Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be 37 years old.
Over the last few days I've been thinking about where I am, physically, emotionally, and mentally and I've got a load of things that aren't right. But there are positives to each one!
- For my birthday last year, the NHS sent me a letter telling me they were cutting off my fertility treatment (because I was too old). This year, I fancy writing them a letter, I'm cutting them off because they are an antiquated service wrapped up in red tape who haven't had the patients best interests at heart for many years. Yes, private doctors are expensive, but I don't have to argue with an untrained power-tripping receptionist to get in to see one.
- I am still childless. 14 years failing to have a baby can get you down. But on the positive side, I know I can fall pregnant, and the healthier I get, the more chance I have of carrying to term.
- Work is taking advantage. For 12 months they've been dangling redundancy (yes please!!), but now they are talking pay rise and promotion (again - it never happens). I'm taking charge. I'm moving of my own accord, the CV is officially dusted off and out with the agencies! And in the meantime, the 12 hour days are officially a thing of the past.
- Money is tight. So we've taken in a lodger! Sure, the house isn't ours anymore, but that little bit of extra cash gives us breathing space.
- Housing Market SUCKS!!!! C'mon the recovery! My house is just about ready to put on the market. Just need some buyers out there now!
- Living on the wrong side of the world: I'm desperate to move back to Australia but no-can-do until the house is sold or let! I am forming a plan though, to be back in Oz by 2014 at the latest even if we are all financially doomed :)
- I'm Fat. There's no getting away from that one! But 25lb down and counting. The next 12 months are going to be great, and I'll beat PCOS in the process. I'm at war with the fat! Fat Be Doomed!! I will burn every last bastard peice of flab off this body so 38 is no-where near as depressing!
- I'm lonely. Not in the romantic sense: I have the best husband I could ask for (and then some). My best friend died 3 years ago and I've shut myself off from the world since then. I don't go out, I don't pick up the telephone. MFP and Facebook are my entire social world and that is going to stop. 37 means taking the extra step and meeting people, taking conversations further than "how are you" "fine thanks".
So my pity party can take a flying leap. 37 is about me fighting back. 37 is about me taking control. 37 is about closing the door on all the shitty things that led up to now and only looking forward. And 37 is about me finally becoming the person I want to be.
And 37 is for thank-you's. To my amazing Husband and my MFP Buddies. The weight loss is just the beginning, but it would have been so much more of a mountain without your support. This network is the best part of the weight-loss journey!!