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sea legs or land legs

Leg is weird today... maybe the impending winter weather... jeez, now I know I'm getting old when I can "feel" the weather changes in my ol leg...
Anyway, it's wrapped and elevated. Still working overtime, so it's never really comfortable. Learning how to look less like a drunk as I ambulate along. I tried walking in a straight line like the make the people do in a traffic stop... I'm sad to say I'd probably be hauled in and thrown in the drunk tank. It's like learning how to start all over again with one crazy leg and one tired one. 

Anyway... we've got some winter weather possibly headed our way at last. Been in the 70's today and it's so weird in the middle of winter to wear short sleeves and no jacket... enjoyed it thoroughly. Hoping to soak up enough vitamin D to get me through the rest of the dreary week. No more sunshine after today for a while. I don't really mind the cold, I just don't like the whole bipolar weather so much. If it would just make up its mind, warm or cold, and stay there. Hmmm... something tells me it's not gonna happen around here anytime soon.

So... walking like I'm on a cruise, LOL! That will be nice to go on the big one in December. Can't wait. I hope I can stay patient in the meantime.

Had our big weigh in at work today... We have been asked to try and get ourselves healthier and lose a collective amount (company wide mind you) of two tons. Works out to about 3 or 4 pounds per person for the whole year. LOL, I think I can carry the loss of quite a few folks myself. Maybe I should have people sign up for me to lose their pounds for them. Anyway, it's no pressure. Not a forced thing or even a highly suggested thing, just a goal to help us get healthier.

So, while I'm coming clean and posting up my real weight on my personal website here, I'll be adjusting my weight to what it is now after holidays and after the leg incident... warning, it's not pretty. But at least I'm active again and going forward. For a while there I was too depressed to even look at myself in the mirror. But in looking back over my weight over the past 3 years, this is not the worst I've seen. So, chin up. Let's be honest and start of on the right.... leg. =D

Sorry, couldn't help that.

I think my favorite leg joke was one from Mary Poppins about the fellow with the wooden leg named Smith. So what was the name of his other leg?

I've decided to name mine Chupa and Cabra. The bad leg kinda sucks so it's Chupa. The good leg is like a goat, running easily and hopping over rocks and grass... so it's Cabra. Put 'em together and I've got Chupacabra.... OK. It's corny. It's all I've got folks. Lots and lots of corn. =D

Have a wonderful day because we never know what tomorrow will bring. We may have no time left for good days after this very one. So... Let's smile, be positive, and look to help others with turning their bad days into better ones. If we are able to laugh, we are able to withstand very nearly anthing.



Posting from the infirmary.....

Ick. I feel like everyone where I work is sick. And we've just gotten new guidelines for how we may use our time off for illness. If we accumulate more than 40 hours of illness, we will be given verbal warnings, written warnings, put on probation and finally be escorted out the door if it's too bad... So... everyone in the building who should really be at home recuperating from this nasty cold that keeps being spread throughout the floor is up here coughing and sneezing and choking to death while spreading germs around like we're a Rhinovirus factory. One poor fellow was coughing so loud and hard for a few days, many of us began to feel sorry for him and almost passed the hat for him to have a lung transplant... it really sounded like he needed one. =|

So, thanks to the powers that be up in here making all the decisions that look good on paper... I now have that disgusting and persistant cough nagging me too. So rather than allow a few to go home who really need to, we are universally punishing the entire facility and spreading illness like a leper colony. I'm trying not to breathe in too deeply because it results in coughing fits and choking spasms... If I can keep holding my breath most of the day, maybe I won't have to use any of my paid time off either. I'm surrounded by an assortment of cough drops, some cough syrup, hot tea, kleenex, and vitamins. If I can hang in there today and tomorrow, I'm staying home on Saturday and letting the other patients have that day to cough it up alone.

I made it through last night with a little expectorant and two ounces of a magical libation made by Mr Johnny Walker. Worked like a charm and I slept like a baby until 2:00-ish when I had to repeat the dosage. And no, I did not have any of that miracle potion to keep me happy through work today. One must be about one's senses in order to audit. So.... my over the counter array of goods and sundries will have to suffice to keep me in working order until I can go home and be more familiar with Mr Walker's concoctions. I am thinking of trying a hot toddy when I make it home today. That and about 12 hours of sleep and I should be 100% well... except for the long prodigal knee problem... which is coming along, albeit slowly.

Well... good grief, there is a draft. I'll have to remedy that. This will end my brief writing spell for a while. I've got to go find more hot water for my tea. Drinking some ginger tea with a little cinnamon and that will warm me up quite nicely. I hope it brings all the warmth to get me over this cold. Until next time, stay well. Don't get this crud!!!!!



So... progress... the leg is healing, even if it's slow....  I'm walking again... today I managed 30 minutes of honest-to-goodness REAL walking with no limping. It's slow. I'm probably walking so slow a person with a walker could do laps around me... but nevertheless, it's nice to have the leg feeling more like mine and less alien.

Funny thing, I was joking with my nephew about the leg. We were talking about the options I had if it never got better. He suggested a pirate's wooden leg. I laughed and said no I'd rather have a bionic leg like the Six Million Dollar Man... He said, "Cool! What's a six million dollar man?"


So.... I just became completely outdated and experienced the whole disconnect with the younger generation... There are certain things I don't mind about that, but it's really funny when it just hits home like that. I'm laughing. They can put every retro show on the whole Nickelodeon channel, but not the Six Million Dollar Man? There's something very wrong with that. Oh yeah, I know, it's corny and stupid and outdated... but who cares? That was Steve Austin! He was amazing! Who wouldn't want to run 60 miles an hour or see with a robotic eye like some super powered hubble telescope inside your head? OK, well, for me it would have limited uses... oh and airports would be a total waste of time for me to try and go through and explain to security what the heck they were looking at.... Ehh.... I'lll keep what I've got, thanks.

Anywho.... I'm currently fastened into my

chair working all the mandatory overtime I can stomach. It's that season again. Everyone in the world is pushing out the inventory trying to outrun the tax man. Everything from last year is finding its way onto my desk so it can be reviewed, processed and sent on its merry way to the outbox. I've typed so much lately, it's a wonder my fingertips aren't glowing.

I'm learning to exercise how I can and when I can and how to massage the legs to improve circulation and how to sit in my chair (since I'm here for 10.5 hours Monday through Friday and 5 or more hours on Saturdays. Thank goodness they'd have to pay too much more on Sundays to make us come in for that. My sitter needs at least one day a week NOT sitting in this chair. I'm learning how to warm up the muscles before setting out on my walks, and I'm also learning that taking steps too large for myself are not good for me. I need to keep the steps small and manageable. And I've also learned it's really STUPID to try and keep going if I've got leg pain. Yeah, I got overly ambitious trying to lose a few extra pounds before holiday season, and it put me on the freaking bench. Not doing that again. I've also got leg wraps to wind around my calf and thigh and a slip on knee brace to keep the thing in place and more stable so my walks will bring me happiness and health instead of pain and frustration.

Also... my hubby is now taking the chef classes and beginning to experience some of the hands on stuff instead of the plain courses he had before. We just tried stir fried chayote the other day. It is bland by itself, but with onions and peppers, it has a kind of squash like consistency. Tastes sort of like zucchini (looks like a shrivelled green pear). Anyway, I liked it. He's happy and learning lots. I'm working but still happy since the bills are getting paid and hubby is happy and the length of time left on the car payments is shrinking. So... we're learning to eat healthier both at home and out at various places. Not being able to exercise much sure makes me look double and triple at my food selections. And my body thanks me when I make the right choices. So... learning to keep a balance in all things.

I'm finding everything ties into my weight, not just my food and exercise. Not just my emotions. Not just my thoughts or habits. It's literally everything. If my closet is a mess, I'm scrounging for something to wear and it makes me feel lousy... and that lousiness spills over into my food choices and my attitudes toward exercise and how I feel or care about myself for the whole day. It also touches the lives of those around me and how they feel about themselves and their environment and how they deal with that. If they are emotional eaters (as I am) that can really put the calories out of kilter for the whole day. Then if one day is lost, the next may be too. Sometimes a whole week is lost simply because the laundry is left to sit there uncared for. So... the remedy is to make little changes in everything I do, not just the diet or exercise. It means making my bed when I get up, and putting away my night clothes.. it means taking the time to care enough for myself that I put on makeup and brush my teeth in a caring manner instead of rushing through the process and showing up looking like a zombie... it may not seem like much, but it makes me feel better about myself to do these things. It means putting up what I've gotten out, and sometimes putting up what others have left behind.

It also means me not losing my positive perspective and getting huffy when things seem to get a little off course or somebody carelessly leaves their stuff all over the place. It's so much easier if I just pick it up and put it where it needs to go and declutter the room instead of griping. Funny too how doing that for a while seems to rub off on the whole house.

You know, that makes me wonder if that's why my grandmother and my mother always kind of hummed a little while doing dishes and housework... it's just such an uplifting experience to find a little happiness and hum a little tune while working... I can't explain it... anyway, it's progress. I'm learning how to find my way and unlock all the little things needed to help me become the person inside I've always wanted to be.... a little kinder... a little more generous... a bit more organized... and always comfortable in my own skin... and really down deep happy....




OK, so I blew out the knee and tore up the leg a few weeks ago... it's getting better... but not by leaps and bounds... Instead, it's creeping along at a snail's pace. I'm sooooo frustrated! I need to be walking! I need to be able to go as fast and as long as I want to and not have to take these stupid baby steps at a stroll.... I am so aggravated!

I wish I had patience.... I really do... I see other people who have patience and I'm amazed. I have no patience with this thing. For one, it's like I'm having to learn how to walk all over again. The knee feels weird. It's much better than it was, but it's not exactly the same. And on top of the stupid leg, I've got this wretched cold that is clinging to me like somebody's lost kitten... I can't seem to shake it. I'm taking vitamins, drinking water, trying to get sleep and have finally gotten rid of the cough. But the sneezing continues as well as the hot and cold and achiness.

God I'd love to be on a sunny beach somewhere, AWAY from everyone in my family.... just lying there soaking up the sun, hearing only the quiet and getting well. Instead, I'm stuffed in this wretched cube feeling miserable, working ten-and-a-half hour days to catch us up in inventory with the mandatory overtime.... Jeeeeez....

Where's a clone when I need one???


(Don't mind me, I'm having a pity party today... everyone is invited... put on your hats, dress up in your comfy jammies or whatever you like, and do bring your own attitude... 'cause I've already got mine!)

Resolution Schmezoultion

I resolve to stop making new years resolutions... it only sets me up to fail and gives me great annoyance when it happens.

My goal this year is to continue on the 100 pound loss. Of course I'd like to have it done by December 12th for my 25th anniversary... but you know, if I make it there, I'm gonna be happier than ever, and if I get as close as I can and don't quite reach that, I'm gonna smile, and love myself, and keep on trying.

Enough of beating myself up for not reaching what I think is ideal to reach. I'm done with beating myself up. It does me no good and only keeps me from being happy with who I am. And anything that robs me of happiness only makes the real problem inside keep packing the weight on as a sort of protective barrier to everything and everyone.

I'm done with my wall of fat and fears. It's not really protecting me, just keeping me locked out of doing things I'd love to be doing. No more fat or fear bricks. I'm tearing this thing down one brick at a time. It's time to set myself free and really live.

Now that the leg is beginning to heal, I'm ready to get back out and walk again, but not so fast or furious that I re-injure the stupid thing.

So, I've stopped resolving to do anything, time to just go out and do it.

Resolve is for carpet stains anyway.... =D

Happy New Year!



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