author unknown

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The punch and the candy, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd not said, "No Thank You, Please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"you can't spend a winter disguised as a man"
So--- away with the last of the sour cream dip
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--- not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that just what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a Good Diet!