No excuse. If my arms didnt work, I'd figure out a way to attach a rope to the ceiling fan and wrap it around my armpits to keep me in the right position.

exactly. And in the day of texting and cameras.... you can always be pretty passive and send him a boob pic. Even just a pic of the bed. Its pretty easy to get things moving ;)
I havent read everything but I can tell you that theres obviously more to the OPs story than she is saying and maybe realizing. If hes threatening to walk out - you have to decide if you want him to and if you dont then you should put some effort forth in making sure he doesnt. Besides, the more you initiate, the more youll probably like the results and keep doing it. win win

My ex-gf used to... but apparently it was usually with another guy. :S

Ouch! That made me tear up. I'm sooooo sorry!

My husband and I just started couples counseling. Yesterday was our second session with the therapist. He kept repeating, "There's nothing wrong with a wife wanting to have sex with her husband."

I cried.

We only have sex 2-3 times a year and it always takes a lot of persuasion on my part. I thought things might be a little better when I committed to working toward a smoking hot body. Nope.

We'll be together for 6 years this Sep and I am by far more aggressive than him. Anytime he's down, I never turn him away (Except for when I was pregnant cause it was creepy)

He tells me all the time he feels like hes just a piece of man meat

This

I get grumpy if I have to go more than a couple of days. With that said, we have never turned each other down and the initiations are about equal.

I've tried to initiate but it usually doesn't happen then.

I used to be the initiator 100% of the time. But, after being rejected 100% of the time, I stopped initiating.

My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about it. It's actually really hard for me to talk about because I start to get really teary over it. The response I get from him time and time again is that sex just isn't important to him. Honestly, I think he'd rather play a board game or hide out in his office planning his next Dungeons and Dragons encounter. He'll usually use the excuse that he's too tired but then he'll stay up for hours after I give up and go to bed.

Even though you acquiesce to your husband's needs, I can see where he's coming from. In the beginning, my hubby would still have sex with me once in a while (not nearly what I'd come to expect from previous relationships) but at least it was something. When you're the initiator 100% of the time, even if your partner is willing, it starts to sting.

At first, I wondered if it was me. I'd ask him all the time what I could be doing to make him desire me but he couldn't answer. I'm a very open-minded lover with a kinky streak so I tried and tried to see if maybe he was into something weird that he was ashamed to talk about. No dice.

I started to feel cheap each time I'd ask for sex. Rejection hurt but even when we did have sex, I'd feel this overwhelming sense of shame. Like I was a bad person for "making" my own husband sleep with me. Things would feel pleasurable in the moment and then I'd feel sick and sad and confused afterward because the act was so devoid of the truly passionate, emotional and physical connection I so desperately crave.

The longer we went between sexual encounters, the more I began to ask myself, "What's wrong with ME for needing sex so badly from someone who isn't interested???" I began to get more and more awkward when trying to initiate sex because things kept getting more and more rusty. The little sex we used to have wasn't worth phoning home about because we never got to fall into any kind of rhythm or sense of familiarity. And he could seemingly care less about getting to know what makes my body tick. He's certainly never expressed any curiosity or attempted any iota of foreplay.

It took a long time for me to accept that my husband's lack of desire is not my fault and that there isn't anything I can do to change that. Today, the thought of having sex with him seems almost absurd. I lost my desire for him when I began to see it wasn't mutual in the way I needed it to be. I will still give his ego positive strokes now and then and try to make him feel sexy because I feel that is my obligation as his wife and because I love him. But the part of me that lusted after him for so many years has died.

Unfortunately, that's not to say that my libido died. I feel trapped in a state of near-combustion every day. I have to be careful about who I make friends with because I'm terrified of being tempted by an affair. Particularly now that I have my body back because I'm cute and geeky in a way that makes a lot of guys crazy for me. I get depressed easily. I get moody and frustrated when I'm ovulating. I feel empty and guilty after masturbating because I wish I could turn that part of me off.

I always loved sex and have always needed a lot of physical attention. I thought I could learn to live with out it but it's turned out to be so much harder than I expected. I've actually scheduled an appointment with a shrink next week just to try and process it more.