Message Boards » Motivation and Support

TOPIC: My mom think MFP is annoying...

1 3 Next »
1 3 Next »
 
Ic_disabled_photos
Topic has been inactive for 30 days or more and images have been disabled.
Display All Images
July 2, 2012 2:49 PM
Keep doing what your doing! There will always be haters,plan and simple as that =)
July 2, 2012 2:51 PM
Ive been on mfp for a year and a half now. Seriously just this weekend my mom finally told me she was glad I was taking charge of my health and that more of the family should do it too. Before this all I heard about was how I was obsessed and always did everything all or none and couldnt just get a good balance on things, or how I was getting "too skinny" and "I should just eat something and not worry about it." You keep doing what you are doing. Dont worry about them they will only make you think that trying to take control of your health is wrong, sooner or later they will see.

keep it up!!
  2762399
July 2, 2012 2:52 PM
My mom used to hide junk food from me when i was growing up, making it worse of course. Recently I had to live with her for a few mts, while my house was being moved, and I didnt dare go on a diet/healthy eating plan while I was there. Why??? Cuz she would be looking over my shoulder ever second pointing at every food item and showing me their values. Then she would tell me to work out...sooo annoying. Then she turns around and blames herself for me being fat growing up because of feeding us unhealthy meals and soda. ..UGH!!! I love my mom but I dont dare talk to her about dieting. She is not one I go to for support!!! I love MFP..this is what works for me!!!
  5246389
July 2, 2012 2:53 PM
Jealousy and insecurity at it's finest.
July 2, 2012 2:53 PM
Agreed. The less you mention that you are paying attention to your calories, the better.
If she asks if you want a 2nd helping of something, say you are full instead of "no, that will put me over on calories." Instead of saying, "i better eat a salad so I make my goal today", just say that you are craving a salad.
Good luck! Congratulations on your weight loss so far.
  8991460
July 2, 2012 2:54 PM
This is an interesting topic. I say, just keep doing it.

I don't talk about it at all with most people. However, if I am out, and someone brings up dieting and losing weight, I'll usually share what I do. I have turned quite a lot of people onto this site. But because I never push it and never log in front of other people, no one sees it as an annoyance. If I go out to eat with people, I'll wait until I get home to log my food.
July 2, 2012 2:56 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Hmmm. Families are funny. You might be playing the role of the "heavy girl" in your family. So your mom might just find the focus on MFP annoying, AND it might be that she doesn't want things to change.

So, I would say, do what you need to do, don't hide it, but don't call attention to it either. You probably want her to share your enthusiasm, but for some odd reason (guilt, embarrassment), your mom isn't ready to do that.

Good luck, and the great thing about MFP is that you can find people who DO share your enthusiasm. Go for it! You're doing great so far, and you'll keep going : )


^^ I agree with this person. I have the same issue with my best friend, but opposite. She wants me to stay fat with her. She is heavier than me, we started trying to lose weight together, then she started getting upset I was loosing and she wasn't. I ended up just not talking about weight loss and MFP around her, she ended up stopping completely, so now I have no exercise/diet partner. I'm still friends with her, but not as close, just made her mad this week, cause she asked me to have dinner. I told her I had Zumba class and can have dinner with her afterwards. She just got pissy and said No offense but I don't want to eat that late.

So yea I feel ya



I can relate to all of you as well. I have had similar experiences as well. I have even been "THE FAT FRIEND" who wasn't real supportive and thought..."Oh she'll give up and gain weight and be my fat friend again".....and when that didn't happen and I saw how serious my friend and my sister were and the accomplishments they made...that's what triggered me to REALLY WANT IT FOR MYSELF. I have the drive and determination now and I am well on my way to my goal...120 days+ has been a great GREAT journey so far. ....Please keep yourself first but if it bothers her just don't log in front of her.

KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK hun!
  18447478
July 2, 2012 2:59 PM
She doesn't know how to support you. That's pretty much the bottom line. I've DEFINATELY been there!!!

She may not understand the effort it takes to do what you are trying to do, or she may subconciously resent you a little for trying to loose weight if she feels she needs to loose a little too. If she does, she probably feels a little guilty too, since she must want what's best for you over all.

It could be a mix of both.

Also- it may sound silly, but to some people, they simply find it insulting to question their meals. They feel like you are "screening" their food and their choices, and who likes to be judged?

I think you should try to have a short, but honest conversation with her, covering the fact that you are doing this for your health, and you know she's aware that you need to loose weight.

Tell her that you need her support to be successful, and to not take it as an insult if you are "calculating" her food. It's not about her, it's about you, and what you need to take on this gauntlet.

Loosing weight is H-A-R-D, because it's 80% MENTAL. You have to stay in control of your thoughts, ingore negative people, and focus on motivating yourself.

If she still doesn't understand, maybe try cooking some of your own meals, or offer to cook dinner for everyone now and then, so you can control what goes into those meals.

If she's anything like my father was, you may want to ask her to show you some of her recipies, and try out new options with her, so she's involved.

Also, if she cooks with certain things a lot, why not research the nutritional value of the items, and add them in and just check them off, updating the portions, so you don't always "appear" to be calculating everything.



I think it's GREAT that you took charge of your life, and 6lbs is AWESOME!
July 2, 2012 3:01 PM
ahhh yes! People dont think I lose weight the right way... watch what I eat and exercise. For some reason if I am not taking a magic pill, shake or diet plan, its all wrong! GRRR... I feel ya!
July 2, 2012 3:02 PM
Misery loves company...I'm betting that your mom isn't super fit, right? Most of the people in my life have come to realize/accept that I am really into MFP and being healthy in general....if they don't like it, they can take a hike because nobody is going to stop me. I don't care if I annoy them or not. I don't try to sell them my way of life anymore though even though I would love for them to join me. I find that anything dealing with hard work and lack of a quick fix falls on deaf ears anyways. My mom can see me dropping tons of weight by eating right and exercising yet she still talks about doing stupid fad diet....I mean, really? THIS IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY LIFE (depending on your religion, lol!)...DO YOU! Don't worry about her views about this...keep on logging and doing right for yourself. If her nagging you is really getting to you, log in private. Or even better, sit her down and tell what this means to you. If she loves you and wants the best for you, she should support you!
  4192509
July 2, 2012 3:07 PM
People who don't understand the healthy lifestyle and why you are doing what you are doing can be 'annoyed' by your devotion and focus. They just don't get it, so to them it's pointless and a waste of time. My mom used to say I was 'obsessed' with working out and logging into MFP, and I'm about to turn 39 years old and my mom lives in a different state for crying out loud! LOL She just didnt get it.

Now that I've hit my goal and am feeling so much healthier, have more energy and look great in my clothes, she is now motivated and inspired. She wants to start working out, join a gym and eat healthier. Now she gets it. Maybe yours will and maybe she won't. Just keep doing you! If she can't share in your journey, keep it to yourself and those that can relate.

Best wishes.
  19616200
July 2, 2012 3:08 PM
losing weight and being obsessed with being healthy is not necessarily a bad thing, you could do much worse! try not to let it get to you, try to not talk to her about it. when you reach your goals and she sees how good you look and feel, then will she think that all that hard work was for nothing? i think not!
  2252968
July 2, 2012 3:15 PM
My husband is a very large man. His mom is always on him about his weight. In one move she will say danny you have to lose weight...have another piece of my lasagna! She is torn because she wants him to lose weight, but she knows that he loves her cooking and that makes her feel good. If he does not have seconds she wants to know what is wrong with her cooking. We devised a scheme. For your first plate take half of what you normally would, then the same again for your second plate. This way we all have seconds and let her know how much we appreciate her cooking and love that she shows through cooking. But we keep the portions in check. Maybe your mom gets validation from you liking her cooking too and a similar strategy could help you. We also do not log calories in front of her or talk much about what we are doing to lose weight.
  11101105
July 2, 2012 3:16 PM
QUOTE:

Ive lost about 6lbs so far. I am trying to lose it slow and make sure that Im am burning fat and not water weight. Anyway, I calculate all my food everyday and today I was calculating some homemade meals for dinner. She comes up to me and says "Do you have to calculate everything? Its so annoying. Why do you count calories?". I told her that it is because I am trying to lose weight and MFP is the only thing that has worked so far. She doesnt like me counting cals, but as soon as I gain the weight back she complains to my family that Im too fat and that I am not losing enough weight. Its so contradicting. I dont understand why she thinks MFP is annoying, but as soon as I gain weight she is telling others how fat Im getting and how my body is not thin enough!! Do you'll deal with similar situations? What should I do? Should I not talk about weightloss around her?


I would bet that you counting your calories makes your mom hyper-aware that she's *not* counting calories, and that might make her feel insecure, that you're gaining control over your food situation while maybe she isn't. It could also be simply an attempt to control you, period. Either way, not good, and just try to ignore it. Easier said, I know. Best of luck!
  2433308
July 2, 2012 3:30 PM
Families can be so odd, like someone else said, they can't handle change. They see you as the fat girl in the family and they can't handle when you want to be someone else, yet in still they've been hounding you your whole life to lose weight. especially with old chest nuts like "You'd be so pretty if you lose weight." Ok maybe that's just me but whatever lol.

Either way, your mother should NOT be telling people how "fat" you are. That is beyond rude and it shows extreme disrespect for your feelings and as her daughter. The fact that she does that may be that she's trying to put more blame on you for your weight situation to displace the feelings of guilt she may have your situation. I'm just guessing of course but i think you should talk to her about telling people about your weight. It's so unhelpful and I imagine very hurtful. If your mom is supporting you, you'll find tons of support here!

Reply

Message Boards » Motivation and Support

Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.