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Why Men Lose Weight More Easily than Women, Really

I have seen a lot folks say that men lose weight more quickly than woman. That's not all they do more quickly; it is the micro-wave vs crockpot analogy.

 As usual, I have few thoughts that are shrouded in stupidity, and flavored with a dash of truth.

- Clothes: Men don't by clothes in sizes. If man goes from a size 12 to an 8, it is because he cut off his foot in a logging accident.

- Gastric Bypass (Flagilation): Men just fart more, sometimes signifcanty reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation.

- Muscles Mass: Men have a few more places to put muscles. For example, the mouth. (Please refer to the anatomy chart below for additional locations).

- Unplanned Trips: These genrally come in the form of bread and milk. However; they can be for diapers, baby formula - and when the woman are away, beer. Each trip is worth about 100 calories.

- 12 or 16 oz. Curls: This is a body bulding technique that most woman are unwilling to undertake because it requires the lack of small children, morals and brain power to accomplish. It comes in many forms, but most MFP-ers would call it Bud or Miller Lite. I think it is in the cardio search.

- Yelling: They yell at the TV more than woman. Politics, sports, and the Hunting Channel give you more to yell about than the Ellen, Lifetime and Disney. This is also in the cardio search.

- Scotch: It's a replacement for protein shakes. When used in excess, it not only keeps the male from eating, but in severe cases performing all but the most basic bodily funtions including reverse peristalsis which counts as -10 calories consumed.

- Faster Motabolism: It is true, most men burn caloires more quickly than woman, particualry around the time the Sports Illustraded Swimsuit issue is published.

- Relating to Food: In general woman tend to be more emotional about food, where the majority of men are not willing to admit to having any emotions.

- Sex: When men think of romance, they are not thinking about food, going out to dinner etc. This is a huge calorie saver.

Thanks for voting, commenting and reading along. You guys and gals are great!

Friend me if you like, although you might be sorry you did. ;)

103 votes + -

26 comments:

aliciagetshealthy wrote 34 months ago:
And somehow, throughout history, men have been thought to be the smarter sex! - well, at least by other men =) ...apparently they are just gas-ier and run women out of the conversation ;)
cocodragonz420 wrote 34 months ago:
lol
GentlyLosing wrote 34 months ago:
"Men just fart more, sometimes signifcanty reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation."

Now that right there is funny, I don't care who you are!!!
thunt1990 wrote 34 months ago:
Hahaha this is hilarious!
dianaskin wrote 34 months ago:
too funny!!!
ImKindOfABigDeal40 wrote 34 months ago:
Very funny
ncole3 wrote 34 months ago:
LMBO!! You are funny!
Snowridesbikes wrote 34 months ago:
Always funny!
manderson27 wrote 34 months ago:
Burned a few calories laughing at this.
DynamicDiva wrote 34 months ago:
very funny
momof8munchkins wrote 34 months ago:
lol!
SDkitty wrote 34 months ago:
Ha ha! Too cute!
Mios3 wrote 34 months ago:
Ha!
linda1243 wrote 34 months ago:
That is hilarious!
thurberj wrote 34 months ago:
I needed a laugh this afternoon! Thanks!!
rschmmidt wrote 34 months ago:
I voted yes just because I liked the phrase "reverse peristalsis". Very funny!
LendaJ wrote 34 months ago:
He ain't wrong! LOL Good article.
ketrell wrote 34 months ago:
Lol
fitzie63 wrote 34 months ago:
One more, very important reason: TESTOSTERONE.
sk2775 wrote 34 months ago:
lol!!
muitobem wrote 34 months ago:
Too funny!!!
cressievargo wrote 34 months ago:
hilarious!
babygurl48 wrote 34 months ago:
Too funny!!..lol...
shalae1 wrote 34 months ago:
Always make me laugh! Nice for the Cardio, lol
chaoticlove wrote 34 months ago:
LOL! Funny!
PhatGirl1989 wrote 34 months ago:
LOL, that was too awesome!

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