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TOPIC: Online Dating!

 
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July 31, 2013 7:43 AM
I met my ex boyfriend online (not on a dating site) we were together for a year and 3 months. You have to go through a lot of junk pics to find a good guy
July 31, 2013 7:43 AM
QUOTE:

I've done a good bit of online dating in the past. I actually met my fiance on OkCupid, and we've been together for 3 years next month! :)

Some tips:
* Be selective. If some guy gives you the creeps, follow your instincts! If a guy seems too good to be true, he PROBABLY IS!

* Don't discount someone just because you don't think their pics are that great. I did NOT think my fiance chose good pics for his profile. I looked at it for months and skipped over it every time because I didn't feel attracted to him. When I finally gave him a chance and met in person, he looked TOTALLY different in a good way! Instant sparks!

* Always, ALWAYS plan to meet in a public place. I can't stress this enough. Let a friend or family member know where you are and any info you know about the guy. Just in case. Better to be safe than sorry! I would always have said friend call me about 20 minutes into the date, in case I needed a quick getaway. Luckily I never needed one!

* Have FUN!


Excellent advice! Your second point happened to me too.
  41792173
July 31, 2013 7:44 AM
My experiences have not been positive, but some of that may be attributed to my living situation (I had to get rid of my car and I don't invite people to my house until I meet them in public several times, so it's kind of hard meeting people for the first date! LOL) but most of the messages I get from people on the "free" sites were just looking for hook ups. Once I am in a better position financially, I may try a paid site to see if I get more people in a "dating" mind set...but your situation is different. I'm sure so you may do great, I hope so! Good luck! And I agree with the "be honest" replies-definitely most important!!
  6568018
July 31, 2013 7:44 AM
QUOTE:

I haven't had much luck with dating lately so I am thinking of doing online dating. I'm kind of nervous about it though!

I was hoping you guys could share your experiences with online dating. Any tips or advice?

Thanks! :)

And also which site is the best? Haha, I don't know what site I should use!


Out of curiosity..where are you located? Sometimes that can have a swing on who you're meeting online in certain areas. I know DC area can be interesting..I'll put it that way!!
  10809641
July 31, 2013 7:46 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:


* Don't discount someone just because you don't think their pics are that great. I did NOT think my fiance chose good pics for his profile. I looked at it for months and skipped over it every time because I didn't feel attracted to him. When I finally gave him a chance and met in person, he looked TOTALLY different in a good way! Instant sparks!





<-----Some people are not photogenic and look way better in person

Really?? *Swoon* noway
July 31, 2013 7:46 AM
I did it for a while, I think it is really awful and emotionally damaging in a way. Hated it. Don't like the meat market and people who don't take the time to get to know each other before skipping on to the next thing on offer. It's not remotely helpful to me.

I'd rather be alone. Actually quite happy with my single life right now :-)
July 31, 2013 7:48 AM
QUOTE:

I am currently seeing a guy I met on OKCupid.com. We have been dating about a month now. He's a really good guy, who works a lot so we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together.
I recommend just putting yourself on and keeping an eye on the hits you get anyway. Most of the guys who had messaged me were either looking to just score or just chat. Just be careful and use common sense about meeting people.


This almost exactly for me. I liked the site, and you learn to ignore the guys that don't put in any effort (I got a lot of messages that said "hey"). I'd also recommend meeting someone relatively soon after chatting with them a few times. It's easily to get emotionally involved, but there may not be chemistry in person (we have a habit of making them perfect in our heads).

There are always guys looking for hookups, and OKcupid has "available" and "single" categories. There are a fair number of people on the site looking for threesomes, cheating, or in open relationships. I was kind of surprised by that. Stuck it out, and I've found a guy that seems pretty great so far. We'll see how it goes.
  3535168
July 31, 2013 7:48 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I haven't had much luck with dating lately so I am thinking of doing online dating. I'm kind of nervous about it though!

I was hoping you guys could share your experiences with online dating. Any tips or advice?

Thanks! :)

And also which site is the best? Haha, I don't know what site I should use!


Out of curiosity..where are you located? Sometimes that can have a swing on who you're meeting online in certain areas. I know DC area can be interesting..I'll put it that way!!


TO SAY THE LEAST!! hahaha. oy vey. i met my ex on OKC...but i've also "met" plenty of catfishers too. staying off for a while....
July 31, 2013 7:50 AM
I went through a few duds, but that's to be expected. I am now marrying a man I met off POF. We would have never met if we weren't online. I was a student and he was a single father working in the oil patch. My advice to you, meet in public places, don't give him your home address, and keep it casual for awhile. You might think you know a person because you've been chatting with them online for a few weeks, but you don't. Lots are out for a booty call, women too, but keep your mind open and have fun. The best part are all the dates you get to go on.
  2032918
July 31, 2013 8:06 AM
Don't worry I have not had luck all of my life with dating.
July 31, 2013 8:41 AM
Met my husband on match.com We have just celebrated are three year anniversary So don't give up
  47890210
July 31, 2013 8:45 AM
I met my boyfriend of 2.5 years on line! We met on okcupid.com and met two weeks later. Moved in together after four months and together still :) love him!
  47440730
July 31, 2013 8:53 AM
whatever site you use, my adice would be not to date anyone that has not been single for at least 6 months or so. I had to weed out alot of still angry, hurt, not over it women to get some good dates. Alot of people on there arent ready, they are just lonely. Kind of sad actually. Im sure its even worse for a female. You have to watch out for the tell you whatever you want to hear to get in your pants guys. Good luck to you!
July 31, 2013 8:56 AM
QUOTE:

I haven't had much luck with dating lately so I am thinking of doing online dating. I'm kind of nervous about it though!

I was hoping you guys could share your experiences with online dating. Any tips or advice?

Thanks! :)

And also which site is the best? Haha, I don't know what site I should use!


Met my ex and my current girlfriend online. I have been with her for 8 months now and things are going great. I have used match.com and eharmony. I live in a populated area so eHarmony worked very well for me. It's a matter of luck. You will find some crazy people and some normal. Good Luck.
July 31, 2013 8:58 AM
It's just another way to meet people- in my area seriously everyone I know does it. Just like in real life, there will be creeps - but you are only looking for 1 person so it doesn't matter how many creeps there are. Just talk to people who have multiple pics and don't seem shady, meet them soon and in a public place. From then on it's just like normal dating - I've had multiple boyfriends I met online and have been to multiple weddings of people who met online - in fact my profile pic is from on last weekend, they met on OKcupid!
Edited by UrbanLotus On July 31, 2013 9:02 AM
  31145992
July 31, 2013 9:22 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

A quick rundown of online dating

If you have the vaj and are even remotely aesthetically pleasing (say 5 and up/10), you get inundated with tons of emails. You pic the attractive pictures, delete the rest. Then check profiles to weed out the ones you reply to.

If you have the d, you send an email to every profile that has a remotely aesthetically pleasing pic hoping to make the cut, and rarely get a reply because the odds just aren't in your favor. However, if you are aesthetic (say 7 and up/10), you will get quite a few messages from 0-3 or so/10 thinking they have a shot.

Basically, as a female you can generally date 2-3 notches above your level (aesthetically speaking), whereas a male generally has to drop a couple notches below his level to have consistent results.

Call me shallow, but that is the reality as confirmed by personal experience as well as several others, male and female included.


From reading a massive dating thread elsewhere, it seems to be about right.

So, where can I get one of these vajs of which you speak?


You are very unlikely to get it on a dating site, you're willing to shoot about 2-3 notches below your level lol
July 31, 2013 9:26 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Basically, as a female you can generally date 2-3 notches above your level (aesthetically speaking), whereas a male generally has to drop a couple notches below his level to have consistent results.


In my experience it's not that men have to settle a couple of notches below their worth ("aesthetically speaking"), but that 'some' men have a rather inflated sense of self esteem, to make them think that, at age 50 with a massive gut and no hair, they can pull the 20-somethings in their bikinis slurping cocktails seductively through a straw... huh

And it's not just about looks. I was approached by many a bicep-kisser, where the first message makes it clear that he has achieved nothing other than... bicep..., is completely illiterate, operates in a complete cerebral vacuum but still thinks he's the mutt's nuts! noway


While *some*men have that mentality, you're kidding yourself if you think what I posted is not the overall experience. There are a few exceptions, but exceptions do not make rule. What I posted is by and large the way it works.

And guys that have only achieved biceps are retard. Gotta get the full body worked for a well rounded physique :-P
July 31, 2013 9:52 AM
I've tried it. It wasn't for me. I reactive my okcupid account every couple months when I'm feeling bored and quickly deactivate it. I don't "click" with very many guys in general even if we do have a lot in common. I don't like the idea of meeting someone who is more or less a stranger and can't shake the feeling that I'm being judged and weighed against the guys ideas of a good lay, gf, wife, etc. I also feel when I put up my best photos that I look much better than I do in person and someone will think I lied. I wanted to put up an awful photo of myself but my friends told me not to and while I thought it was funny I see their point. Most guys don't want to talk much before meeting - and I understand that - see if there is a spark so we aren't wasting time right? Well I don't want to waste a bunch of time meeting guys when I can tell after chatting for a few days that I might not get along with them. It's a catch 22. I did meet one guy - we seemed to have a lot to talk about before meeting but when we did meet it was very meh. He seemed a lot older (not physically just in general) and while it wasn't a horrible experience it wasn't a great one either.

The first time I signed up I used a photo from the waist up because I am a bigger girl and wanted that to be clear from the start but that just got me lots of messages about my boobs. It calmed down once I took that photo down.

My biggest problem would be guys who don't have much to say or trail off and really pushy guys. If I tell you more than once that I am not interested in meeting until I know you better and you keep asking me "what about tomorrow night" I'm going to stop talking to you because you are already annoying the crap out of me.

There were a few guys that I thought were probably pretty nice but I don't feel I could really get to know them on there and didn't want any of the pressure with meeting them in person. I just hate "dating" in general. All of the guys I've had relationships with I knew them as coworkers or friends or friends of friends so it wasn't so weird - even a few online ones from gaming.
July 31, 2013 10:01 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:


* Don't discount someone just because you don't think their pics are that great. I did NOT think my fiance chose good pics for his profile. I looked at it for months and skipped over it every time because I didn't feel attracted to him. When I finally gave him a chance and met in person, he looked TOTALLY different in a good way! Instant sparks!





<-----Some people are not photogenic and look way better in person


Yes....I feel exactly the same.
  27162970
July 31, 2013 10:08 AM
I met my fiance on a dating website and we now have an awesome 2 week old son!
  24085956
July 31, 2013 10:11 AM
I signed up for OKCupid, as well. It's been hit or miss - but, I'm definitely having fun, and have gotten some great stories out of the experiences. :-) The above advice is very sound, and actually easy to follow. Just be aware and pay attention to signs and clues.

Never knew MFP was also a dating site! HA! It's delightful to read that some of the couples met here. When someone is right, here's hoping that you find them who-knows-where!
  44526782
July 31, 2013 10:22 AM
writeaprisoner dot com
July 31, 2013 10:28 AM
I tried several sites when I was single. You have to weed through a lot, but it can work. I met my boyfriend on POF over a year ago and we have been living together for 2 months now. I was about ready to give up for good and he was just signing back on after a few months break. We were meant to meet. (ok our paths had crossed before, but never officially met until I approached him on the site)

My best advice is be honest, don't let the picture alone dictate who you meet, and go with your gut instinct.

Good luck! flowerforyou
Edited by Serenitytoo On July 31, 2013 10:29 AM
  3549714
July 31, 2013 10:31 AM
I'm with my boyfriend I met on OkCupid for almost 2 years now. I also tried match.com and eharmony.com, but it all depends on what you're looking for because they all seem to cater to different types of people - also, OKC is free and most other sites are not. It's real hit and miss with all of them, but worth a try I think. :)
  13390582
July 31, 2013 10:33 AM
I actually joined OKC to laugh at the creepers and wound up meeting my amazing boyfriend through it. There are genuine people on there who want more than just a hookup and the more of those little quiz questions you answer, the better the match you find.

Always be really careful with what you put on those sites and say to people, though. My boyfriend accidentally gave away so much that I wound up knowing his home address before we'd ever met. (He linked me to a video on his YouTube account, where I found another video with his name on it, found him on Facebook to make sure he was legit and his address was public.)

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