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TOPIC: 12 year old wants his ears pierced.

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May 29, 2012 10:27 AM
Sigh. So .. opinions? My 12 year old son wants to get his ears pierced. I was his age when I got mine done .. does it matter any more if it is boys or girls? I just don't know. I keep going back and forth on it. I would love some opinions. Is this something that falls under the personal style part of a kid today .. or is it still the punk kid gets his ears pierced. Thoughts?
May 29, 2012 10:31 AM
I don't see an issue with it. c:
May 29, 2012 10:31 AM
Haven't encountered this with my boys. I think I'd be super conservative about permanent changes. But let him go crazy with hair.
May 29, 2012 10:32 AM
I told him that when he can walk in and do it on his own to have at it .. but he is not going down without a fight .. lol. I just don't know if I am being rediculous.
May 29, 2012 10:36 AM
Let him do it... I have alot of guy friends that went and had it done... Couple of months later they get bored and take them out .... Earing arent a big deal anymore....but dont let him gauge them until hes older if he chooses to
  10932653
May 29, 2012 10:36 AM
I think I wouldn't be happy either, it is actually almost permanent, which means to me he should be older and more mature to get them done. Not sure how I'd handle it though. Good luck!
  9458877
May 29, 2012 10:43 AM
Just tell him he'll look cute with earrings. He may not want them anymore. (Like Jen said, I doubt he'd want them a few months from now. I'd say no if it was me, but I just finished reading the "How do you know you're old" thread in chit chat and am feeling really old and lame at the moment.)
May 29, 2012 10:43 AM
It's a miniscule little hole in his ear that may or may not close up. It's not something he's going to look back on when he's thirty and sigh over about what a horrible mistake he made.

That being said if you don't necessarily support it, then tell him that when he's old enough to go in on his own and when he saves up his own money to do it that he can.
  857661
May 29, 2012 10:44 AM
QUOTE:

Just tell him he'll look cute with earrings. He may not want them anymore. (Like Jen said, I doubt he'd want them a few months from now. I'd say no if it was me, but I just finished reading the "How do you know you're old" thread in chit chat and am feeling really old and lame at the moment.)


Haha .. that is what my thought is .. am I just being old and lame like my parents were???
May 29, 2012 10:47 AM
That's a tough one. My ex-husband let my 16 year old get her nose pierced w/o even asking me. I went through the roof. She had it for about 6 months and ended up taking it out. There are way worse things he could want to do. At least piercings aren't permanent.
May 29, 2012 10:51 AM
You're his mother. If you're having doubts, I'd say wait a bit. You may become more comfortable about the idea, and he may change his mind. It's easy for strangers to tell you to just let him do it.

My dad refused to let me do a lot of things when I was younger on the basis that if would reflect poorly on him as a parent. As an adult, I realize he was right about some of them and wrong about others. But you're the only one who can say, without the benefit of hindsight, what is the best thing for your child right now.
Edited by ItsCasey On May 29, 2012 11:18 AM
  517622
May 29, 2012 11:02 AM
I bargain with my kids...Just the youngest now. He wanted to color his hair black...I told him as long as his grades were good and he didnt start hiding in his room, i would let him. If his grades went down, I shave his head and we start at square one.
May 29, 2012 11:09 AM
When I was somewhere around 8 vanilla ice was ultra popular. All of us wanted to be like him and get the fade haircut and an earring. I wasn't allowed the earring and I was probably extremely mad at my mom. A few months later I couldn't care less.
I'm sure it's just a phase and will pass. That being said, looking back I don't think getting it done it would've affected me one way or another, an earring really isn't a big deal in my mind.
Edited by solman66 On May 29, 2012 11:10 AM
May 29, 2012 11:11 AM
He's 12, not even a teenager. He doesn't make the decisions yet. YOU ARE THE PARENT/ADULT! You should make the decisions for him at this age.

My brother "gave in" to his oldest sons demand when he was a youngen and always thought - what's the big deal? Well, 8 years later, after the kid dropped out of school, been arrested, OD'd twice due to drugs, ran out on the home, stole money and a car from his own father...my brother looked back and told me "I should have just said NO!"

Now, that doesn't even come close to happening to all children...not by a long shot. But the point I was trying to make was that at a young age, you establish a precedent that your child has more control than you.

He'll be an adult a lot longer than he'll be a kid. Let him be a kid and when he gets to be an adult, he can make those decisions for himself.

That's just me. I guess I've seen the ugly side of letting a kid get what he always wants, that's all.
May 29, 2012 11:11 AM
I'd say wait till he's 16. Girls are going to always want their ears pierced, for life. Boys, not necessarily. I think its just a passing trend for boys. I still have holes on my ears from where I double pierced them as a teenager, so the holes never go once they heal open. They aren't particularly visible, and I dont regret it as such, but they are there.

But hey, its up to you ! flowerforyou
May 29, 2012 11:20 AM
I regret my third holes I got in my ears because of painful scar tissue.

I say just go with your gut. I don't think it's a big deal. Not like it's a tattoo or a septum piercing, but it's up to you. flowerforyou
May 29, 2012 11:20 AM
Thanks to you all! heart

I have already told him no .. but wanted to get some outside thoughts on the matter. happy
May 29, 2012 11:22 AM
I think 12 is a bit too young to make this decision. You can always say you will revisit it when he is 14 or 16. Most likely this is a phase. I personally think earrings on dudes, unless they are gauged, look feminine.
  9823542
May 29, 2012 11:36 AM
Sometimes you have to let kids make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. I wanted to get my ear pierced for a while when I was little, but the minute my dad said it was ok I suddenly lost interest.

But you're the mom, if you can think of a good reason then just say no. He'll probably grow out of it in a short time anyway. And yeah, I think boys look pretty stupid with their ears pierced.
May 29, 2012 11:44 AM
QUOTE:

Sigh. So .. opinions? My 12 year old son wants to get his ears pierced. I was his age when I got mine done .. does it matter any more if it is boys or girls? I just don't know. I keep going back and forth on it. I would love some opinions. Is this something that falls under the personal style part of a kid today .. or is it still the punk kid gets his ears pierced. Thoughts?


I've never, ever, understood why a guy would want his ears pierced.

He's 12, he has no style. You're still the mother.
May 29, 2012 1:28 PM
QUOTE:

Sometimes you have to let kids make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. I wanted to get my ear pierced for a while when I was little, but the minute my dad said it was ok I suddenly lost interest.

But you're the mom, if you can think of a good reason then just say no. He'll probably grow out of it in a short time anyway. And yeah, I think boys look pretty stupid with their ears pierced.


You're gonna let a 12 year old make his own decisions?

I mean, it's not serious (the earring) really, but that mentality is what's wrong with kids these days. They don't learn from their mistakes, then their parents bail them out and tell them it's ok, don't do it again. Which they do.
May 29, 2012 1:52 PM
QUOTE:

He's 12, not even a teenager. He doesn't make the decisions yet. YOU ARE THE PARENT/ADULT! You should make the decisions for him at this age.

My brother "gave in" to his oldest sons demand when he was a youngen and always thought - what's the big deal? Well, 8 years later, after the kid dropped out of school, been arrested, OD'd twice due to drugs, ran out on the home, stole money and a car from his own father...my brother looked back and told me "I should have just said NO!"

Now, that doesn't even come close to happening to all children...not by a long shot. But the point I was trying to make was that at a young age, you establish a precedent that your child has more control than you.

He'll be an adult a lot longer than he'll be a kid. Let him be a kid and when he gets to be an adult, he can make those decisions for himself.

That's just me. I guess I've seen the ugly side of letting a kid get what he always wants, that's all.


My mom gave into me getting my belly button pierced at 13.... I went through a bad "youth" time like most do. But I finished school, don't drink, don't smoke, has had a full time job for 3 years, going to school, and own my own place and car... so yah, it doesnt always end up that way...

I say let him. Its a piercing. and now a days, its really not a big deal
  10396481
May 29, 2012 2:54 PM
He's a male... No deal.
  18304786
May 29, 2012 3:24 PM
QUOTE:

I told him that when he can walk in and do it on his own to have at it .. but he is not going down without a fight .. lol. I just don't know if I am being rediculous.


To me, if you would let your 12 year old daughter get hers pierced then yes, you should let him do it. But if it's not a matter of gender, and just age, then you have every right to put your foot down.
Edited by christine24t On May 29, 2012 3:25 PM
  7587537
May 30, 2012 2:36 AM
Irrespective of my personal views on this, is he allowed to wear earrings/studs/piercings to school? If not, that's a very simple 'no' - he'd have to wear a stud/s for at least six weeks full-time to allow the piercing to heal, so if it's going to be a problem at school...

Also, is he responsible/mature enough to take care of the piercing properly and make sure it doesn't get infected? If not, that's another very good reason for a no-go, to me. Scar tissue and keloids on a growing child can be a big problem, requiring serious medical intervention to ameliorate.
Edited by castadiva On May 30, 2012 2:39 AM
  9371113

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