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The Lady in the far distance!

Sometimes, when I read a comment on my blog, and people call me inspirational, I feel like I should turn around and make sure they are not talking about someone else who is standing behind me. They cannot possibly mean me.  How did a fat lady like me, become an inspiration?

The thought that I might help a stranger to not give up on his -or her- weight loss journey, is overwhelming. It seems many can identify with my story and that's good news. I am not so special after all. There are many just like me, and I am lucky, to have some of them by my side here at MFP -many of them who are more successful than me.

Then there are others, who read my blog and ask me for motivation and help, and that's when I feel totally overwhelmed. How in the world can you motivate another person to eat and live healthier? How can you help another person to lose weight?

I believe WE are our biggest motivation. The memory of who we have been -before we decided to let ourselves go, and the vision of who we long to be. That's all it takes to get going in the right direction. No slogans or phrases will push us as much as our own visions can.

I still have my weak moments when I want to throw in the towel and walk away for a few days. There are times, when the urge to overeat seems to blog every reasonable thought in my mind.

In a moment like this, I close my eyes, and I look back. I see me, the fat lady in her tight 3X top; I see her huffing and puffing. In my mind, I go back in time and watch her eat two lunches and 5 donuts. Then I think about the night in the movie theater when nobody wanted to sit beside me. I make myself remember, to the point that I can feel the pain again.

Going back would be so easy, and it would feel so right at times -but that's not who I want to be...not anymore.

When I try to look ahead, I see a lady in the far distance. I see her silhouette, but the picture is not clear, she is too far away. She stands tall and waves at me. She looks healthy and fit. She is not thin, but rather has an average figure. The lady is who I could be -perhaps in a year or two. I will continue to walk toward her, and hope that one day, we will meet and become one.

On the threshold between the years, I have no other New Year's resolution than to continue my journey to a healthier future.

71 lbs gone - Only 69 lbs to go!

Holy Cannoli! I gained 2 pounds over Christmas. During the Holidays I have gained 4 pounds back, and I was tempted to call it "Maintenance failure," but that would be wrong. "Learning by doing" makes much more sense. 



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19 comentarios:

mlakhatch escribió hace 3 meses:
When I get to eating out of control I now start remembering my husband and his 4 month stay in the hospital after 3 surgeries because we weren't monitoring our diabetes! I don't want to go through any of that and I don't want to watch anyone I love go through it either.
musicsax escribió hace 3 meses:
Do you know what? we all get days when we think what the heck! I'm well into maintanence now, (I shed getting on for 5 stone), I have to work at keeping myself under control, I know my body doesn't need as much as I like to eat and I do get days when I think I just want to eat as much as I want. But I think back to how depressed I was at my size, not liking how clothes sat on me and after an indulgence or two I pull myself together and get back in the maintanence wagon. When you've been overweight nearly all your life it has to become a weight watching way of life.
I can totally see that you are an inspiration, you tell it how it is, warts and all, you have a way with words and many of us can relate to what you are doing and how.
Keep it up my friend you are doing such a brilliant job!!!
HildieMe escribió hace 3 meses:
Thanks again for your writing. I can relate to that "role model" discomfort, I went through that several times. You want to help, but it's difficult to do, everyone has different triggers...

I just read an article about how to keep those New Years resolutions: Will power won't do it. No clenched fist self control will do it. What you need is feeling good - in the sense of grateful, altruistic, helping others, a positive outlook on life.

But it's hard to convince others to turn around their own thinking, to quit the whining, feeling-sorry-for yourself attitude... I know, being married to an eternal pessimist.

Anyway, keep up the good work, I love your writing!
ggeise14 escribió hace 3 meses:
I read your blog and it does motivate me! You put into words my fleeting thoughts. I gained 5 pounds over the last week and reading your posts helps me remember to keep on moving forward. Learn from my choices (good or bad) and keep on going.
smallsteps2success escribió hace 3 meses:
Beautiful =)
FickleFruitBat escribió hace 3 meses:
I really appreciated reading this today! Thank you.
marnimarnic escribió hace 3 meses:
I like this. Keep walking, you can do it.
ShinyFuture escribió hace 3 meses:
I'm one of those who find you inspiring. For me, a lot of it is because you are not only facing many of the same challenges and obstacles that I am, but that you, with your talent for writing, are able to articulate them in a way that makes it clear none of us are in this alone. So yeah, your success is encouraging and helps keep me plugging along. (But by no means does that imply you have any responsibility for how I fare.)
Mom2ACJC escribió hace 3 meses:
Well written! Thanks for sharing your inspirational journey with us. I have learned it is about unlearning unhealthy habits and replacing them with healthier habits. It is done one choice at a time! Keep your vision in front of you - that day will come! Also, keep encouraging others along the way as you are doing! So many are using food to medicate wounds. There's a better way through and food is not the answer. I have learned to see food as fuel. My body needs nutrients and those nutrients fuel a healthy body.
gemmaalonsoubeda62 escribió hace 3 meses:
¡¡¡ HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!🎊🎊🎉🎉👍🆙🆙🆙🆙
missKmorgan escribió hace 3 meses:
The uncanny thing is you put into words what I have been feeling for a long time. <G> I remember standing in line at the amusement park and wondering if I would be turned away from the ride and worried about the disappointment I'd cause my grandchild if that happened I never want to go thru that again It was / is feelings like this that have driven me to try to regain control over my weight. Reading your blog is helping me keep that going. Kudos to you for sharing your journey and encouraging others like myself along the way! Thank you!!
franklin505 escribió hace 3 meses:
I look forward to reading your blog. You are an inspiration to me because your so real. Happy New Year to you and your family.
izzybelle2013 escribió hace 3 meses:
I also gained about 4 lbs over Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am ready to get back to work now, and get back to goal weight, and a couple of pounds more to give myself some leeway. You should be so proud - you have lost more than half of your goal. Remember that when things get hard (when are they not hard?) Have a great 2018.
SassyCookieMe escribió hace 3 meses:
Thank you for sharing journey with us fellow travelers. Much of what you said, I also have experienced over the years during various attempts at losing the extra person I've been carrying around in this body. All those pounds didn't just appear over night and the bad habits that helped put them there don't just disappear. The bad eating habits, make it so hard to resist the urge to go for goodies and extra servings. The friend that is an enabler (you know the one who says you can diet tomorrow, it won't hurt you). All the failed attempts to lose weight in the past. So many different way to get lost along the road, it is reassuring to know that others are sharing many of the same potholes in the road. For me I find reading stories such as yours is helping stay focused, just knowing I'm not alone.
themedalist escribió hace 3 meses:
We are all two people: our current self and our future self. Our current self lives in the present moment and prioritizes the now: our current comfort and enjoyment. But inside of us all is also our future self: the person that we will become, determined largely by the choices we are making now and will make over the future. According to researchers, people who feel very connected to their future self are more likely to make positive changes in their life, than people who don’t feel connected or don’t particularly care about their future self. The woman waving back at you is your future self. You clearly feel very connected to her. I picture myself in my 70s doing a 5k walk with my grandchildren. They’ve already crossed the finish line and they tell their Mom (my daughter) that “Grandma will be here any minute”. I know that that woman’s quality of life is mostly dependent on the choices I’m making now. I want to give her every opportunity to finish that race strong!
spepper50 escribió hace 3 meses:
You are an inspiration - whether you are losing or gaining a couple of pounds during Christmas. You are an inspiration because you are logging for the world to see (at least the people on this site). You are logging your journey - the ups and downs - and that is inspiring for others of us on the same journey. The way you express yourself with honesty and humor is inspiring. But it would be unreasonable to expect you to "help" us or "motivate" us in any other way than you already do. We are each on our own journey, complete with our own history and problems and aspirations. Because of that we each have to decide on the best path for us.

Thank you for letting us know what is working for you. In particular from this post I picked up the tip of visualizing your future healthy self and continue traveling toward her. I will use that!
Grace619 escribió hace 3 meses:
Thank you for sharing your journey. I am so glad I chanced upon it while scrolling around MFP here at work (shhhh). I really liked the idea of the future self. I've touched on that idea, but never focused on it enough. As a person just diagnosed with diabetes and an A1C over 7, my time to act is right now. Good luck to you as you continue your journey. I'm so impressed with how far you have gone already! WTG! Have a peaceful and pleasant day.
lariel16 escribió hace 3 meses:
This past summer, I went to a bar with my BF and his siblings (bro, sis, and SIL). I go to sit down but I literally can't because the booth is too small (like, even for a skinny person this booth was tiny!). As I struggled to get up so we could move elsewhere, his sister says something like "Um...I'll catch you guys later." and she walked off to do something else. I don't think she was trying to hurt me--she could have just decided she didn't want to be the fifth wheel with her two committed bros and their SO's--but it still stung because I felt like it was my fault she left; My fatness kept her from sticking around. I feel like that all the time, and I'm just tired of it.

I'm doing this for myself, but I also want to do this for others like my BF. I don't want him to be on the sidelines just because his GF is too big to ride the roller coaster or get on a gondola boat together (granted, he NEVER makes me feel like it's my fault and he says he'd rather be with me). There's so much more that I want out of life and I'll do what it takes to get where I want to be!
Happysoul0317 escribió hace 2 meses:
I just love reading your blog. It really gets me a little choked up and I'm relatively cold and dead inside. (Kidding), but I'm not really an emotional person. You're right. We are our own most effective inspirations. But someone like you is inspiring too. You write, but when you do, you teach some very important life lessons about seeing and being seen, and seeing ourselves as what we CAN be. Awesome. Thank you for writing this!

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