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TOPIC: Anorexia/Bulimia Recovery Help!

 
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July 12, 2013 6:45 PM
Hey everyone, I started dieting a year ago at 5' 2" at 125 pounds, and promised to only lose weight until I got to 110. However, things spun out of control and I ended up weighing 89 pounds at my lowest. Additionally, I didn't see any problem with this. During last summer, I started having recurring binges and, eventually, after I couldn't handle the idea of the crazy amounts of food and started purging. My parents wouldn't have any of this, and said I needed to gain weight. Eventually, I agreed, realizing my mistakes. I started on a 2,000 calorie weight gain diet, but always left about 300-400 calories left for doubt. And if I ever went over, I purged. Seeing as calorie counting wouldn't work to gain weight, I decided a few days ago to just let go and eat whatever. Sadly, I seem to be eating huge amounts when left to my own devices... I'm afraid I'm going WAY over 2,000 calories. Today, I had a bowl of Fiber One for breakfast, a little muffin and some Chex Mix for lunch, three pork chops and peas for dinner, and afterwards, had a slice of cheese, some sliced turkey, and about HALF a box of Chocolate Mini Wheats, with milk to boot... I felt so bad about the last thing I vomited it all back up. So what do I do??? Calorie counting has me gaining to slow (or none at all), but completely letting go has me eating like CRAZY!!! And both ways could lead to a purge, depending on what I do... Is it normal for recovering folk to eat SO much every day? Will it be disastrous if I gain more than a pound per week? Calorie-counting or not? And how do I stop the binging? Is it normal? Oh man, I already asked that... I'm just sooooo worried! Please help! I don't know how to gain weight at a good pace... Calorie-counting, I gain too slow; not calorie-counting, and I gain too fast... Please help!
July 12, 2013 6:55 PM
Are you in some kind of therapy? Treatment? Support group? As you are still struggling with purging, your eating disorder is far more than merely a calorie thing right now. You will need additional help.
July 12, 2013 6:58 PM
I can totally relate to some of this. I am not anorexic or bulimic, but I have been a binge eater for the last 2 1/2 years. When I calorie count and restrict I feel deprived and binge, but when I let myself eat whatever I waaay overeat, like you.
I recommend not counting calories, but trying to eat healthier. I am hesitant to reccomend anything because different things work for different people, I have read that you should not try to diet/lose weight when you have an eating disorder but the way I see it, I am not healthy, and I need to lose weight to be healthy. It's not just about accepting myself the way I am. I want to be healthy for my daughter, and for myself.
Check out Nina V on Youtube. She used to have an eating disorder and now makes videos to help others. Uinfortunately she hasn't made a video in a few weeks now.
I also agree with the previous poster who said you need help. It's a terrible thing trying to deal with an eating disorder. I'm only just starting to get help myself.
Edited by babyangelica2010 On July 12, 2013 6:59 PM
July 12, 2013 7:41 PM
QUOTE:

Are you in some kind of therapy? Treatment? Support group? As you are still struggling with purging, your eating disorder is far more than merely a calorie thing right now. You will need additional help.


This^
July 12, 2013 8:31 PM
Yeah, currently, I am looking for a good therapist that is also within my insurance plan. I tried one therapist before, but she didn't work out well. :/
July 12, 2013 8:45 PM
Hey, I can extremely relate. I went through the exact same thing about 3 years ago. I was bulimia and anorexic in a way I just threw up whatever I ate. i was instutionalized and had to go on a similar thing. The one girl is right if your feeling this way you definatly need to try out different thereapist until your comfortable with the one you like. It took me about 5 therapist to finally find the one i liked and that worked for me. Coming out of it is hard because your way of eating is distored from what we went through. You feel like your eating too much most of the time or none at all. Its usually one extreme or another. I had to go to a nutrionost to help me. And honeslty I had my mom help me plan out meals to make sure I was eating the correct amount. To this day I still am not allowed to have a scale in my house. Let me know if you would like to talk more. I have experice with this. smile
July 12, 2013 8:47 PM
My 22 year old daughter has battled bulimia for the last 6 years. I started a non-profit group and you can access our posting on FB under Courageous Voice. I would recommend looking up NEDA on the Internet for a recommended therapist - they are very helpful. I'm not sure where you live but there is an amazing therapist in Southern California that I would highly recommend, Dr. Alitta Kullman. I hope this is helpful.
July 14, 2013 10:07 AM
Hey, thank you everyone for your good advice. :) I did some extensive research (while maybe not THAT extensive... XD) and found out that anorexics and even just plain ol' malnourished people eat A TON of food during weight recovery. Some as much as 8000-10000 calories a day! Gee whiz, and I thought I was having a lot... So no biggie, really. It's all completely normal. It's not even binge eating, it's reactive eating. We're eating so much because our bodies demand it so badly- they've been deprived for so long. They need the nutrients and energy to rebuild organs and all that biology-ish stuff... Makes sense! And once an anorexic or malnourished person reaches a good and healthy weight, the reactive eating will stop and we'll eat a normal amount, with no persistent desire to eat a whole bunch of stuff. This is all good to know... I was freaked out at first, and I think I can relax knowing what I'm doing is okay. :) My impulses to purge will drop significantly, or maybe even dissapear completely. As long as I know I'm not doing anything wrong or going overboard, it's all good. So thanks again! :)
November 9, 2013 5:34 AM
Bingeing and starving are opposite sides of the same coin. Did you try Anorexics and BUlimics Anonytmous? You can find their website online. Or overeaters anonymous is helpful. If you binge, you'll purge or diet in some way. Best to get external help and support to learn how to eat noramlly and recognize that you are not normal. That's the first step. Good luck. Don't try to do this alone by the way. You need a community of support

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