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1000 Days of Fitness

DavidI am coming up on 3 years of creating the new me. In terms of pounds, it's working! Ummmm... some people like me better and some people have stopped talking to me. I guess I can understand that they don't want to hear about calories, inches and exercise.
 
Maybe I should not have ended my dissertation on health and fitness with, "see you at the funeral."

Like my wife, lots of people start their journey with a New Years's resolution. She was looking pretty hot after a month in the gym. So, I thought I would join her in almost puking on the gym floor twice a week. I should have put my water bottle on the floor so I could reach it more easily, and purchased an oxygen bottle.

Today I am down nearly 80 pounds, and despite the last bit of belly fat, I have been maintaining for nearly 2 years.

I have overcome heart disease, stopped taking all but a small dose of blood pressure meds, and except for the current bout with cancer, I have not even had a cold.

Because I mostly post running pictures on Facebook, a lot of people wrongly assume that lots of miles = weight loss. It's not true.

Here is what I do to get started, stay motivated and end up in the best health I have been in since I was a teenager.

-1 Bought new underwear
-2 Saw a nutritionist
-3 Started running
-4 Stopped eating fast food - well, I did go to Five Guys twice
-5 Gave up white flour products
-6 Got a food scale
-7 Limited white rice and potatoes to 1 cup once a month
-8 Got a trainer
-9 Had a heart attack
-10 Ate more fish, whole grains, low-fat dairy, fruit, veggies and nuts
-11 Ran a 5K
-12 Had knee surgery
-13 Got fitted for running shoes
-14 Cut my carbs, increased my protein (currently at 35% carbs / 35% protein / 30% fat)
-15 Never had a cheat day or meal, though I managed well on holidays
-16 Logged my food
-17 Cut my portions of meat, poultry and fish to 1-5 oz.
-18 Made mistakes
-19 Stayed out of the forums except for the "Would you date the person above you?" ones
-20 Never gave up no matter what the scale said
-21 Ran a marathon
-22 Signed up for the Boston Marathon 2014
-23 Signed up for the San Francisco Marathon 2014
-24 Signed up for the Chicago Marathon 2014

Those are my secrets. What are yours?

Thanks for the votes and comments, I always appreciate them.

January Gym Chaos

It's the new year, and the resolute are amongst us again. It's an unfortunate truth, but some will not succeed at losing weight. Great for the ones who come and stay, but a study showed that the average newbie attends about 14.7 times before goving up.

I am undecided at what to call these gym-going-gargantuan-ghouls. It would be all well with the regulars if the temporary tubs would at least leave us a parking space.

For the next few weeks, it's war!

Here are a few tricks I employ to get to get an exercise machine pretty quickly. Just look for folks wearing sweat pants with the price tags still attached and the size sticker on the rear end.

- The Unplug Trick: Drop your water bottle and unplug the treadmill as you pick it up. When they get off looking for another machine, plug it in and jump on.

- The Fake Sign-Up Sheet Trick: Print your own sign-up sheets and point feverishly to your name pretending to speak a foreign language. If they answer you back in a foreign language, just move on.

- The Safety Lanyard Trick: Just give it a little yank, when they are fiddling with their iPod. You can re-fasten it after they go looking for another elliptical and you are on your way.

- The Odor Trick: Put on some stinky stuff. I am sure they must have something wonderful at Bass Pro Shops. Hey, you are going to take a shower anyway.

- The Fart: This is not a trick, but a wonderful tool employed in a similar fashion to skunks and octopi. If you can't get one in the chamber, record your husband and play it back from your iPod - just look sheepishly embarrassed and you are in like Flint.

- The Fake Sign Trick: Tape an "Out of Order - Unsafe" sign to the machine while you go and hang up your coat. Trust me, it will be empty when you get back. You might even have time to use the rest room too.

- The Staff Shirt Trick: I go to the YMCA and all the trainers wear medium-blue t-shirts with white silk screened lettering. I have one from Myrtle Beach that looks just like them. I often get asked how to use machines when I wear it. It's like wearing a red golf shirt at Target! Just walk over say; "I'm sorry this machine is reserved for another member."

- The Heart Rate Monitor Trick: Did you know that Precor fitness machines and many others can receive a BlueTooth signal from your heart rate monitor? You can simulate this with any Android or iPhone. I just set the threshold to 280 and wait for the screams. I am working on a program to reset the mileage and calories too.

- The "Problem" at the Front Desk Trick: Simple but effective - you show up in your pseudo-staff shirt and tell someone there is a problem with their membership and please report to the front desk to straighten it out. Bingo, free elliptical.

- The Reverse Pick-Up Trick: You need to stalk a newbie that is way out of your league (easy for me). You just start using some pick-up line like "I just did a Marathon last week, it was the Christmas Story on TBN." Pretty quickly they are grossed out and viola, a stationary bike with a warm seat.

- The "See That Guy" Trick: You find a newbie on a machine that is in the line-of-sight of the free-weight room. You say, "See that guy/gal over there benching 450 lbs? This is his/her personal machine." Then wink and nod your head in his/her direction.

- The "Let Me Show You" Trick: I love this. You need to make sure you know what you are doing, or be a good Balderdash player. (I'm the champ of that game!) You tell the unsuspecting noob that they are using the machine incorrectly. They stop the machine and you get 30 minutes to impress them with your knowledge! If you are really good, they'll even fill your water bottle up while you chatter away.

- The "I Have MRSA" Trick: Grab a sanitary wipe on one side of the gym, and find a noob just getting on for a jog on the other. Walk over and say: "I have MRSA, and I wanted to wipe down the treadmill before someone else got on." Shrug your shoulders. If it doesn't work immediately, you might have to explain how there is no treatment for this type of staph infection.

Thanks for all the comments and votes. Friend me at your own risk.
 
Happy New Year, and good luck. I do hope you stick with it!
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