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The Futility of Despair

Endless hopeless threads on MFP.  Desparately Seeking Answers; self-loathing, exhaustion, and resignation to futility.

"Why is this so hard," they ask.
People reply, "it is not."

Seeking empathy, they despair at apathy; no instructions, no solution.

Bona fide difficulty in a supposedly simple thing.   It is not easy, thus the conclusion is existence of some fundamental flaw; a difference between Them and People.

1. Wake.
2. Make good decisions.
3. Sleep.
4. Go to 1.

Good decisions are personal and relative.

Alice wakes and eats breakfast, she's satisfied until a reasonable lunch. Bob eats breakfast, hunger pangs cause a binge. Charlie eats nothing but breakfast and loses self-control at dinner. Dave skips breakfast and doesn't notice hunger until dinner; eats the right amount for him, then sleeps.

Which are you?  Why ask People?  People don't know.

Quantity and proportion of cardio and strength. Optimal macronutrient ratios.  Meals or snacks.  Infinite, highly personal calibration which defies definition.

There are no solutions in despair.  Like calibration, it is infinite; there is no bottom and certainly no answers on the way down.

Look up.

Success is a function of patience, consistency and tailoring.

"Why is this so hard?"
"It is not."

76 votes + -

25 comments:

_gypsyrunner_ wrote 1 month ago:
"Make good decisions." Perfect.
delicious_cocktail wrote 1 month ago:
^^^ :*) thank you. I'm trying to give myself good advice, from the place within me that used to be more successful. I've gotten way, wayyyyyy off course with my own goals. "It is hard" has come up in my mind. It was once easy, though. What was the difference? Good decisions, consistently. Not dramatic ones. Not painful ones. Not self-deprivation. Just normal boring little good decisions, where my natural inclination favors bad ones.
ihad wrote 1 month ago:
It Stands for Hope.
mank32 wrote 1 month ago:
<3 <3 <3
BikerGirlElaine wrote 1 month ago:
You may be writing for yourself, but it helped me as well.
kutterba wrote 1 month ago:
Goodness! You in your musings have discovered what I have learned in 65+ years!
For me, as a women, I had the hormones to "fight,"(work with?) also, but you learn how your body works and work with it. It WAS once easy! It can be easy only when you keep your goals in mind. Make normal, boring, GOOD little decisions.
Thank-you for this - it is excellent.
Zombieinkpot wrote 1 month ago:
Great blog post.

Depression has taught me that it doesn't matter if it feels easy or hard, you just do it or you don't, and you own your decision either way.
BrainyBurro wrote 1 month ago:
i tell people in the forums that losing weight isn't hard. sometimes people argue with me about that and claim that it's really hard, but they are wrong. losing weight is easy. the math is simple. the concepts are simple. what's hard is making a plan and sticking to it for a week, a month, a year. so yes... losing weight isn't hard at all. putting in the time for exercise and logging and doing it day in and day out until you get where you want to be? that's another matter.
Cranquistador wrote 1 month ago:
one choice at a time.
ssaraj43 wrote 1 month ago:
I love when you write <3
pb053 wrote 1 month ago:
easier said than done
Phaedra2014 wrote 1 month ago:
I think the ones who get so lost and confused are the ones without a plan. This IS work. You need a plan.
delicious_cocktail wrote 1 month ago:
pb053 - perfect is the enemy of good
Myhaloslipped wrote 1 month ago:
This reminds me of those Special K commercials. "One good decision leads to another and another and so on." This is how I started with getting myself together, and it works.
fivethreeone wrote 1 month ago:
I love this. Thank you for writing.
fivethreeone wrote 1 month ago:
pb053- Doing is easy, too. Continuing to Do is the difficulty.
idgaf14 wrote 1 month ago:
This is pretty much how I function now. I've removed all feelings about what needs to be done and I chose the option that gives me the result I want.
Sparky1030 wrote 1 month ago:
Without trying to sound cold and callous some of us need the moral support to keep us on track. No plan works for everyone so each person on their weight loss journey may need more support/suggestions than someone else. Just my opinion. I don't like to categorize people or feelings we are all human and different needs and meet them in whatever way suits us.
heartworth9 wrote 1 month ago:
MFP is the plan. It is the ultimate in accountability. It is clean mathematics, if honest in one's calculations
consistently. The body begins to feel better, stronger and more energetic. Quality of fuel counts. Quality of sleep counts. Dealing with fluctuating emotions counts. It is never just simple math. Keep it simple. Think about what you want and how much more vibrant and energetic your body is becoming and why you want this new body. Upstream thinking aka, this is hard, how long is it going to take to get there, why cant I eat what I want, what is my balance point, blah blah blah. Downstream thinking, wow today is a brand new day, every day is slightly different, every day I am slightly different and I have a great opportunity to show myself love, kindness, self-respect and I can nourish myself in a variety of ways, beyond food!
Joannesmith2818 wrote 1 month ago:
Great post. Many look to others, but the solution lies with themselves!
swat1948 wrote 1 month ago:
Mostly patience and just plain plugging away at doing the right thing! No, it's not hard if you can just hang in there and find out what works for you. Terrific blog!
George_Baileys_Ghost wrote 1 month ago:
*bows to the honorable Pai Mei*
jovo2013 wrote 1 month ago:
Nice poetic post
Fsunami wrote 1 month ago:
pb053 - "do or do not, there is no try"
yoovie wrote 1 month ago:
because when PEOPLE answer with this, we get reported to the mods for attacking THEM.

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