Why I Hate Running
I managed to get one cup in between 6:30 and 7:00; that is just not enough! The lack of caffeine can ruin a whole freakin' morning in a matter of minutes!
It's one of the reasons I hate running.
Today was my 5 mile run training day ** and I wasn't off to a good start. I enjoyed a few minutes of the news and then a pile of political ads came on so I got dressed to run. I feel sort of weird being naked in front of my wife and then walking out the door, but a man has to do what a man has to do. Besides, she called my Nike Combat running underwear
I kissed her goodbye - I mean you never know if I will come home - and fiddled with my running app on the way downstairs to get my headphones and SmartPhone arm holder. Arm holder sounds like my arm disconnects and needs some support, but arm band sounds like I am a terrorist - but I digress.
I made a pit stop before heading out the door. It was then I noticed trouble on the horizon.
I opened the front door and got a blast to the cool, crisp fall air that gave my nipples an appreciation for my female counterparts.
I try not to run in the same place because it's boring, although; I do have 2 lakes which are always quite beautiful, so I include them. A few days ago I mapped a bunch of runs in my neighborhood in varying distances from 3 to 13 miles. This morning I couldn't remember how the heck to start my 5-miler. As I was bouncing down the sidewalk to warm up, I just decided to run and listen to my GPS in the headphones.
I did a short brisk walk (not the walking the dog walk!) and some stretching on the sidewalk which, always seems to garner the attention of old ladies that want to ask if I am alright. "You look a little pale, sir."
"Yes, well that's because I am freezing my nipples off, but thank you for your concern."
I started down the sidewalk to the likes of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. It was then I noticed my right shoe was loose, so I stopped to tie it. Back on pace I headed up the hill towards the lake in time to see the sea smoke clearing in the dawn's early light
It was cold, and my shin started with this weird pain. I made a mental round of all my joints to see how things were. Too many to count, so I decided to focus on the music. Then my shorts started falling down. Due the low levels of caffeine, I guess I didn't tie them after my pit stop. Instead of stopping I decided to retie them while running at 8 miles per hour. I caught a chest hair in the knot and let out a loud scream. The pain easily eclipsing the shin pain!
I started to settle in after about 2 miles. Unfortunately it was trash day in one of the neighborhoods and for the next mile I dodged stinky cans on the crowded sidewalks. On one lawn I stepped on a stick which fought back by puncturing my right shin.
My new route took me by a school where I met a very nice crossing guard with her hand holding a cup of hot coffee and her other thumb you know where. She didn't seem too interested in doing much to help. I stepped into the crosswalk without her assistance because I am big boy. It was there a school bus ran the light and cut me off. I let out a string of expletives which seemed to get everyone's attention! I muttered, "Forgive them Father, they just don't know how stupid they are." and headed down the road.
With about a mile or so to go, I just wanted to get home and log my efforts because my MFP friends will think I am awesome for not dying this morning.
I hate running, I thought. I trudged on.
Somewhere in the last mile I began to think about how inviting the bathroom was going to be when I got in the door. Thinking about it, I might change my weigh in day to today...
As I slowed to a walk a block from my house, the endorphins starting talking to me, and that's why I love running!
** Some of you know that I am training for a half marathon on Sunday, October 28th. I have been using Hal Higdon's Novice 2.
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