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TOPIC: I'm bigger than my boyfriend..

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June 13, 2011 10:02 PM
I weigh more than my boyfriend (I'm also taller, so maybe that has something to do with it?). He loves me and my curves JUST the way they are. So much, in fact, that he continues to bring me to taco bell and other unhealthy places. I always ask him to be more supportive and not bring me to those places, but he says he is supportive and that I can have a treat "once in a while." NO!

Whenever it's just me during the day I go to the gym and follow my diet perfectly. But when he's around I can't stick to it. He makes it impossible. I know I'm the one who chooses to put the food in the my mouth, but it's kind of wrong for him to be so uncaring. Agree? My boyfriend literally lost 20 lbs just from going to work (it's physical labor) whereas I GAINED 20 lbs since we started dating. Plus he eats fast food almost every day. It's so aggravating! I feel like he supports me yet doesn't. Sometimes I think he thinks losing weight is such an easy thing and that weekly taco bell doesn't affect it.

Sorry, rant over.

Does anyone have similar issues with their bf or significant other?
June 13, 2011 10:07 PM
I kinda do my boyfriend is a friggin toothpick and I'm like 100 lbs more than him he eats whatever he wants and I get frustrated and then when we go out its harder but he's gotten better about it just keep reminding him I'm dieting I cant have that right now but a treat every once in a while is ok and maybe you'll start to rub off on him and get him eating a little healthier thats what I did with my boyfriend and he now tries healthy foods and he eats somewhat healthier...they're guys they constantly need a reminder though for some reason you will feel like your talking to a brick wall sometimes but just keep saying I cant have that I'll go over calories I cant have that I'm dieting he will eventually get it and make sure you have the talk with him saying I need your support cuz w/out it its harder for me to do this. Hope my advice will work for you.
June 13, 2011 10:09 PM
LOL! A lady friend is concerned I will be lighter than her soon. Another lady friend didn't help the situation. She said well Barb, by height to weight he already is.
June 13, 2011 10:11 PM
when I first started at the beginning of the year my boyfriend was sort of iffy. I don't think he took me seriously. So when it came time to eat, he never really made an effort to take me in mind. I would have to make my own meals separate from him. but I think once he seen how serious i was (paying for a gym membership...I am the CHEAPEST person I know) and going to the gym every night after working 8 hour days where I also do labor work, he started to give in and also eat healthy himself. He looks at calories now and points different things out to me, and even goes on walks with me.

how long have you been living a healthier life style? maybe He just needs some time to let it sink in that you are really trying to do this and need his support?
Edited by GTI_Girl On June 13, 2011 10:12 PM
June 13, 2011 10:14 PM
oh i feel ya on this one my husband 130-135 after eating a big mac large fries and 12 doughnuts im more then 100 pounds more then him and he eats whatever he wants and losses weight he will take me to fast food and make really unhealthy food and says he loves me the way i am its super hard to lose weight when ur partner eats what ever they want and never gains i finally told him you love me the way i am thats great so be supportive in promoting my weight loss so that I CAN LOVE ME THE WAY I AM
June 13, 2011 10:14 PM
My exgirlfriend was a big part of my problem, She drank like a fish. I am also a police officer and I know all about fast food, I went to morning watch(1030-0730 in the morning) SOooo I bring my lunch. I have found out on MFP many partners are unintentionally unsupportive. I think they dont realize that once you cheat you will cheat again. I hope you work your way through this.
June 13, 2011 10:17 PM
My husband can be a little like this too... so I figured out that if they want pizza or shakes etc... I agree and then make something for myself or order iced water. This has had an amazing effect on him and my son. Both have now lost more weigt than I have ...grrr (pleased they are making great choices). I also have for the first time just said no to friends. You can do this xxx
June 13, 2011 10:18 PM
OMG, my boyfriend is manorexic! He's 47 and still fits in his clothes from HIGH SCHOOL! That's how he gauges whether or not he should "stop eating". I persistently give him a hard time for being thin, but the truth is that he expends way more calories than he takes in. He simply doesn't grocery shop. He only cooks when I am there (2 nights a week) and eats when we are at my house because I cook (two days a week). Other than that, he'll go all day and eat maybe once.

I'm pretty sure he weighs less than I do. He's tall and I'm not, but I'm thinking we're right around the same weight. I freaking hate it.

He's very mindful of my choices though, and always cooks super healthfully for me. Before he started dating me, all he ate was take out and fast food. And he was still a stick. Bastard. ;)

Maybe after a while he'll see how serious you are about this and be more sensitive to it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. :)
June 13, 2011 10:19 PM
Thanks everyone. I have been on this "lifestyle change" for a few months. I was good the entire month of april and lost 8 lbs then fell off the wagon. I just started again at the beginning of june and have been doing good except for whenever I'm with him! Whenever I used to visit him I would bring healthy snacks and water. That would work. But every time we go to eat he will suggest only fast food and say, "It's easier." Usually if I know I'm going to be hanging out with him I'll set aside extra calories and then gym it hard the next day. I literally have told him many times, "you're not supportive and I'm trying hard to lose weight." He just says that he is supportive but doesn't change his behavior. I'm not complaining because I don't see him that often but whenever I do it's like all my hard work has been erased! We're not that big in weight difference though, maybe 30 lbs.
June 13, 2011 10:28 PM
Stick with your own goals, even if it takes a bit more effort! Maybe you can bring some of your own food with you to eat while he eats fast food. Nothing wrong with that! Most fast food, like taco bell, is just salty and unhealthy. My husband is a bit overweight, and doesn't eat healthy a lot of the time. It was hard for him initially when I decided I didn't want to be "chubby" anymore. Although I'd rather he ate healthier, I certainly don't have to eat what he does. He's more used to it now. He has potatoes or french fries, and I have cauliflower or broccoli. I don't eat cookies and bread much anymore either, so those are just sitting in the pantry. Anyway, my advice is: don't wait for him to be "supportive", take care of your own health. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing. :)
June 13, 2011 10:51 PM
thanks! It's hard to be with someone who IS but ISN'T supportive. I know these are my goals so I need to stick with them, but the temptation is so hard! Just wish he would understand that I'm serious.
June 14, 2011 6:12 AM
I think if you can recognize that there is a problem, you are on the right track. Like you said, you can't blame him though. You are ultimately the one who makes the choices- good or bad. My boyfriend does this ALL OF THE TIME. He was ANGRY that I didn't want anything from McDonalds the other night. It doesn't make any sense to me. I am very stubborn though and I stick to my guns. He then tried to get me to eat gummy bears at 11pm because he felt bad that he was eating and I was not. I don't eat after dinner, because that is when I tend to binge.. he knows that! I think they just feel bad if we are not eating because they can always eat and not really be affected by it. I think the best thing to do is to try and get him involved to see that you are serious. I bet my bf he couldn't stop drinking soda, and now he drinks tea (at least when I am around lol). I also get sneaky and say I want to go watch the sunset and we end up walking the beach for two hours, win-win. Just try to involve him in little ways... Cook him dinner and make everything healthy, he won't know the difference. I always make stuff low fat (like turkey tacos w/ ww shells, ff sour cream, and mozzeralla cheese) and he never knows. I tell him afterward and he thinks it's funny when I pull one past him lol.


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