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Why Men Lose Weight More Easily than Women, Really

I have seen a lot folks say that men lose weight more quickly than woman. That's not all they do more quickly; it is the micro-wave vs crockpot analogy.

 As usual, I have few thoughts that are shrouded in stupidity, and flavored with a dash of truth.

- Clothes: Men don't by clothes in sizes. If man goes from a size 12 to an 8, it is because he cut off his foot in a logging accident.

- Gastric Bypass (Flagilation): Men just fart more, sometimes signifcanty reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation.

- Muscles Mass: Men have a few more places to put muscles. For example, the mouth. (Please refer to the anatomy chart below for additional locations).

- Unplanned Trips: These genrally come in the form of bread and milk. However; they can be for diapers, baby formula - and when the woman are away, beer. Each trip is worth about 100 calories.

- 12 or 16 oz. Curls: This is a body bulding technique that most woman are unwilling to undertake because it requires the lack of small children, morals and brain power to accomplish. It comes in many forms, but most MFP-ers would call it Bud or Miller Lite. I think it is in the cardio search.

- Yelling: They yell at the TV more than woman. Politics, sports, and the Hunting Channel give you more to yell about than the Ellen, Lifetime and Disney. This is also in the cardio search.

- Scotch: It's a replacement for protein shakes. When used in excess, it not only keeps the male from eating, but in severe cases performing all but the most basic bodily funtions including reverse peristalsis which counts as -10 calories consumed.

- Faster Motabolism: It is true, most men burn caloires more quickly than woman, particualry around the time the Sports Illustraded Swimsuit issue is published.

- Relating to Food: In general woman tend to be more emotional about food, where the majority of men are not willing to admit to having any emotions.

- Sex: When men think of romance, they are not thinking about food, going out to dinner etc. This is a huge calorie saver.

Thanks for voting, commenting and reading along. You guys and gals are great!

Friend me if you like, although you might be sorry you did. ;)

103 votes + -

26 comments:

aliciagetshealthy wrote about 3 years:
And somehow, throughout history, men have been thought to be the smarter sex! - well, at least by other men =) ...apparently they are just gas-ier and run women out of the conversation ;)
cocodragonz420 wrote about 3 years:
lol
GentlyLosing wrote about 3 years:
"Men just fart more, sometimes signifcanty reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation."

Now that right there is funny, I don't care who you are!!!
thunt1990 wrote about 3 years:
Hahaha this is hilarious!
dianaskin wrote about 3 years:
too funny!!!
ImKindOfABigDeal40 wrote about 3 years:
Very funny
ncole3 wrote about 3 years:
LMBO!! You are funny!
Snowridesbikes wrote about 3 years:
Always funny!
manderson27 wrote about 3 years:
Burned a few calories laughing at this.
DynamicDiva wrote about 3 years:
very funny
momof8munchkins wrote about 3 years:
lol!
SDkitty wrote about 3 years:
Ha ha! Too cute!
Mios3 wrote about 3 years:
Ha!
linda1243 wrote about 3 years:
That is hilarious!
thurberj wrote about 3 years:
I needed a laugh this afternoon! Thanks!!
rschmmidt wrote about 3 years:
I voted yes just because I liked the phrase "reverse peristalsis". Very funny!
LendaJ wrote about 3 years:
He ain't wrong! LOL Good article.
ketrell wrote about 3 years:
Lol
fitzie63 wrote about 3 years:
One more, very important reason: TESTOSTERONE.
sk2775 wrote about 3 years:
lol!!
muitobem wrote about 3 years:
Too funny!!!
cressievargo wrote about 3 years:
hilarious!
babygurl48 wrote about 3 years:
Too funny!!..lol...
shalae1 wrote about 3 years:
Always make me laugh! Nice for the Cardio, lol
chaoticlove wrote about 3 years:
LOL! Funny!
PhatGirl1989 wrote about 3 years:
LOL, that was too awesome!

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