really didn't matter. I found the strength to flip everyone else off and waddle my fat rear onto the beach in a two piece bathing suit. I never looked back. You will be a million times happier if you accept yourself. You can wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt or an adorable one piece bathing suit to the lake. Go buy you a new suit. I'm a mom of two and a self proclaimed fashionista so I don't wear anything other than adorable one piece suits with a low cleavage line :)

Go live life!! And if anyone gives you grief, well, flip 'em off.
  25022267
July 4, 2012 4:29 PM
When I was your age I was really self conscious about wearing a suit as well. I've come to a point in my life where I realize that people might judge you, but that's their loss because they're judging you based on your appearance, not who you are on the inside, and 95% of the time they will keep it to themselves anyway.

Plus, most people are concerned with their own kids or their own tan, too much to care about what the people around them look like...

So now, (and I'm still a bit overweight) I say screw it. Anyone who wants to judge me can piss off! I'm wearing bikinis now, I'm damn proud of my progress. Nobody can take that away from me with worthless words.. :)
  6875504
July 4, 2012 4:30 PM
They are your friends! They'll love you no matter what if they are truly your friends. Girl I'm very heavy and I wear board shorts with a bathing suit....I either would wear like the tankini type tops with the longer (mens) board shorts....or if you would rather you could wear the shorts a sports bra and a tank? There are many options. Don't lose out on the good time because you're worried about getting wet in front of your friends. Once you get out there and start laughing you'll forget you were ever self conscience.

I am very self conscience about myself and I try to always dress weight appropriate but I love water I love the beach, pool, lake, rivers...whatever that I will compromise. Enjoy life...it's too short for regrets!

Plus when you get to your goal weight you'll feel even better about putting on that swim suit!!!

Best of luck!!!
July 4, 2012 4:31 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I used to cover myself with some spandex cycling shorts and then wore a swimsuit over it. I was ok in it I suppose but I figured that the more I covered myself the bigger I looked. Being pear shaped doesn't help, beause I have a big butt and big thighs which makes it even harder. But I gathered up the courage to just wear a swimsuit and that is all. And wouldn't you know it, nobody looked at me. I weigh 210lbs so I am quite a big lady but at the end of the day, I'm here to swim and have a nice workout, to my surprise I actually got checked out bu a few guys and got asked for my number.

Looking at your picture, you're such a pretty girl and shouldn't be ashamed. You're gonna slim down someday so why not have fun while you're at it?

Best of luck sweets xxx
  1768435
July 4, 2012 4:34 PM
QUOTE:

I have struggled with this my entire life. So listen to me. Go and have fun. You are not what you look like in a bathing suit. Your weight does not define who you are or what you will become. I can remember a million times where my insecurities kept me from enjoying myself. I decided when I was 25 that what everyone else thought really didn't matter. I found the strength to flip everyone else off and waddle my fat rear onto the beach in a two piece bathing suit. I never looked back. You will be a million times happier if you accept yourself. You can wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt or an adorable one piece bathing suit to the lake. Go buy you a new suit. I'm a mom of two and a self proclaimed fashionista so I don't wear anything other than adorable one piece suits with a low cleavage line :)

Go live life!! And if anyone gives you grief, well, flip 'em off.



I can't say it better. I recall feeling the same way about myself and I WAS thin and beautiful. Your self perception is truly the issue and only you can change that or you could wind up feeling the same way 35 pounds from now. You are you, beautiful, perfectly imperfect you! You are NOT what you think you look like in your bathing suit :)
  14115436
July 4, 2012 4:39 PM
Try finding a suit you like, a tankini is great if you want to show less skin. I have an old lady "hold everything in" suit. I wore it at a time share and was REALLY self-conscious about people seeing my legs, but it really isn't as bad once you start focusing on why you are really there - to swim and have fun.
July 4, 2012 4:41 PM
QUOTE:


I've been overweight since i was about 12, and once my dad as a joke made me get on a scale in front of people we had over at our house, and i got really upset and started crying.. and they just kinda laughed at it.. and now im still very conscious about my weight.




Wow, that is unbelievably cruel for a dad to do to his daughter. No wonder you're too embarrassed, you're probably afraid you'll feel like that 12 year old girl again.

I want to encourage you to go out with your friends and have a great time, but sometimes that's easier said than done, but hun do what ever feels right.
  21249
July 4, 2012 4:42 PM
I dont like how I look in a bathing suit....but I need the exercise, so I deal. By next year at this time, I will be pretty happy wearing a bathing suit, so I look at it as just another step along the road to my weight loss goal.

I have been overweight most of my life and I STILL got in a bathing suit and went swimming with other people. Dont give up on fun and something that is good for your body.
Edited by Crochetluvr On July 4, 2012 4:43 PM
  23159244
July 4, 2012 4:45 PM
i feel this way. i dont like to show off my moobs. my goal is to lose them and then i will walk aroind toess in the southern california sun but not until i have the confidence and about another 40 lbs off my frame. that is of course assuming the weight does shrink my moobs
July 4, 2012 4:45 PM
I don't even wear shorts above the knees in public!
July 4, 2012 4:49 PM
You can buy really cute "swim dresses" it covers you up more then a tight fitting bathing suit. Check out walmart.. My suggestion is to go to the lake with your friends, you don't want to look back and regret it. Guaranteed you are not the only one at the back with an extra couple pounds :)
July 4, 2012 4:50 PM
QUOTE:

I feel ya. I've never owned a bathing suit in my life. I wish I could not care, and just "have fun" and not worry about what people think. But, I can't. You could always buy a one piece, and get some cute swim shorts (like the hawaiian print) and put them over it, that way you still can sort of look like you're ready to swim! :)


Thats a good idea! I like it. thanks. :)
July 4, 2012 4:51 PM
I was one of those flabby, manatee-looking guys who didn't give a care one second what anybody said or thought.
And one day a friend of my son asked me to demonstrate a back flip off the diving board.
SURE!smokin
I got up there, bounced and jiggled, then up, over and away in a half flip that ended in a belly buster, but hey, not bad for a guy pushing 300lbs.
Well, what I did NOT know was that it was all a set up.
They had me up on YouTube in a video titled "Fat Guy Dive Fail" laugh laugh laugh
Some here might have even seen it.
I saw it and could not believe how fat I was. I was HUGE!
Everybody in the community and the world got a big laugh at my expense.
Well, they are not laughing now!
I lost over 75lbs and am rock solid and in near peak condition once again.
No more "Fat Guy Dive Fail"
My point is this.
People laugh and make fun of fat people.
That's reality.
Edited by Bobby_Clerici On July 4, 2012 5:01 PM
July 4, 2012 4:53 PM
Let me tell you something.

Please don't let your appearance stop you from having fun! I know it hurts to hear what others have to say about your weight and I understand your embarrassed but just go swim an have some fun anyway! Keep in mind that weight can be lost! Your still a great person and I'm sure they have their own flaws that they feel insecure about. Skinny or not!

I'm still very embarrassed to wear a swimsuit. I've never felt okay with my body even when I was 103lbs and a size zero! It's pathetic actually. I said no to going out and swimming all the time because I was so insecure with myself and I didnt want anyone to say anything cruel! I'm about a size 2-3 now and I still feel unhappy with how I look in a swim suit. I remember I got mad at my family because they all wanted to go swimming and I felt compelled to say no. ): luckily, my moms friend convinced me to come. Now I've gone swimming almost everyday! It's fun and I would hate to let my stupid weight get in the way of it!
So please, don't do the same thing I've done. It will make you miserable.
Go out with a smile on your face and fake it till you make it baby!
  13677300
July 4, 2012 4:53 PM
You're missing out on something you want to do. Isn't that why you're losing weight in the first place -- to stop missing out on the things you want? Don't wait until you're 100% "done" to live your life.
That said, even über-fit women have swimsuit anxiety. You can get swim shorts that are obviously intended as swimwear, and pair them with a tank top. That's what I do (found mine at WalMart), because I don't want my kid missing out on play time at the pool because her mom doesn't want to wear a swimsuit in public. And you know what? There are larger ladies in swimsuits there, and smaller ladies in shorts & a t-shirt, so I fit right in wearing my in-between outfit.
July 4, 2012 4:55 PM
QUOTE:

I don't even wear shorts above the knees in public!


Me too!
July 4, 2012 4:55 PM
I feel horrible about what your family did to you as a kid. I would have been so upset. :(

But yeah, I feel self conscious in most swimsuits, which is why I only wear swimdresses. They cover my thighs and mask my stomach and everything I don't like. It still gets me down when I am swimming with my good looking and thin friends in their bikinis but oh well, I may join them some time. :P
  18795842
July 4, 2012 5:00 PM
QUOTE:

I've been overweight since i was about 12, and once my dad as a joke made me get on a scale in front of people we had over at our house, and i got really upset and started crying.. and they just kinda laughed at it.. and now im still very conscious about my weight.

Your Dad is totally a jerk & is to be blamed entirely here. I'm sorry that you have to experience that humiliation.

I agree with the tankini, I had one before that I wore when I was still obese that is paired with a board shorts. In that way you can still look good & trendy.
  8336780
July 4, 2012 5:02 PM
Use that to fuel your motivation and be a goal for next summer.
July 4, 2012 5:08 PM
You are not alone. But you cannot hide from life. You should try to enjoy yourself!

Tankinis are great but it's hard to find one with tummy control. This year I switched to a one piece so I could get a slender suit. I've actually gotten compliments on it! Fits very well and lots of coverage.

This is the suit: http://m.landsend.com/mt/www.landsend.com/pp/womens-tonal-ombre-tunic-one-piece-slender-suit~231575_-1.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::VA1&CM_MERCH=search-_-Ombre&origin=search
  7246266

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