Ok I know I am not the first fat person in the world to feel this way. But I HAVE to have my bitch session. I dont know why, but hey, I am woman, I need to bitch every now and then. hehe
Do you ever have those moments when you can feel someone looking at you and they are projecting this feeling of judgement right at you? I am talking about the all consuming 'someone is hating on me because I am fat' feeling? I really hope it isnt just me lol.
There are times in the store, I will have my cart loaded with a variety of food. Most of it good choices, some not. And I get REALLY insecure when there arent good choices immediantly showing there. I will catch someone glimpsing at my cart then at me and its like all over their faces 'oh...no wonder she has THAT in her cart. she is fat'. Anyone else ever experience those moments? Unbeknownst them, I am a homeschool mother who runs our local homeschool events for the teenagers, and YES I just bought a HUGE-ass bucket of cheeseballz for them! Back off! You DONT know me! (I hate cheeseballz lol). But people automatically assume I am sitting in my living room downing pounds of fat while snarling and growling at anyone who might come between me and my effin food. NOT!
Or how about those times when your in the car and eating? Stopping at a light and stuffing something (whether its homemade or a healthy choice from fast food which I practically never do, but you get the point) down so I dont starve while running errands, and the middle aged balding jerk with a bad comb over in his stupid corvette is giving you THAT look?
Not to mention, health insurance companies, flights, restaurants and their pathetically spaced booths, clothing lines, car manufacturing companies (stupid ass stearing wheel lol) and all the other of millions of places I could list but wont.
My question is this....if we, as a nation, recognize that we have a serious obesity issue, then why the hell arent things more accessible for us? Seriously, would a waitress seat someone in a wheel chair at a booth? No, cause I used to be a waitress. We know better. We seat them at a table. Why on Gods green earth would other people WANT to humiliate other people, who obviously have bad selfesteem (since they are so overweight its kind of a given) by making them SQUEEZE into a booth?!? (which by the way is no longer a problem for me!! Yay me!!)
Yes I recognize that I got this way by my own choice. Yes I recognize that I need to change me, not the world. But I still have compassion in my heart for others. NO MATTER WHAT THEIR ISSUE IS. INHERITED, SELFINFLICTED, ACCIDENTAL, ALL OF IT! I personally would never treat someone like I was better than them because I looked better, was smarter, richer, or born with better genes, or could fit in a booth better than them!
The sad thing is, that most skinny people assume us fat people sit around all day long shoving food in our mouths. I have never had an overeating eating problem (not really bad anyways). My weight is due to genes, lack of exercise and bad food choices. I have never just sat around shoving food in my mouth. Most of us dont. Heck, I have never been completely inactive either. I have always made myself walk 'normally' and not waddle (I have great leg strength because of it hehe).
In fact, most people that are around me on a regular basis have always been surprised I am as overweight as I am. Well duh! Its called a slow metabolism, not gorging on fried foods and icecream! Most of these skinny people would be cows too if their metabolism wasnt in over drive genetically speaking LOL
I dont know, maybe I am all alone in feeling this way. And no I am not paranoid, I know the world isnt watching every move I make and constantly judging me. It just SEEMS like it periodically.
We are all wonderful people...fat, skinny, smart, stupid, ugly, smelly, funny, sad...whatever. And we all deserve to be loved and accepted for who we are inside, not what the media portrays us to be....
Ok I feel better now! LOL I love all of my MFP friends!!! I wouldnt choose any other group to be in this with!