Day 20 of Slimdown - Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism
WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Yep, that's how I felt when I finished today.
This week has been hard. Really really REALLY hard! I've finally admitted to myself and to the rest of MFP that I'm burnt out. I really didn't want to admit it because it feels like I've failed myself. But I wasn't happy doing the workout anymore. To be honest, this probably has to do with me not working right now. My new job doesn't start till 7 March so I'm lucky that I have all this time to take care of my body. However, for the last 3 months, that's all my days have been about. Wake up, prep lunch for bf, feed cats, eat breakfast, meet Jillian, eat lunch, do dishes, do laundry, prep dinner for bf, tv, sleep. Lady of leisure? Maybe..boredom? Hell ya! I stopped talking to people, like verbally. Apart from updates online, I hardly say a word to any human being during the day. When my bf comes home and asks me 'what's new?' I have nothing! Of course, everyone says, enjoy this time and I really have but when Jillian Michaels become the only 'person' that you're talking to...there are issues!
I'm very lucky to have found MFP. This morning I posted a letter spilled with defeat. I really wanted to eat junk food but instead, I just decided to type. After I typed up my post, I decided to leave the house and NOT do the workout at exactly 12pm as I have done in the last 50 days. I shut off the computer, got dressed and went out window shopping in one of my favorite areas in London. It turned out to be exactly what I needed!
I didn't wear my HRM as I've been when I'm out walking. I wasn't concerned with burning calories, I wasn't concerned with raising my heart rate, I was just...walking! I check out shops that I haven't been in a while, I tried on shoes and bought myself a new pair of winter boots, I even went to a Mexican joint (seriously though...Mexican food in London is so disappointing...) and had some rubbish tacos...at the meat but not the tortilla...it really wasn't that great...but that wasn't the point! Then I spent some good time in my favorite book store looking at new cookbooks. Finally in weeks I took a breath and not gasping for air...it felt so nice...
Took a long bus ride home and just thinking about everything. It was the same bus I used to take to school 6 years ago when I first moved to London. I was at my goal weight then and it was nice. The long bus journey got me a bit emotional but in a really good way. When I got home, I didn't turn on the tv, I checked MFP and I couldn't believe the overwhelming responses I got for my post! People that don't even know me are supporting me and pushing me on and teaching me! I couldn't ask for better teachers...I felt very blessed and I cried a bit as I read the comments.
I took a short nap...then I decided to see Jillian. Not because I had to, because I wanted to. The workout was...I'm shocked to admit this...GREAT! And this was the hard DVD! I said to myself...do 2 circuits and see how I feel. Then I said to 2 more circuits then see how I feel. Next thing you know...we're at cool down. And this time, i didn't collapse on the ground and feel like I was about to die...like she always wants you feel. I felt amazing. I can feel the endorphins flowing through my body and I just felt so great! Even during those damn standing mountain climbers!
Tomorrow is my weigh in day also my rest day. I get to reunite with my scale and see the damage...I'm also really going to enjoy my rest day.
I really love MFP and I love all of your supports...thank you..
Motto of the day: With all the hatred and anger happening in the world, I'm lucky to meet like-minded individuals who support me and love me for who I am, no matter what. I hope to provide them with the same love and support for this long journey. Smile at a stranger today, they just might smile back =)