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My 4th Time (Hospice)

This is the 4th time in my life that I've been the responsible party for someone beginning hospice care.  It's such a wonderful and helpful resource but so sad and depressing at the same time. 

My first experience was with my sister-in-law 32 years ago.  She died of metastatic melanoma at the age of 36.  She was unmarried and both parents were gone so my husband (her brother) and I took care of her.  She died in my arms and unfortunately we only found out about hospice about a week before she died so we never really received any of those benefits.

Both of my parents were on hospice at the end of their lives and I really dont' know what I would have done without their help.  I've even made some lasting friendships because of the wonderful people who helped me care for my parents.  I've also volunteered my time on occasion when they needed someone to just sit with a patient and keep them company.

Now it's my sister's turn.  We met her nurse for the first time today and will be getting a visit from the social worker sometime this week as well.  Her nurse was very unconventional and of course my sister loved it because she's always been the unconventional one in the family............a match made in heaven.

We don't really need a lot of their services yet because my sister is still mobile and in general isn't suffering too badly.  However she's in considerable pain and has trouble eating so they're going to help with the pain issue but for now whether she eats or not is really up to her, all I can do is cook for her and hope she eats it.  

I feel better knowing she has someone she can call while we're gone next week in CO visiting the baby and our kids and other grandkids.  The nurse will check in on her at least twice while we're gone. 

Right now I just feel kind of numb and probably sad that we've begun the process of her dying, yes I know we're all dying, but she's dying quicker than I am.  I think she might be more stoic than I am which bothers me a little but honestly now that I've found her again I really hate the thought of losing her.

I'm hoping to help her make Christmas fun and create some new memories to treasure after she's gone..........right now that's all I can focus on I guess. 

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13 commentaires:

Marinegirl_92 a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Lulu - Hugs lady. Although it is hard, sad and depressing I believe it's an honor to walk that last season of life with someone. You are one amazing lady to be so compassionate and available to your sister in this final walk. I pray for both you and your sister and your entire family during this season to lift you up during the hard times and see the beauty too. Hugs and prayers. Denise
luluinca a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Thanks for reading my thoughts and for the comment.......you're the best!
brandiuntz a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Big hugs to you. It is always so hard to lose a loved one. I'm glad you're there for her on her final walk. And I'm glad hospice is already in place to help with the journey. Sending good vibes to you and the whole family.
lizandrashaw a écrit il y a 3 mois:
It's good you're getting them involved early. It's easier that way. And I'm glad you're taking care of you and acknowledging how hard this is.
aliciaaw a écrit il y a 3 mois:
So sorry to hear that you're going thru this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Will say a prayer to help you get thru this. Happy that you'll be able to make some new memories with your sister.

Take care and God Bless you!
runningforthetrain a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Love, prayers, and hugs for everyone in your family. So nice that she likes her hospice caretaker-- every day is a gift. God bless you.
luluinca a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Thanks everyone for the kind words and well wishes. We'll try to get through this with grace and peace.
Healthy_4_Life2 a écrit il y a 3 mois:
Hello, I am sorry to hear about all that you are going through. I am a hospice social worker and I work with patients and family at the end of life. Please reach out if you need additional support. My prayers for you and your family.
Kellielvsfam a écrit il y a 3 mois:
First off,i'm so sorry to hear about your sister.What a wonderful and endearing thing you are doing for her an others!It sounds to me like she has a wonderful soul for a sister.Sounds like you have been estranged or something,saying you just found her.Try not to focus on the past so much.It sounds to me like you are giving her your all right now and thats what matters.I have thought about being a volunteer for hospice but i'm not sure if i can really do it.I'm still thinking on it.Bless your heart for all you do.(((((bighugs}}}}
losergood2011 a écrit il y a 2 mois:
So sorry to hear about your sister - but so glad you have such a wonderful fit through Hospice for her. Hugs and prayers for you and yours.
mk2fit a écrit il y a 2 mois:
Adding hospice is such a heart-wrenching decision. It makes us confront a loved one's mortality as well as our own. I called in hospice for what ended up as my mom's last two months. They were wonderful for her and me. I will keep you, your sister, and the rest of your family in my prayers. <3
luluinca a écrit il y a 2 mois:
Thank you everyone! Your well wishes mean a lot to me.
bobi777 a écrit il y a 2 mois:
You are truly blessed and are a strong person to endure the work of caregiver. I have a book for you to read about hospice and the work in caring for someone in their last days. "Dying Well, Peace and Possibilities at the end of life",m Ira Byock, M.D

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