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Uh, you can't eat that.

I love helpers. I really do. I love when my children want to help me prepare dinner. I love when someone holds the door for me when my hands are full or they notice that I'm trying to get my distracted child to not run in front of a vehicle or into a door. I love when my lovely Mister realizes his wife is on the edge and decides to make dinner. It's important to have people in life who can help you through. I really love when people monitor my diet and tell me what I can and can't have to eat. No wait, that last part I don't love. I don't like it. Hell, it makes me want to drop kick puppies. Well maybe not that but pretty close. This is a reason why I don't really tell people that I'm dieting. I'll discuss MFP with friends or coworkers but I've yet to say "I'm dieting/on a diet".

Being on a diet is a singular action. It is awesome to have support from friends and family but I need to do this diet alone. The Mister and I were planning a date for this past Friday night and wanted to grab dinner so we could just hang out and chat. I was discussing this with a group of women and someone piped up "oh, that won't be fun at all. You can't even eat out." I asked what she meant and she said "It's not like you can have anything at a restaurant  You're dieting aren't you?" I had to explain that yes, I am trying to get healthier. I hate the wording of "I'm on a diet" and getting healthier is so much more than that. I then explained that I can HAVE what ever I please, I just have to follow my calories and plan my day out. If I'm going to dinner out then I try to plan my lunch and breakfast to be light. I also make sure to drink plenty of water and eat a light snack before leaving for dinner, that way I'm not famished when it comes time to eat dinner. This explanation was received as well as if I had explained it in Latin. It did not compute.


I had a Nurses meeting at work this week and in true fashion it was catered with Panera Pastries, juice and coffee. I come prepared daily to work with my breakfast to eat at my desk. So I happily ate my Cream of Wheat(I still feel like I'm 6 every time I eat it) and listened to the spiel. I didn't even notice the danishes. But after the meeting one of my coworkers said "aw, you couldn't even have a pastry. I bet that was awful." There was a ton of pity in her comment and clearly she didn't realize how annoying it was. I told her that I could have a pastry but I already had my lunch and dinner planned for the day and that would put me too close to my numbers and I'd have to worry about making my snacks just perfect. I don't like pushing my numbers so close unless it's something that I'm really wanting. Sweets are not typically my splurge type foods. She said she didn't understand the concept of dieting if you're just "going to eat what ever you want". I just responded with an "okay" because we were going nowhere. Some battles aren't worth fighting. 


I made The Mister his Wings and Home Fries for The Super Bowl today. He hinted a few times that he would love Wings and Fries(they are pretty popular among the villagers) but would't straight out ask me to make them. I asked if he would like these and he hemmed and hawed about it and said "I mean, only if you want to make them". He feels like he sabotages my diet because he really likes good food, except he doesn't really gain weight and when he considers losing weight he will drop 10 pounds at just the thought. After last weeks bit of a gain I think he was afraid to say he wanted to eat anything that wasn't celery. I made them and made some quac and cheese dip as well. I had the real deal tortilla chips for him and the kids and I always have some baked tortillas for salads and taco night. I wasn't having them but I turned around, when there was all of this food and plenty of chips and he is munching on the baked chips. I gave him the side eye and it fell out of my mouth "you can't have that". My very cute Mister got a very cute grin on his face and said "hey, I thought that was an unapproved phrase".  


The girl who eats crow~


27 votes + -


secondhandaddictionsmg wrote 30 months ago:
There's is also the fact that a lot of people unadmittingly feel guilty when someone around them is "openly" dieting. It makes them have to remember the things they would want to change about themselves and are choicing to, for yet another day put off. It's so much easyer to keep trac of someone elses self improvement and how they are "messing" up then to, themselves, look in the mirror and get real. These days it's hard to find people who will just cheer you on even when you mess up. There are a lot of critics but remember that a lot of time the things they say are things they really tell themselves. Be proud your doing something about be happier with yourself and healthyer too!
leantool wrote 30 months ago:
to avoid this irritating remarks, when there is some eating out at work is there , i pretend i have heart burn ant stir clear of all the fried food!it does really gets into my nerves how people start judging....i don't mention anything weight loss related at work or people i'm not very close with..
dixie_amazon wrote 30 months ago:
Funny how if you blame it on a medical condition it is OK and the food pushers stop.
lwoodroff wrote 30 months ago:
for my own sanity I've never referred to it as 'dieting', as this is forever for me. it's a lifestyle change, and all about choices - not what I 'can't' have, but what I will 'choose' to have - sometimes it might be indulgent, sometimes it will be healthier. but it's my body, I choose to put food in it, and if I want a chocolate bar and a packet of crisps, so be it.. I'm just going to have to bust my butt at the gym later!
Congratulations on all your good choices, and for your hubby for making some even when you resist lol!
marie5282 wrote 30 months ago:
Even if you do blame it on a medical condition though, they still look at you with a ton of pity. Having celiac and needing to follow a strict gluten free diet, I have people all the time telling me "oh, poor you, you can't have this, isn't the temptation too great?" Sure...if I want to eat something that's equal to poison to me. But thanks for pointing it out so everyone is looking right at me and wondering what on earth is wrong. With dieting, it's double now because they're all wanting to make sure I stay within my calories too.

Just ignore their comments, tell them how great you're doing instead of focusing on what you "can't have," and you'll knock the Mister off his feet with your progress too! (And his progress in changing over to the healthier foods!) You're doing awesome!
jnieferstutz wrote 30 months ago:
I think you're doing wonderfully! Planning your food allows you to "eat what you want", and to choose to want healthier things more often. It amazes me that this is practically rocket science to so many people. (Yesterday I knew we we were having dinner at Carrabba's so I kept breakfast and lunch light, and was able to enjoy dinner and still stay within my day's goal!) Just keep doing what you're doing!
VorJoshigan wrote 30 months ago:
When people try to tell me what I can't do, I tell them what they CAN do.
lilteepot wrote 30 months ago:
I didn't tell anyone that I was getting healthy for the first 4 months, because I didn't want to deal with everyone else's crap, so I totally hear you on that... And thank goodness for a wonderful Mister who cares about your success! :)
mahanaibu wrote 30 months ago:
Nice entry. We sure do live that.

My comment is only side related, on the word diet. We've come to think of it as a nasty word meaning temporary reductions of food, restrictions and so forth. There's all the talk of how diets don't work etc.

But diets DO work--when we look at what a diet really is. Diet does not mean weight-loss restriction. What the word really means is a way of eating. The Mediterranean diet is not a weight-loss plan, it is a way of eating practiced by people who live around the Mediterranean. A vegetarian diet is not a weight-loss plan. It's a way of eating. What we are working on here is developing a new diet--a new, regular way of eating that will help us become healthier and look better. And people who eat tons of junk food are on a diet, too. They're on the unhealthy diet. Everyone is on a diet, except people who change their way of eating daily. And we're on a healthy, life-enhancing diet. I'l take ours any day.
SusanDoesIt wrote 30 months ago:
Yea, love the folks who want to micromanage what I eat now that my weight loss is really noticeable. Ok, folks, I've spent a year doing this. PRETTY sure I know what I can and cannot eat!!! Dang. And oh yes, when I explain how I "did it", or why I can eat this or that, I get the yawns, the stares, the ones who clearly want to walk away. Hell, you asked, LISTEN to the answer! Good blog.
carolstartingover wrote 30 months ago:
Iknow that I am wrong for doing this. But my oldest is about 300 pounds and when she orders a double and fries, I give her a disgusted look. It just is gross to see her eating that crap and then she has back pain , and all these problems. I have done all she has asked me to help, none of which worked. So, now I just send her a web site to go to for an interesting story to motivate her. I don't want my kids dying before me. The younger one is very thin but she has a few health problems too. I am not sure why they are extreme opposites, but I sure am glad all of us get along and rarely talk about weight anymore. Someday they will both see the light and get healthy. I pray that is true though. I again do admit to staring at people who are obese, eating tons of food. I need to stop the habit. They are not my business to judge. Thanks for the blog.

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