Message Boards » General Diet and Weight Loss Help

TOPIC: Ignorant friends...

« Prev 1
« Prev 1
 
Ic_disabled_photos
Topic has been inactive for 30 days or more and images have been disabled.
Display All Images
May 6, 2012 10:00 AM
Just needed to get something off my chest from breakfast this morning -

I'm an RA in a college dorm, so I work very closely with my other hall staff - we live, eat, and work together. Naturally, most everyone knows that I've been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle by watching what I eat and working on self-control. One of the people on this staff is one of those people that eats whatever they want (breakfast today was two chocolate chip muffins, pizza, and soda) and then she complains about gaining weight.

She didn't eat the top of one of her chocolate muffins at breakfast and I was craving something sweet, so I asked her if I could have a small piece of the crunchy part just to satisfy that craving. She made a face when I only took a piece and put the rest back on my plate and she said "You can eat the whole thing, you're not going to die" really rudely. I was sort of taken aback because everyone knows how hard I've been working, and I am fully aware that I won't die if I eat the whole piece of muffin, I just didn't want to.

I'm trying to tell myself that she's just jealous of my ability to control what I eat and eat sweets in moderation, but it still hurts when someone takes a stab at my hard work - especially when they know how hard this adjustment has been for me. I'm trying not to let it bug me because I know it's little and it's not worth wasting energy over, I just wanted to get it off my chest to people who might understand why it's bugging me! :)
Edited by austindog2 On May 6, 2012 10:00 AM
May 6, 2012 10:07 AM
I have had similar comments about having just a taste of something. I tell people that control is like a muscle; its gets stronger when you exercise it. wink
  8052213
May 6, 2012 10:13 AM
OMG I hate that ****. My aunt says things like that too me also. I'll be like look my pants are looser... she says oh you stretched them out .. no, I am controlling myself and working the fat off my ass, literally! I completely understand why you'd be frustrated with a comment like that! Keep on sister and let the haters hate!
  17246524
May 6, 2012 10:14 AM
QUOTE:

I have had similar comments about having just a taste of something. I tell people that control is like a muscle; its gets stronger when you exercise it. wink


Agreed ^

I get that kind of comment quite a bit. Yes, I know it won't kill me but if all I want is a bite then that is all I'm going to have.

You keep doing what works for you.
  2123356
May 6, 2012 10:15 AM
You're doing great., your ticker on your profile shows you are, you're developing great self control that will serve you well in this journey.

The other person is nothing more than a magpie chattering at the window.

The winner and all around champion for this round...AUSTINDOG2. On your feet everyone, let's give it up for AustinDog.Woot!

On a more serious note...know you're doing great and that sometimes folks are going to be dipsticks.
May 6, 2012 10:16 AM
Sometimes it's best to separate yourself from people who are negative. Sometimes that means losing friends, but it can be better in the long run.
May 6, 2012 10:18 AM
You're starting from a better place than I am...weight wise....so I don't get that exact type of comment very often. But I have had people comment when I only eat half of something, or only have one serving. I also have a boyfriend who says things like "you're only saving 30 calories" when I want the fat free or light instead of the full calorie version of something. I also have the people who want to be like "why are you getting broccoli for your side....you can get that at home! We're eating out, let loose a little!" (on the rare occasion I go to Friday's I always get broccoli for my side because the meal I get is 990 calories as it is!). Or my personal favorite...my family that thinks buffets are so great because they have a variety and everyone gets "enough" to eat.
May 6, 2012 10:20 AM
Holy crap, I just looked at your ticker. Girl....your success speaks for itself. Please tune out anyone who has anything to say....because you are on top of things and clearly know what you need to be doing for you!
May 6, 2012 10:23 AM
Flip the coin for a second. You say she knows she is overweight and wants to lose weight. She has not started her journey yet, and is probably in that icky situation of guilt and avoidance. You are on your way and it is showing. You asked for something off her plate and then rejected part of it like it was poisen to your diet. She over reacted but it probably is an indicator of her emotional place right now. Just try to imagine her side too.
We've changed how we view food, some people are still using it to salve something broken.
Congrat on your progress. Keep it up, as it will serve as an inspiration for those that want to start.
  1210291
May 6, 2012 10:25 AM
I would have asked her if she wanted it back. Geez. Some people are just *****es. LOL
May 6, 2012 10:33 AM
Don't let people like that rent space in your head. You have had the courage to make a lifestyle change and to take control, some people just can't handle it because they are jealous. Keep up your hard work, only you can derail your success.
May 6, 2012 10:36 AM
When I measure out my cereal on my food scale and how much milk I put in it, I get "Are you serious, your measuring your cereal?" Others just don't understand. Good for you for not eating the whole thing, you did what you felt your body needed, don't let a small minded person who can't except that someone may do it differently get you down!!
May 6, 2012 10:40 AM
I have a lot of people look at me like an extremist when I have to stop to log whatever I am eating on this site. I'll eat what I want now and then for a treat, but I have to take responsibility for it. That's the only way I've gotten as far as I've gotten, and am determined to get to my goal and possibly beyond, but can't think about that part of the journey yet. Those types of people just need to be put in their correct level of importance, very low.
  8079716
May 6, 2012 10:57 AM
Thank you for your replies, everyone! I appreciate the encouragement :)
May 6, 2012 11:17 AM
QUOTE:

Sometimes it's best to separate yourself from people who are negative. Sometimes that means losing friends, but it can be better in the long run.


I totally agree on this!!
my face book cover reads :"sometimes you have to give up on others, not because you don't care but because they don't"
  5955126
May 6, 2012 11:23 AM
QUOTE:

Just needed to get something off my chest from breakfast this morning -

I'm an RA in a college dorm, so I work very closely with my other hall staff - we live, eat, and work together. Naturally, most everyone knows that I've been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle by watching what I eat and working on self-control. One of the people on this staff is one of those people that eats whatever they want (breakfast today was two chocolate chip muffins, pizza, and soda) and then she complains about gaining weight.

She didn't eat the top of one of her chocolate muffins at breakfast and I was craving something sweet, so I asked her if I could have a small piece of the crunchy part just to satisfy that craving. She made a face when I only took a piece and put the rest back on my plate and she said "You can eat the whole thing, you're not going to die" really rudely. I was sort of taken aback because everyone knows how hard I've been working, and I am fully aware that I won't die if I eat the whole piece of muffin, I just didn't want to.

I'm trying to tell myself that she's just jealous of my ability to control what I eat and eat sweets in moderation, but it still hurts when someone takes a stab at my hard work - especially when they know how hard this adjustment has been for me. I'm trying not to let it bug me because I know it's little and it's not worth wasting energy over, I just wanted to get it off my chest to people who might understand why it's bugging me! :)


She was certainly insensitive and I'm sorry that happened to you. (at least she DID leave part of the muffin--lol) She is most likely jealous but does not want to make the sacrifice in her own life. She is undoubtably hurting inside to lash out at you that way... As far as her opinion.. Compare results and see how much her opinions really do matter.
  16346599
May 6, 2012 11:26 AM
She didn't eat the whole muffin either. What's wrong if you just want a bite?
May 6, 2012 11:26 AM
I have had a co-worker come up to me and say "are you sick? You have lost weight" uhhhhh geeeee thank you I guess??? Nope, just getting healthy! People get mad and jelious...do what you are doing and let them hate cause in the end it will all pay off.
  14524577
May 6, 2012 11:26 AM
I have this alot.
I'l crave something, and a bite of it will be enough.
But people get all funny, like they think, we think we are better than them.
Or like where being pathetic...
Really bugs me. =/
May 6, 2012 11:28 AM
Whenever I'm around people who are negative about anything that I'm feeling good about in life
(work, school, healthy living--anything) I tell myself it's about them, not me. She clearly has issues, people don't usually eat that way unless there are other issues in their life. Silently forgive them and know that there reactions to things are THEIR problems. You are doing great and you have every right to be proud!
May 6, 2012 11:28 AM
BREAKFAST was two chocolate chip muffins, pizza, and soda?! I wouldn't eat that in a day!

It's hard dealing with other people. Sometimes it's jealousy, sometimes they don't realise the effect putting so much crap in their bodies is having. Sometimes they think people are the way they are, end of. Some people want others to stay big to justify them staying big.

I had a friend on twitter say to me "hey you might not want to publically mention you lost 6lb in a week" to which I replied "why the hell not? i'm proud of that!" "oh people might be offended" "people need to grow up and get a tougher skin, it wasn't like I sat on my ass and did everything the same as I did"
  21377783
May 6, 2012 11:35 AM
Ah yes. Jealousy is a nasty little monster. I used to hear comments like this ALL the time. I'm not as strict with myself now that I'm in maintenance, but when I was actively losing people would say things like that all the time to me. I'm fully aware that eating a candy bar, cookies or whatever won't kill me - but I just don't want it. There's no crime in not wanting to eat excessive amounts of crap food.

You're doing a great job and she's likely jealous that she doesn't have the willpower or determination that you have. I've found that the ones who give you the hardest time are the ones who are usually the most unhappy with how they look and feel. They see you being happy with your success and try their best to bring you down to their level so they don't feel so alone in their unhappiness. Don't let them get to you.
  3200790
May 6, 2012 11:44 AM
You keep doing what you're doing, and remember you're doing it for YOU xxx

I have had everything from "you're obsessed with food, just eat a damn pizza" to "you're going too far, you'll get an eating disorder" to "you've lost enough now, stop" - I'm 195 pounds FFS I'm not a size -0!!!!!!!!! A neighbour met me on my walk and actually asked me "you're out walking every day, are you trying to lose weight? You'd want to watch you don't get paranoid about it." - COME ON.

I genuinely think that when you're stuck in a rut, and you're miserable, you attract friends that are in the same mindframe. When you start to better yourself, they get unnerved because they see you moving outside of that "woe is me" mindset.

When I started my weightloss journey last year I had a friend who was very supportive until I started losing weight and she stalled. She quit the class, she'd send me a text whenever she was having a Chinese, she'd ring me on my weigh-in day complaining about how awful she felt and how she'd never lose weight. It used to drag me down for the whole day, regardless if I'd lost or gained. I actually ended up cutting her out and it spurred me on even more to do this for ME.

And breathe :D Can you tell this hit a nerve?! ;-)
May 6, 2012 12:21 PM
QUOTE:

I have had everything from "you're obsessed with food, just eat a damn pizza" to "you're going too far, you'll get an eating disorder" to "you've lost enough now, stop" - I'm 195 pounds FFS I'm not a size -0!!!!!!!!! A neighbour met me on my walk and actually asked me "you're out walking every day, are you trying to lose weight? You'd want to watch you don't get paranoid about it." - COME ON.



Yes!! I've had a lot of people tell me that I'm doing well, but my mom seems to be the most concerned and keeps reminding me that my weight is getting too low and she thinks I'm developing an eating disorder. Admittedly, whenever I start something new that I'm excited about I can get a little obsessive, but I've mellowed out A LOT on the calorie counting since those first couple of weeks. I'm 5'10'' and 153lbs right now - I'm not focused as much on losing weight anymore, just toning and losing the belly pudge that I've had since I can remember. I want to wear a bikini, damn it!

We shouldn't let anyone get us down - we're doing this for US, not them :)

Thank you everyone for listening to my little rant - it helps a lot to know that I wasn't just getting worked up about nothing. This is such a great community!
May 6, 2012 1:14 PM
QUOTE:

Just needed to get something off my chest from breakfast this morning -

I'm an RA in a college dorm, so I work very closely with my other hall staff - we live, eat, and work together. Naturally, most everyone knows that I've been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle by watching what I eat and working on self-control. One of the people on this staff is one of those people that eats whatever they want (breakfast today was two chocolate chip muffins, pizza, and soda) and then she complains about gaining weight.

She didn't eat the top of one of her chocolate muffins at breakfast and I was craving something sweet, so I asked her if I could have a small piece of the crunchy part just to satisfy that craving. She made a face when I only took a piece and put the rest back on my plate and she said "You can eat the whole thing, you're not going to die" really rudely. I was sort of taken aback because everyone knows how hard I've been working, and I am fully aware that I won't die if I eat the whole piece of muffin, I just didn't want to.

I'm trying to tell myself that she's just jealous of my ability to control what I eat and eat sweets in moderation, but it still hurts when someone takes a stab at my hard work - especially when they know how hard this adjustment has been for me. I'm trying not to let it bug me because I know it's little and it's not worth wasting energy over, I just wanted to get it off my chest to people who might understand why it's bugging me! :)

I've also had similar comments made and I've learnt to tune them out.
Negative people like that also should realize that sometimes that looking at them makes me not want to be like that again.
If they really cared they would keep quiet and should think to themselves how they wish they had that sort of self control.
  8041888

Reply

Message Boards » General Diet and Weight Loss Help

Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.