You want me to put my leg where and do what?
In the past I was able to loose weight just by altering my diet. Today, not so much. So after two months on 1200 calories and no weight loss my doctor said "have you considered actually doing some exercise?" .....HUMMMPPH...
To say I dislike exercising is an understatement. Other than hiking (which I can't do often) there really isn't anything I enjoy, based on several factors:
- I am completely and utterly uncoordinated and lack any sense of rhythm. I know everyone says that, but in my case it's true. I'm the poster child of how not to dance. I tripped, fell and broke my nose doing nothing! I was just walking and BAM! I got kicked out of a beginner Yoga class because I giggled every time I fell over. In their defense, I fell over... A LOT. In every group aerobic exercise class I've tried they eventually make me stand in the back so I don't confuse the other students.
- I have a lot of fat. Do YOU realize how jiggly fat is?!? My torso is moving in one direction and my vital organ insulation (belly flab) is moving the opposite way. A wayward boob could knock someone out!
- Up until four months ago I smoked and had for over 20 years. It's a little hard to breathe when you are falling over, tripping, and fat jiggling to the beat of "Sexy and I know it".
- I'm lazy.
So, with this new profound information my doctor gave me "Exercising will help you loose weight" I set out to find some sort of exercise that I could live with and that would not land me in the hospital.
- Exercise DVD's! I started with Turbo Jam because the woman on the commercial said "It doesn't even feel like I'm exercising!" I don't know what that girl was smoking but it was exactly like exercise. I sat and watched all the video's but strangely enough didn't loose weight, lol.
- Walking - boring
- Biking - probable head injury
- Marital arts! - probable head injury to fellow classmate
I was starting to get discouraged. I knew I was capable of doing all of the above, but I knew I wouldn't stick with it so it was very important to find something that worked for me. That was when I received a coupon in the mail for 10 Jazzercise classes for $20.
I recruited a friend to join me, I finished all 10 classes in a month and was back at my doctor for my six week follow-up.
So, as I was approaching the scale Eye of the Tiger was playing in my head........one hour of Jazzercise, three days a week, almost four weeks and 1200 calories a day............take that bitch!
Ok wait for it...........wait for it..........I GAINED TWO POUNDS! Immediately upon seeing my doctor I screech out "You lied to me!!!" Back to researching.
Then I saw a reference to the book New Rules of Lifting for Women, read it and changed my exercise goals. I want to eat more and to eat more I have to raise my metabolism. To raise my metabolism I have to build muscle.............I must aquire these mysterious creatures called muscle, muuuhhaahaaa!
I loved the book, it was very empowering. Then I got to the diagrams for the exercises. You want me to put my leg where and do what? Seriously??
I knew 100% that I wanted to do weight training instead of cardio. And I knew (and still do) that lifting would bring higher success to weightloss and my health then a million hours of cardio (which just caused pain). But I didn't know how to do it. That was when I knew I needed help.
I needed to join a gym, oh the horror! ....................to be continued.