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TOPIC: I feel pretty useless right now...

 
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June 17, 2013 8:01 AM
Hey to everyone, I am currently 23 and weigh over 320lbs and have been trying to get to college to do a degree next fall.

I recently got a job at a warehouse to get some spare money before that. I was under the impression that I could do it, the pay was pretty decent, and it involved lifting and transporting of light items which I thought I could handle. All in all, I couldn't manage to do it, I was gasping for air, had severe back pains and had to deal with being in a bad working environment so I ended up resigning after only doing it for a week. I felt like a failure. All of which was due to my weight issues, as I know if I was healthy I'd be able to do it. I have no energy, and I look and feel horrible.

Now I'm pretty much alone at home, have hardly any family members around me, and pretty much no friends to talk to. I have lost weight in the past (around 30lbs) by sticking to calorie limits and going for long walks, but I tend to let everything I'm going through affect my diet and I give up. I'm hoping to get to college and hopefully improve my life, but that's not guaranteed either as I can get rejected again.

I guess I just need some starting points for exercises/weight loss on how to manage with losing weight properly and not giving up all the time each time I stumble along the road.
Edited by TDiaz214 On June 17, 2013 8:05 AM
  45566377
June 17, 2013 8:06 AM
Welcome to MFP!

My tips:

1. Don't worry about eating the "right" or "wrong" foods - just eat less. Keep a calorie deficit. Try to eat plenty of fruits, veggies, lean protein, healthy grains, fats, etc. But you can still have pizza, cookies, pasta, ice cream, etc. Just not as much of it.

2. Exercise if you want. You don't have to exercise to lose weight, but it will help you look and feel better. Start with something simple, like walking. Add a little time every day you do it. Eventually, jog a little. Then jog a little more. Do strength training to help retain muscle mass.

3. Read the forums. There are tons of answers out there, so do your research.

4. Get some MFP friends. Support from other people can go a long way.

5. Recognize that you will slip up and make mistakes. That's ok. We all do. Just get back on track.

6. Be patient. Don't expect Biggest Loser style results. It's ok if it takes some time - because that time is going to pass anyway. You might as well be working towards a goal.
  16691827
June 17, 2013 8:08 AM
I've found that support is key...and I think MFP can provide that for you. It sucks when you start to feel bad about yourself and then feel bad for feeling bad! It can be a super vicious cycle. But, if you have done it before, you can do it again. Every journey/race starts with a step. It sounds like you now want to do some things for yourself (be healthy, go to college) and those are all awesome goals to have! There will always be setbacks in life; what matters most is how we handle them, what we do after, and what we tell ourselves. You may FEEL useless, but you are not useless. It takes tons of courage to be open and honest and even more courage to decide to make a change in your life. Feel free to add me if you like :) and hang in there **hugs**
Edited by ShaniB729 On June 17, 2013 8:09 AM
June 17, 2013 8:12 AM
Thanks alot for the posts :]

I will make an attempt at losing weight from today itself, and will try to be more active by going back on my walks tomorrow.

I'll also try to use this site more often now !
Edited by TDiaz214 On June 17, 2013 8:14 AM
  45566377
June 17, 2013 8:16 AM
For me, looking at the whole picture at once was intimidating. I had to start with small changes...which eventually lead to big changes. Example...start drinking more water and less sugary/caffeinated drinks. When you've got that nailed down for a week or two, then start changing up some eating habits...same thing...then incorporate more exercise...and so on.

Good luck on your journey!
  257376
June 17, 2013 8:18 AM
Losing weight is hard no matter what your size is. We've all had disappointments and times in our past where our weight was an issue (those of us who need to lose weight).... but what's important now is you recognize that and work on it. I think you got some great advice. Find others who need to lose about what you do on here and work together. Listen to others who have lost, how they did it and see what works for you. Even small steps like taking a short walk in the evening will add up. Do you have a neighbor who needs to lose some or likes to walk? Maybe work on it together.

Good luck and be sure you're adding updates on your progress!
  43312047
June 17, 2013 8:20 AM
You are not useless. Get out and take a walk. No matter what the weather is! If impossible, put on the TV and walk in place for at least 20-30 minutes. This really works! You do not need exercise equipment. Move your arms back and forth, raise your legs and walk in the same place!! You can do it!!! Let me know how it works out!!!!!smooched heart
June 17, 2013 8:22 AM
QUOTE:

For me, looking at the whole picture at once was intimidating. I had to start with small changes...which eventually lead to big changes. Example...start drinking more water and less sugary/caffeinated drinks. When you've got that nailed down for a week or two, then start changing up some eating habits...same thing...then incorporate more exercise...and so on.

Good luck on your journey!


This - baby steps! I never did well trying to fix both my diet and exercise routine at once. Get one down, then work on the other, but make small changes at a time.
Exercise - just walk for now. Find a buddy, try meetup.com to find groups, go for a couple walks. Even just a short walk is better than nothing! Even if you can't find someone to go with you, get some good music, a podcast or book, and the time will seem like it passes quicker. :) I started out at 260lb and just walked. Even just walking around the block was a lot of effort, but I made goals to get it done quicker, then added more distance - I found another block to walk around, then added more laps. Or walk at a park.

Best of luck to you! flowerforyou
June 17, 2013 8:23 AM
I cannot speak for all, but I am sure that there are many of us who have felt the same. I know I did back in April. I felt unattractive, winded from climbing stairs, and embarassed that I had to take the elevator up to my seats at the football stadium. I was tired of things in my closet not fitting, and tired of rejection. I decided to stop letting food control me, as it had all of my life, and take control from it. I first just cut out all drinks that were not water, and then started making changes. Logging ALL of my food in on MFP has been a lifesaver, as I think about the bottom line, and if I want to waste the calories on that particular thing. Most of the time, the answer is no. I am not a fruit and veggie eater, but I started adding celery with fat free cream cheese, and red pepper strips with low fat onion dip into my meals, and now it gets easier. Yes, I would rather have the cookies, but I like people noticing how different I am looking, and that keeps me going. Reading the success stories of others has been a big help, and a good friend of mine from school is here and on Facebook. He has lost over 115 pounds, and is a true inspiration to me. He would not mind if you added him here and/or on his facebook page. Maninmyshadow is his name, and he is a great guy. Feel free to add me as a friend as well.
June 17, 2013 8:23 AM
I agree with what the others have posted. Take baby steps and eventually you will be taking leaps! Start each day by saying, "today i will _____".

I have lost 30 pounds so far on my journey, but have much more to go. I simply remember that I did not gain the weight over night, so losing it will also be a long process. I am currently 38 and want to be "fit by fourty".

You can do it!
June 17, 2013 8:33 AM
QUOTE:

For me, looking at the whole picture at once was intimidating. I had to start with small changes...which eventually lead to big changes. Example...start drinking more water and less sugary/caffeinated drinks. When you've got that nailed down for a week or two, then start changing up some eating habits...same thing...then incorporate more exercise...and so on.

Good luck on your journey!


This is great advice. If you jump in thinking "I need to cut out ALL SODA RIGHT NOW and NEVER EAT PIZZA AGAIN and SPEND AT LEAST AN HOUR A DAY ON THE TREADMILL" it might be too much all at once. For me, easing into it is the reason I could stick with it and maintain. Ten to twenty minutes walking or rolling on a stationary bike until I got acclimated to exercising, and making little changes to my diet until those changes BECAME my diet. I've gotten away from soda almost completely, and a couple of months ago I was on here swearing up and down I couldn't ever really give it up. Just trading Cokes for Coke Zeros and more water gave me great results in a couple of weeks.

One other thing that really helped me was stopping myself every time I got up for food and reasoning out why I wanted to eat. Am I legit hungry, or am I just bored or unhappy about something? It's embarrassing how often the answer is simply that I have a little room or free time. That's not to say you should shame yourself out of meals - get your three squares a day, and don't forget to portion out snacks! But before you do, look at the calorie count. Take the time to decide for yourself if you're hungry or if it's something else.

And don't get frustrated if you backslide. We all do. Just get back up and try again. And if you can't do that, reach out here and talk to someone. Hell, go on and add me, I'm pretty good at cheering people on. :)
Edited by genofreek On June 17, 2013 8:38 AM

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