Netchik's Blog

Down Days

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 09:38:01 GMT

Ask anyone, I get all gooey when there's a new baby, jump up and down for joy when someone announces they are pregnant and I love having kids around. it's always been a huge focus in my life.

But 12 years of trying to have a baby can take a toll on a girl. I've never been one of those bitchy TTC women who hate everyone with a bump... If I'm feeling a bit down about it, I'll try to avoid the kid's birthday parties and all the TTC websites - it's just called self preservation.

Today has been really difficult though. A few weeks ago, I finally convinced the NHS to take me back into the Programme after they unceremoniously kicked me out on my 36th birthday (too old for Fertility Treatment in the UK). Well they've just raised the age to 40 so am back on, and apparently in the "fast track" due to my "advanced years" (I'm 37, she says, waving her walking stick).

But what if it's too late? The last 3 months have been particularly bad in the fertility stakes, so what if that part of my life is definitely over? Of course while I'm contemplating my biological clock, the girl across from me is pregnant, the guy beside me is expecting and the girl a desk over had her baby on Sunday. Everyone is talking babies. Everyone is talking pregnancy. And idiot that I am, I'm currently knitting madly to get a baby blanket knitted in time for another friend.

The best I can do at the moment is play some upbeat tunes and try to focus on anything but "tick tock". And run so hard tonight that I want to throw up. And spend waaaay too long on the boards.., maybe start a few threads on Muscle v fat, or Tae-Bo and Cheeseburgers.

Who's with me?!?

Therapy

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 10:53:24 GMT

I've recently had a number of comments from people at work. A few variations, like

"Hubba Hubba - do you have a hot date?" through to "That top looked great when you were fatter but now it's like you're wearing a potato sack". I choose to take the positive out of both these coments and all the ones inbetween! It's clear these comments have a direct correlation to new clothes vs old clothes.

I'm 5 sizes smaller than when I started, so yesterday I decided it was time for a cleanout. Over the course of 3.5 hours, I bagged up work suits, formal gowns, dresses, casual clothes and coats. Some of them were BNWT and I dread to think how much money was wasted on clothes I bought and never wore. Or clothes I bought to fit into when I got to x size (only for the shape or style to be wrong when I got there).

I advertised them on Facebook as "Free to a good home" and they were collected this morning. Now that they are out of my life forever, I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders (to go with the weight lost off the rest of me!). I don't have any backup clothes. If I start piling on the pounds, I have to buy new clothes. I have no other choice! That's another incentive not to go back to the old me. Those tents and potato sacks were never going to be fashionable!

I've saved 1 pair of jeans, so when I get to my goal I can do the "Stand in 1 leg of my enormous old jeans" photo.

This was awesome therapy. Trying on clothes that your boobs fall out of, slide off your hips, and generally look like a 4-year trying on Mum's clothes is wonderful for the self-esteem. And walking those clothes out the door; to admit to myself "Those clothes will never fit me again", was liberating.

I suggest you give it a try. It's made for a great start to my Sunday!

Ich liebe die Deutschen!!!!!

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 21:05:25 GMT

OK so like any other fattie out there, I have image issues. You know the kind - you have fat days where you don't want to get out of bed, and days where you don't feel too bad about yourself but still wear the tent that gives you comfort because it hides your curves.

And all the other days inbetween.

Twice a year, I defy myself and spend a week in a lovely German Spa town called Aachen. The Germans have this thing about bathing costumes. They think they are unhygenic. And so most of these spas keep their good stuff (like saunas and thermal pools) as a no-clothing area.

Now most of us would run screaming at the prospect. Not me! I face my demons to temper the self-loathing that comes naturally for the rest of the year. I strip off, German-style!! And you know what?

NO-ONE CARES.

Every shape and size frequent these spas. And they are there for health reasons. And to relax. And no-one is looking at me, the dimples in my arse, or the rolls around my middle. The cross-section of people would amaze you. Because you can't be judged by the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the job you hold - it's just people. It's utter freedom.

I've spent the last 8 hours without a stitch on in thermal pools, ice baths, saunas, hammams, lazing in front of a big log fire with like minded people, feeling totally relaxed. Now that I'm back at my hotel, I feel rejuvenated and energised. Plus I'm feeling frisky ;) Tonight, I own this body and am not ashamed to use it!!

You should give it a try sometime. By embracing something that would ordinarily scare the cr@p out of me (nudity) I've empowered myself. It may not last, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I LOVE THE GERMANS!!!!!

The new me in old clothing

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 17:33:15 GMT

I had a meeting with one of my Directors this week - he was nervous about it. He told me he'd been agonising over the Employment policies and politically correct thing to do, and even consulted with Human Resources who told him to keep his mouth shut, but he had to do it anyway.

He wanted to tell me I looked amazing; healthy, happy and vibrant.

I was amazed! Firstly that he'd noticed, but secondly that it had been playing on his mind! (not in a pervy way!!!)

I know I got a bit down early on in my journey because it seemed like no-one noticed my weight loss. I realise now how our era of politically-correct language, while it may protect those without a thick skin, also stops people hearing the truth - good or bad. It just stops people from communicating because we're so worried about the consequences of our words.

I needed to hear that from my Boss. Why? Because I walked around on a cloud the rest of the week, enjoying my success.

I needed to hear from one of the office girls that my boobs were always on show. Why? Because my work tops are all too big and they gape.

I needed my friend to shout at me about my shoes slapping against my feet (very annoying apparently!) - because I've dropped a size in my feet my shoes are falling off.

The brutal truth is actually a hidden gem. Because each one is an NSV. It's about the glass half full approach - is the insult a veiled compliment? I choose to think so :)

And just remember, if you have seen the differences, chances are others have too!

Stupidity and Me

Sun, 20 May 2012 10:26:10 GMT

I was incredibly stupid yesterday and had a massive crash in the middle of the day. It was an odd sensation, I felt super-nauseous, I was dizzy, sweating, my speech was slurred, and I wanted to shut my eyes in a cool, dark place to sleep for a couple of hours.

So this morning while my SO and I reflect and pinpoint what went wrong, it occurs to me that I'm just shy of a year into the new me, and I haven't had an episode like this in all that time. Not once. In fact, my diabetes has been almost unnoticeable.

And before I started? I felt like that ALL THE TIME and considered it "normal". I lost weekend after weekend where I felt so awful I didn't want to get out of bed. And if I did, I made it on to the couch to lie under a duvet until I felt better. Except "better" never came.

"Better" didn't arrive by accident, I worked through the nausea, dizziness, and desire to sleep forever. I don't know what changed, but I became one of those people that said "I know I'm not feeling great, but I still have to get this done". And I started to move. And I watched my intake. And I learnt about my own body.

And yesterday I ignored that.

The long and the short of it? I've had a crappy couple of days; all night boozing on Thursday (instead of dinner), Pasta on Friday, a bagel yesterday followed by a jam and cream scone. None of those things are going to kill me on their own, but I didn't have them on their own. It was a succession of bad choices that kicked my arse.

And that was a glimpse of the old me I'd prefer not to see again.

My SO always hated seeing me so ill, and while he fretted I'd tell him it was OK, feeling that bad made me appreciate the times when I felt really good. That was a cop-out at the time, but there is a hidden truth in it. Because today, I remember feeling that bad, and I TRULY appreciate how good I now feel every day.

Trishie's Treat's N°1

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:45:13 GMT

I'm putting together a list of the alternatives I've created in the interests of being healthier! I hope you enjoy!

Fish Finger Sandwich

I love these bad boys. Especially in winter for a late lunch, or early dinner after a big day when I can't be bothered cooking. My old recipe was 2 slices of buttered bread, 5 fish fingers (4 in a row and 1 at the top - very important!), tartare sauce slathered all over then a slice of cheese to melt on top.

Calories: 791

Carbs: 69

Fat: 44

Hmmm... almost 800 calories for what I used to call a light lunch? Here's my revamped version. It was delicious!

1 Warburton's Thin, 1.5 tablespoons of Philadelphia Light cream cheese, 5ml (just a few drops) of Sweet Chilli Sauce (Hot) and a Marks and Spencer Lightly Dusted Plaice Fillet.

Calories: 379

Carbs: 39

Fat: 14

It was just as filling (more fish, less bread) and strangely 5 fish fingers is the same amount of protein as a lovely peice of plaice!

Tip: If you're jonesing for the tartare sauce, just do it!

Stay tuned for more alternatives, would love to hear how you go making yours!

10 calories = 1c or 1p. The New World Order

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:30:51 GMT

Welcome to my utopia. This is the place that exists when everyone else has given up and made me the president of the world.

***Disclaimer: If you haven't already guessed, in this blog I shall be taking the mickey. Completely.***

Food Prices will be based on calorific value

In my new world order, I am addressing the obesity epidemic. People with no money making bad food choices is no longer an option. Because all food prices will be based on calorific value.

So if my carrots are 410 calories for a kg, let's make them 41c (41p).

Your chocolate gateau that is 1500 calories per slice, 5 slices in a kilogram, that's 7500 calories, so It's now $7.50 (£7.50) per kilo

A 1kg sack of raw potatoes works out to about 68c (68p), but your frozen oven fries are now $15.80 ($15.80)per kilo.

So now we are in the situation where we can make good nutritional decisions that atren't dependant on our fiscal level.

Spending more on a meal also has a psychological impact: I'm having a blowout tonight for my birthday - more money = more calories... I do it on occasion so am going to enjoy it because it doesn't happen very often.

Essentially, you should be able to dine on less than $2 per day, per person.

Gym Membership decreases National Insurance / Medical Insurance

Gym membership is free and they are government run facilities. Every visit to the gym goes on your file, and you accumulate points. Based on those points, and the effort you are making on your health, your National Insurance, or Medical Insurance premiums will go up or down.

You may say "but my Mum can't do the gym". Rubbish. We have therapists and pools and alternative exercise plans for anyone to get active. Only those with medical exemption (terminal patients, chronic afflictions etc) are exempt, and they will be looked after in other ways.

Clothing Sizes

Will no longer be a number. They will be regulated by shape. ie, "I'm a size hexagon, can I please have a pair of black work trousers" . ALL these sizes will be regulated by a governmental template so no-one is a size triangle in one store, then an oval in the next. Those manufacturers who do not adhere will have clothing confiscated and given to the poor.

Education

Will be compulsory until age 20. It will include lessons in nutrition. Lessons in fitness. Lessons in fiscal responsibility. And industry placement. No child will be pigeon-holed as a potential "doctor", "teacher" etc, just because of their grades. People will levitate towards what the enjoy.

Punishment

Will not be governed by "human rights" extremeists. If you break the law, then NO, you are NOT entitled to cable television and internet access. Nor are you entitled to free education. Your bills will be payable within X years of your sentence (where X = term of incarceration). You may be entitled to work whilst in prison. Making toothpicks, or doing laundry for hospitals, or scrubbing soot from car tunnel walls. This will of course, reduce the amount payable at the end of your term.

Oh yeah, and if any of the prisoners are proper eye candy, they can clean my house and yard too.

Common Sense Department

I shall also introduce a "Common Sense" Department, as an escalation point for all disputes. This is to overrule things where they don't fit into the normal rules:

"My Baby is underweight so I need to buy this fatty formula" = Exemption from the calorie rule.

"I have the flu and can't go to the gym this month" = Exemption from the insurance rule.

"My child is destined to be a parking inspector" = Exemption from the Education Rule. That child needs counselling, Stat!

I'm sure more will come to mind. For those who would like to work on my staff, there are generous benefits. Those eye-candy house cleaning prisoners - did I mention their uniforms? Hubba Hubba :)

The Importance of Goal-Setting

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:27:51 GMT

We all have an idea of where we'd like to get to on this journey, but we don't all take the step of quantifying and rewarding the steps on the way. So today I set you all a challenge.

Write down your goals.

You can pop them on a post-it note, the back of an old envelope, or create a blog entry. You can even save it in your MFP profile page. Whether it's public or private, set some goals and make them achievable. I also like to set some rewards for my goals. Enjoying a reward for your hard work, allows you to reflect on how far you've come, and motivates you for the next goal. Here are mine:

1) 130kg: Spa Weekend - met 18/12/2011. I enjoyed those pamper sessions like I'd never had a massage before!

2) 120kg: Falconry Experience

3) 110kg: Weekend in Paris

4) 100kg: Trip to South Africa

5) 90kg: Weekend in Aachen

6) 80kg: Northern Lights

7) 74kg: Wedding rings remodelled. This is my UGW, and the biggest reward I can imagine right now.

Remember these goals aren't set in stone. You can change them as you get closer to fit in with the way your perceptions / desires have changed. I've done that already, when one of my goals no longer seemed important, I replaced it with something from my bucket list (number 6).

These are big goals, but even smaller ones can help you focus. So have a think; what do you want to avieve this week? Burn 4000 calories? Exceed your 5-a-day all week? Take the stairs at work?

Whatever your goals are, they are for you, and they are the baby steps on this journey that will prove to you that you can do it, you are worthy, and you are successful.

So go on beautiful people, start thinking about it. What do you want to accomplish today? Set a goal and accomplish it. Don't let anything stand in your way!

OK I can admit when I'm being a cow...

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 14:46:30 GMT

So you know what it's like, you're in a routine. You've got your sets of gym clothes coordinated and know just what to pick for each type of workout. You can put your hands on your protein shake at a moment's notice. You have "your spot" at the gym carpark, and the staff know you by name, if not by sight to nod and say "hi". And you have your routines that give you a smooth and uninterrupted workout.

Until January.

In January, every man and his dog come out of the fat-closet and take over the gym. In week 1, you say to yourself "It's OK, they won't last" and by week two you've seen their numbers dwindle. Then the gyms and trainers start marketing again and before you know it, you're waiting 20 minutes for a machine, ANY machine. The freeweights are missing random weights left, right and centre. You can't move for little clusters of "trainees" clamouring around their trainers. Oh how I hate training groups (especially in the free weights area!).

But wait... who am I to vent my frustrations on these guys? I know the odds aren't good. I know that most of them won't last through february, let alone make a lifelong change to their habits. But in that group of noobs, is someone just like me.

Someone who woke up one day in tears, and told herself enough was enough. Someone tired of being sick. Sick of being Fat. And Fat in mind, body and soul.

There's someone in that group who has started a journey that will last the rest of their life. A journey that will make them beleive in themselves. Change how they feel inside and out. So I'm trying to stop being a cow.

No, that doesn't mean I won't huff and puff when someone already has the locker that I've been using for 18 months. I'll probably still use some expletives when I have to park at the supermarket over the road because the gym carpark is full. But what I will do is smile at the guy who looks like he's about to die on that XTrainer. I'll let the girl wheezing on the bike get to the water cooler before me. I'll patiently let the pair giggling and gossipping on freeweights know that I'd like to use that set when they are done.

And maybe I'll even share. When I see that person struggling with their demons, I hope I can dig deep and tell them it's worth it. The extra reps, or the 10 extra minutes, or the 100 extra calories burnt, make all the difference.

Keep smiling folks! It may be all the encouragement someone else needs in their day :)

My supplements & why I take them

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 13:59:18 GMT

I'm a PCOS sufferer and a Diabetic with high blood pressure. I take supplements because I feel they are a better way to balance out my hormones and the things my body is missing, rather than fill it with chemicals that don't occur naturally in the body.

Please don't cease taking ANY medication or commence supplements without talking to your GP first.

These work for me, and have been trialed, tested and tweaked over 3 years to get the balance right FOR ME. I've prioritised them in order of the effect they have had on my body. Please bear in mind dosages etc are tailored to my body weight & issues.

Vitamin D is something I lack. I live in a country with no sun, and this has had a dramatic effect on depression and my immune system. Taking large doses of Vitamin D caused one of the most significant changes I've seen when starting ANY supplement. If you suffer with depression and low immunity, get your Vit D levels checked, stat! Vit D is said to improve fertility, reduces insulin resistance, protects your liver, helps with weight control etc - a myriad benefits. I take 1000iu per day.

D-Chiro Inositol is a derivative of the carob bean, but is VERY expensive. DCI combats insulin resistance, hirsutism, helps with depression and the biggest impact I had was regulating my cycle. However, I can no longer afford to buy this, so now I take Inositol instead (which the body turns into DCI). I take in a powder form, 2g per day. Some recent studies have treated depression and panic attacks with Inositol successfully.

N-Acetyl-Cysteine is a very stinky supplement, but has benefits in Insulin resistance, it's a powerful antioxidant, helps reduce Homocysteine levels (which can lead to cardiovascular disease). It reduces testosterone and it improves the effectiveness of Chlomiphene for women with PCOS. I take 1200mg per day.

R-Alpha Lipoic Acid is more expensive and more potent than standard ALA, but a LOT more effective. It is a powerful antioxidant, helps with fat burning and balances hormone levels. I take 250mg per day and have found it has helped lower my blood pressure, in combination with L-Carnitine.

Acetyl L-Carnitine helps boost energy and endurance. Great for depression and said to aid circulation. I take 1g per day. ALC improves the absorbtion of R-Alpha-Lipoic Acid.

Fish Oil contains EPA and DHA (essential fatty acids) which help with blood pressure, it has antioxidants and helps with hormone production and regulation. It has wide-ranging healh benefits and I'm taking 2200mg per day.

GTF Chromium Polynicotinate is for Insulin resistance. I take 400mcg per day.

Agnus Castus is for PCOS, regulating cycles and balancing hormones. I take 1000mg per day.

Cayenne Pepper is for cardiovascular health and can reduce arterial plaque. Aids digestion and circulation. Best taken in powder format, but I could not tolerate this; I take it in capsule form, 1000mg per day.

Saw Palmetto is for PCOS, reducing hirsutism by targetting DHT (di-hydro-testosterone) levels. I take 320mg (extract) per day.

Milk Thistle helps to protect my liver (who's function is impaired in PCOS/Diabetics) I take this daily 8.5g.

Biotin which diabetics are deficient in. I take 5mg per day. Blood sugar levels are significantly decreased when biotin levels are balanced. Also reduces triglycerides. Gives you lovely hair, nails and skin!

Vitamin B Complex is something I take extra of, as people taking Metformin have depleted levels. Off the shelf, 1 tablet a day (with my multivit takes me to about 200% of RDA).

General Multivitamin to pick up anything I've missed!

Again I must stress this is what works for ME. Some of these things won't agree with everyone - loads of good supplements aren't on this list because I can't tolerate them. We are all different, and so our supplement needs will be different. I hope this has been of interest!