Ok so now I have a list of reasons I want to lose weight...reasons which don't involve anyone but myself.


To be healthy
So I can wear the clothes that don't fit me anymore
To feel more energetic
To raise my chances of getting pregnant
To reduce chances of PCOS, diabetes, and lower my cholesterol levels
To be able to run a marathon
So that I don't get tired when wearing heels
To explore new types of healthy food
So it gets easier to ride a bike
To look better in photos
To have more fun doing zumba classes

I had to filter out things like "to look better in my wedding dress" ...because I've realised I already look great in my wedding dress, my mother wants me to lose weight so that it looks better, but I'm actually perfectly happy with the way it is. :)

Now I just have to internalise them.

But I still feel that if I lose weight, I'm going to get REALLY angry at my mother if she starts passing comments about how much better I look after losing weight. It's quite an obstacle.

This is such a great start!! If your mom starts to give you comments about you looking good because you lost weight, accept it. Say thank you, I've been working hard to better myself. Just think of it as any other compliment you will get from others.

Agree !!

This is my mum. She's never given emotional support, but she's always been there practically, and done things for us to show that she cares. I try and think about that instead of being angry, but sometimes it's hard when you read interviews with famous (or regular) people talking about how close they are to their mum and what an inspiration their mum is. It's hard not being able to go to your mum with problems. My mum is the same as everyone else's - I always felt compared to my thinner, prettier sister and that's stayed with me. I can only second an earlier suggestion of counselling - it's helped me SO much it's untrue.

Your list is amazing!!! Each one of these is a great reason to get out of bed each morning and love yourself and life! I have the same mom situation and it's fustrating, definitely psychological warfare.... :) It is exhausting and for me I just turned to food. Every day focus on one of the things on your list and make choices to move the mark for YOU! And when you have your own little one's pass on the confidence and healthy living that you discovered through this journey. Keep up the great work!!! :)

What if ur mom gave u all the chocolates u wanted and thought u were beautifull no matter what ? How would that help anyway ? No one knows how it would had been the other way arround, the only thing we do is expeculate

Sadly this is easier said than done for a lot of people - for me it's needed counselling, and I still struggle sometimes.

I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. You need to have that moment where you realize that you need to live your life for you, that you are responsible for your own destiny, and that parents will always be critical. I had a talk with my daughter who is 9. I told her that it's important to make good choices when it comes to her health. I did used myself as an example of how it's harder at my age, and after I put on over 100lbs to lose the weight. I've encouraged her to be active in sports, and to choose healthy options when it comes to food. I think we have a great relationship. She's my best friend, and the best shopping buddy I've ever had. We go to the Y three days a week together for Family Zumba and swimming. I don't want her to have the problems that I've had throughout my life, and I'm trying the most positive approach that I can think of.

Parents bring us up, and gaves us the genes, so its just normal that we put some blames on our personalitys and choises on them...But, we can´t think of them as the only ones that educate us when there is an entire society that also did. Its very interesting to hear both sides of the opinions expressed here :)

Brought us up * and sorry for other misspellings

True, there is a whole society that influences us, but in reality no one influences us more than our parents. I've matured and grown enough to not care about society's expectations of me, because society's full of different people with different values and backgrounds. But my mother is the person who loved me and took care of me. She was my role model growing up, she helped me grow from a baby into a girl, into a woman. I am aware of how society influenced me as well. But detatching yourself from your mother (or father) is an incredibly difficult task which needs to be done at some point in our lives.


I'm surprised so many people are going through the same situation. I'm glad I brought this up on MFP. You're all so supportive, and I hope this helps other people to become aware of their influences