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In response to the forum topic about me...

 

If you missed it... 

 

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/780124-best-example-of-fat-vs-muscle-i-ve-seen

 

^^It was locked but I still wanted to address it.

 

First of all, I would like to thank FlashBang for starting the topic. I know it didn't exactly unfold as you had intended but that is not your fault. I appreciate the gesture and the intent behind it. You are too kind. ;)

 

Now, there were some pretty unfavorable comments made about me, my body, and my goals. The aftermath that followed was a mix of both hearty agreement and absolute disgust. I sat back and watched some internet strangers pick me apart like vultures while others jumped in like superheros to aid in my defense. It was... incredible! WOW! LOL

 

The last comment I left on the thread was this:

"Thanks again for the encouraging comments, support, and friend adds! There are, indeed, some lovely people here on this site. Truth be told, I'm not all that offended (or surprised) by the negativity that was expressed. When I set out on this journey, it was not my intention to become society's definition of beauty. I march to a different drum... and that's ok. I did, however, hope to encourage, inspire, motivate, and, at the very least, get people talking about their own goals. If I've done that here... whether the opinions are favorable or not... then I am satisfied. :) 

You all keep rockin' it. You will get there. Remember it is a marathon... not a sprint. I have many miles still left to go myself..."
 
^^^And that is truly the way I feel. My "sport" is extreme and I EXPECT a strong reaction to the progress I have made. That's why I posted it!!! Love it or hate it... I couldn't care less. The fact that people were jumping in to talk about lil 'ole me at all was... well... humbling and exciting! I absolutely anticipate that there will be people that say "yuck" when they see my muscles or vascularity. I honestly hope they do. If they notice the muscle at all then my training has been effective. The negative opinion some people have regarding women with muscle is not nor will it ever be a deterrent for me. To put it simply... I don't care what they think. If you are utterly disgusted by the notion of wrapping your arms around a girl like me... I have some great news for you... you'll never have the privilege of enduring that kind of torture. :P
 
Seriously though, I don't get  why some people are so determined to safely straddle the status quo while sanctimoniously hurling insults at those who pursue a loftier (and perhaps unconventional) goal. Such commentary is both ridiculous and comical in my estimation, which is why I chose not to acknowledge it in the topic. I also don't understand why people allow society to define beauty for them. Being "normal" is overrated and beauty comes in so many different forms... the least of which is even based on physical appearance at all. Perhaps I'm just too stubborn to allow myself to be contorted into a pre-defined mold of female attractiveness. I have always been an overachiever. I often take my passions to the extreme. This pursuit is no different. I have never been satisfied with ordinary... I want to be exceptional.

So... to those who thought I looked "gross," you have a right to your opinion and I respect it. I have no desire to engage in a debate with you on the topic. That would be an exercise in futility. I will just take solace in the assumption that I am likely bigger and stronger and could probably take you in a fight. That is enough for me. :P
To those that replied in my defense and/or sent me sweet supportive messages and FR's... thank you so much. You made my night. There was twice as much support as there was negativity and for that I am grateful. (((((hugs)))))) to you all. 
To all my lovely friends and followers who have supported me along the way... you guys ROCK! You are the only reason I even continue to update this blog. You've been so wonderful to read along and comment and I appreciate it! xoxoxo
 

^^UPDATE: It looks like the topic I was referencing was deleted...  

27 votes + -

29 comments:

lulabellewoowoo wrote 23 months ago:
What makes you so beautiful Stephanie, IMHO, isn't just how you look (which I admire not just on the outside but your dedication and strength), but also your amazing attitude and words that you share to inspire people, and the humble attitude that goes with it. I'm now thankful I missed the thread as "people bashing" just ain't cool, but you rose well above the occasion. Thank you for that :)
tharrop wrote 23 months ago:
Wow! In addition to being beautiful and dedicated, you've also shown that you're classy and intelligent. A couple more things a lot of posters here will never understand. Kudos!
chrisdavey wrote 23 months ago:
Well said. Hater's gonna hate and jealousy is a curse.
colorfulcupcakes wrote 23 months ago:
I'm very inspired by you, I always visit your blog here for motivation. You and Jamie Eason are my two favorite role models. Thanks for sharing what you do.
LoveLiveLift wrote 23 months ago:
I did not see the forum topic, but you truly are amazing. You are a huge inspiration to me and many others. Keep on rocking it out!
soulfulsally wrote 23 months ago:
I didn't catch that thread, but wanted to say that whatever unkind sentiments were thrown your way, those words say more about the people who wrote them than anything else. Your classy response to the negativity shows us that your attitude is just as strong and beautiful as your body. More power to you!
Imanido wrote 23 months ago:
I missed the thread as well, but definitely your post makes the point, each one of us have our own goals and our own journey to cover. The idea of beauty is sooo subjective, in some countries is anything that goes above 200 kg as it would seem to indicate that you are "well fed" (no matter how healthy or not :) ). Well, to each one their own, if you find it disgusting then look somewhere else, Why waste your time and energy complaining, moaning, bashing someone else? After all there will always be, the ones that DO it and the ones that only talk about it. Well done Stephanie!!!
FlashBang wrote 23 months ago:
You are not kidding that did that did not go like I thought! My experience with my friends on this site has been overwhelmingly supportive. I forgot that the general population can be so mean. I know it is hard to filter out the negative. You seem to have done that successfully. Anytime you think about the negative, remember you have people who have your back! You and I have very different goals. I am an endurance athlete and I simply can not carry around too much extra weight for 33, or I hope someday to do 70.3, or 140.6 miles. I don't mind shedding some muscle to that end. People call me nuts and sometimes wonder if I don't have "the cancer". It is a part of the sport. For my part, I started this thing, and I am sorry! I stand by my original point, it is by far the best example of what can be done and how much healthier and IMHO better one can sculpt themselves. You are a beautiful person, thanks for having such a great spirit about it.
jetscreaminagain wrote 23 months ago:
I missed the thread but have seen enough others like it. My wall was on fire with anger over it. I have not achieved the low body fat necessary to be called names because of my muscles but threads like that about other people hurt my feelings. I'm so impressed with your classy response. You ARE amazing.
treatingmybodyright wrote 23 months ago:
Stephanie, these are beautiful words. I didn't see the thread, and it's unfortunate people are so stupid and heartless...and jealous :).
Yanicka1 wrote 23 months ago:
Didn't see the thread but I do not need any imagination to know what is was all about. You are my role model and you are beautiful inside and out.
rachmaree wrote 23 months ago:
Didn't see the thread, but have loved seeing your progress. Well written response, and you keep on, cause it is SO motivating!
EMc4452 wrote 23 months ago:
I've been following your story since early 2011. Actually you were one of my first MFP friends! You inspire so many people and your dedication is truly a gift that you should be proud of. You are beautiful and you just reminded me that I am too :) thank you!
zyxst wrote 23 months ago:
I commented in that thread, agreeing with someone who pointed out your ribs and arms. I don't find seeing anyone's ribs attractive. Those aren't muscles, those are rib bones. Doesn't matter if you're a bodybuilder, normal weight, or starving child, seeing a person's ribs gives me the heebie jeebies. The back picture, your arms do look abnormally small and stunted, I figured this was due to the camera angle and you posing.

I commented because I was relieved to know I wasn't the only person who saw these things.

I don't hate body builders of either gender. It's not a sport that I'm into. I'm not jealous of how you look and the hard work you put in to look that way.
stephanielynn76 wrote 23 months ago:
@zyxst - I appreciate your feedback. Yes, I know my ribs are prominent. I have an abnormally round/deep rib cage (almost like a barrel chest), and even at much higher body fat levels my ribs still "stick out" ... especially when I "suck in." The issue is much more noticeable when I'm really lean. You are also correct in your observation that my arms are "smaller" in comparison to my back. It just so happens that my back is one muscle group on my body that builds quite easily. My arms, however, are requiring more work and patience. Don't you worry though. I am currently training hard to achieve better proportions. These issues you pointed out, in addition to my nonexistent calves, are unfortunate genetic nuances that I have learned to live with.

Now, having said that, I must wonder if you are the type of person that also goes around pointing out other people's hump noses, disproportionately large ears, buck teeth, or perhaps even their acne-proned skin. You are certainly entitled to your opinions and, by all means, feel free to comment on them. Do so, however, with the full knowledge that people are going to make assumptions about your character based on your words. I have put myself out there and I am prepared to accept the criticism that comes with that. Are you?
stephanielynn76 wrote 23 months ago:
As for everyone else who has commented with so much kindness and support... awwwww you guys... yall are just awesome. I'm so so grateful that you took the time.
HeidiMightyRawr wrote 23 months ago:
I didn't see anything after what I posted, it was deleted by the time I got home, but by the sounds of it nothing much changed :( You responded in such a classy way though, I don't know if I could've been as strong as you are with such comments! Keep on doing what you love, knowing that at the end of it, you're getting where you want to be :)
mowree wrote 23 months ago:
Hmmm. I became a fan of yours just a few months ago. AND after reading this, I have great respect for you as a person. Well done, lady.
I especially like your response to zyxst. Best reaction anyone could have to that attack! Very mature, professional stance. They (whoever they are) definitely need to hear those words!!! And you, my friend, delivered them in such good light/taste. *does curtsy bow to you*
wolf23 wrote 23 months ago:
I also did not catch that thread and it disturbs me that people would be so callous and negative with their words. I have been following you for a while and although my physical goals are different, I respect the hard work and dedication you expend to reach your own personal goals, all while raising a family and working. My hat's off to you. You truly are a beautiful lady and I love that you don't let your physical appearance define who you are. Stay strong!
VelociMama wrote 23 months ago:
I'm so happy to see that you're okay after that thread. A lot of those comments were extremely hurtful and cruel, and they really have no place here on MFP where this is SUPPOSED to be a community for all people to come and better themselves and find kinship and support. I can't say I'd have taken such comments as gracefully as you did if it were me under scrutiny. You are one classy tough lady, and I hope to someday be as awesome as you! :)
Hearts_2015 wrote 23 months ago:
ImNotThatBob wrote 23 months ago:
Stephanielynn, you excel at everything you do. I think you don't know how to do it any other way! Keep on being the example of what is right and good and just in this world. Keep on blazing trails for others to follow!
* GREAT BIG WEST TEXAS HUGS OF APPRECIATION *
>Rob
sunshine83777 wrote 23 months ago:
((((HUGS))) YOU ARE EXCEPTIONAL!! YOU STAND OUT AND DONT BLEND IN...... THAT'S JUST AWESOME!! INSPIRATIONAL!
berry83sweet wrote 23 months ago:
I was one of the ones who came to your defense and I'm so glad to know that others did. You are amazing and nobody should call you gross. I find it ironic that the people who were so comfortable calling you gross didn't fit the typical guidelines of attractive. lol That is all I will say about that. But keep your head and up! The way you handled yourself in that situation just confirms how strong you are inside and out! Good luck!
ToniAver wrote 23 months ago:
Hi Stephanie,
You sound like you have your head screwed on just right. It doesn't matter what other people think or feel about other peoples ideals and goals as long as you are happy were you are and with what you are doing. I wish you the best of luck to achieve your goals, but I don't think you need luck, it sound like your already doing great.
Toni
momto1g1b wrote 23 months ago:
I didn't see the topic, but I wanted to make sure that you know that you are HUGE motivation for me. In fact a photo of your before/after on Flickr was the reason why I joined MFP in the first place!! So just keep on being awesome :)
crissa413 wrote 23 months ago:
You are beautiful - inside and out!! I am so thankful to have you as a friend on here...you motivate me every day to become a better, stronger, fitter version of myself and provide the best example I can imagine with your attitude. I saw your photo on Pinterest a couple of weeks ago and had the biggest smile on my face knowing the second I saw it that I didn't even need to click on it to see what the woman in the picture was doing...because I'm already friends with you here and you have been motivating me for a long time now :) Keep up the great work!!!
beardluvr wrote 23 months ago:
As I said in the thread (and unfortunately it was locked before I could really jump in and defend you), you look gorgeous, and you have so much dedication and discipline to achieve your goals. I think you're very inspirational. Some people don't like to see muscles, but you in every way still look like a feminine, beautiful woman. Those comments disgusted me, and you addressed them with serious class!
Bridget28152723 wrote 23 months ago:
people need to keep their opinions to theirselves!! They CANT DO WHAT YOU DO. Saying you look gross , is the same as saying a heavy women looks gross-not cool, and mean, hateful and on and on. I follow a women on Instagram (who has similiar figure as yours) an employee at Walmart saw her and said "ew gross" as she walked by!!She was hurt. I was raised we dont call names or judge people on whats on the outside anyway!YOu are a sweatheart , and so strong, classy and mature , keep rocking it !

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