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When I have to say "Good-bye"

I’ve been trying to find the words to explain this, and find I am having a difficult time doing so without sounding like a sap, or some needy, online weirdo.

When I joined MFP, it was with the intention of logging my food and exercise. I had done weight watchers for years, and found logging what I ate helped. This was a cool, FREE tool to do what I had been paying for.

I had been on MFP for about a year, not religiously, but every now and then would login in and browse. I checked out some of the forums, but not many. I did find one that seemed to fit me and joined, and am still part of that group today.

So, what started to happen? I started to “make friends”.  I had a few friend requests in that time, but not many, and I did not FR anyone either, but, the other ladies in the group forum that I was on certainly became my friends. I laughed with them, cried with them, cheered them on; I worried about / prayed for them if they or a loved one were going through a difficult time, and they did the same for me in return. I found myself talking about them as if they were my gal pals that lived down the street.  I got to know them on a “first name basis” and not by their site name.  Suddenly, I found myself logging in to see if anyone of my friends had checked into the forum with any new news. MFP now became more of a social place than a tool. I was happy to see them there, and missed them when they were away. I started checking out other forums and establishing new relationships with others with shared similar interests. My wall was filled with interesting tidbits of their daily life. So cool! I don’t know these people, like my FB friends, but I KNOW these people! It is now a place I come to on a daily basis, to check on my friends and say “hello”.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that over the years I’ve been on MFP I have made “true” friends. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting two of my friends in person. When we met, it was like I had known them for years, which, in effect, I had. I look forward to meeting more.

So, where is all this leading? Well, when one of my friends leaves MFP, it is devastating! It makes me so sad to have to say “good-bye”.  I am grateful that they have been kind enough to give me the heads up with a private message, so as not to just disappear from my life one day. And, I do understand and respect their reasons for leaving. But, it doesn’t make it any easier. I miss their daily “chat” or encouraging remarks. I miss checking out their workouts and diaries and taking much needed inspiration from them. I miss the private messaging that would suddenly happen, during the day, or at times, late at night. With a couple of friends, we have become FB friends, so we can stay connected, but that isn’t always the case. For those that are not…I miss them.

As in “real life”, when close friends move, (I had 3 in one year), I will learn to move on.  I may establish closer relationships with some of my other MFP friends, and maybe make new ones, but, it will be different. And that’s okay.

17 votes + -

9 comments:

Robin1117 wrote 8 months ago:
I know, and hear you! It is devastating! And for some reason it seems like a trend at least of some of my friends in the past week! I don't know what it is--start of fall, new goals, new priorities?? It's tough though. I realize I need to figure out some new goals, new career, and I have let that slide mostly because of fitness. But I could never just go of this...it's such a special place w/great people, great friends...I just hope that I will find a balance I can live with to achieve all goals in time.

I had one friend a few months ago just deactivate w/out notice and it was awful for me for a week--this gal helped me find the words to say what I needed to say at my father's funeral! I mean, that's big.... people mean alot, and then gone w/out a trace...really not good!

I'm so, so glad you are not saying you are leaving because when I saw this blog post I thought "Oh No!!!"!! XXX
Kap10 wrote 8 months ago:
Wow,thats a heart string tugger, I have not lost any friends, having only been on MFP for a relative short while, but I know how you feel about MFP friends. In the short time that we have been connected, I have really enjoyed reading your feats and achievments, seeing that giant fish and writing silly comments about it. Then there are other friends ... Marnie and her thong thursday, the two K's one who has said a prayer for me, even if I am agnostic and the other who has tremendous challenges .. I really appreciate my MFP family and will be sorry if ever any of them move on.
run4yourlife wrote 8 months ago:
Well said. I do understand why people make the decision to leave. Any online social site takes time out of "real life," which is why I often struggle with finding the balance. And although it can be beneficial to keep track of calories, sometimes it can be a hinderance to wellness as well. However, it's the friendships and incredible support with mutual goals that I find invaluable. My MFP friends GET IT, and they get me....many more than my "real life" friends. It's been a rough year for me and I honestly don't know how I would have made it through without my MFP friends. I can't say I'll stick around forever, and there will be times when I'm more present here than others, but no matter what happens, I can say with certainty that these friendships with people I've never met are just as real as any "real life" ones. Thanks for being among them, Silvana. I hope we can meet in person one day! I would be honored to run with you and visit your B&B :-) Love ya, lady!
Swissmiss wrote 8 months ago:
You are so blessed to have had such close friends.
♄xenawarriorprincess♄ wrote 8 months ago:
MFP friends are awesome...so encouraging and uplifting...i can understand where you are coming from sweet girl...love ya much! Glad that you are one of my good friends...and that even when I am sporadic at commenting you still love me...blessings sweet girl!
tigerbluefly wrote 8 months ago:
I will really miss your inspiration on here Silvana, and I'm very sad to leave. I am so glad we connected and I'm grateful to this site for that. I will keep in touch on FB though, and I will get north to see you, I promise. I look foward to that day. :)
Qarol wrote 8 months ago:
I grew up in the military. Moving a lot. Having an MFP friend leave is a good analogy to that. Sometimes, when someone moved, we would try to keep in touch. But I grew up without email or internet. So it was tough. But I would make new friends in my new town or become closer to my existing friends when one of my friends moved. When an MFP friend leaves, we almost never keep in touch. But new friends are always waiting, just like in real life.
joanthemom8 wrote 8 months ago:
So true! I don't belong to any other social website - I've been resisting the Facebook pull- but this website is not only a very useful tool, it has become a little bit of a social thing for me too. I'm not nearly as involved in it as some people, and I try to stay on topic most of the time (weight loss, exercise, nutrition or related issues), but I always look forward to seeing what my "Friends" are doing and I get excited when they comment on my activity.
ABQsheila wrote 8 months ago:
I can so relate to this. I had the same experience in another online community.....I formed true friendships and supported my pals through the good and the bad times. Although we were scattered across the US, I had the opportunity to meet many of them. Over the years several of us moved to Albuquerque and I have the priviledge to continue these friendships "in person." I would have never known these folks or my MPF friends had it not been for the internet. I feel very blessed.

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