So I was just posting on my home page how happy I was with my weight loss journey with MFP and all the wonderful people I have as friends here. There is something magical about surrounding yourself with like minded people. Ok well not physically surrounding but you know what I mean. Most of my life I have been huge. I lost some weight with Jenny Craig when I was 14. Lost most of my weight when I was in my late teens in a VERY unhealthy way. That was all temporary. And I never had many friends who were as big as me. Even within my extended family there werent very many who were much overweight. My mom was to some extent, but not morbidly so like me. She was always there to try and encourage me though.
Within my family there hasnt been much understanding either. My husband is exNavy and has always had a lean muscular body (mind you I am not complaining lol) and even my son, who started gaining weight at 11, had enough will power at 12 to lose his weight. Talk about a blow to my selfesteem! Not that I am not proud and happy for him to be 15 and at his ideal weight. But it dang, my own kid had more willpower than me! One of my stepdaughters is just like my husband...perfect body. I dont begrudge her that though. Quite the opposite. She is my inspiration. I live vicariously through her when buying her clothes LOL. And then my other stepdaughter, now thats a different story. She is obese too. But she has zero drive and determination to lose her weight. I find it frustrating to deal with it. I feel motivated and just dont understand why she doesnt. I see her beautiful face every day and remember being her age and I know how bad this is going to get physically and emotionally for her. I have even cried begging her to care about herself. And it isnt that she doesnt care at all. She doesnt care enough to get up and do what it takes long term. But I will never give up on trying to motivate her.
I feel that is what happened to me. My mom prayed for me to lose weight, but I think at some point, even my husband, my mom, siblings, dad, aunts and uncles just stopped believing it was possible for me. The saddest thing....so did I.
I am now 34 years old, my trigycerides were off the charts (even eating zero cholesterol, i needed to exercise) I was topped out at 300 and something (didnt bother to weigh but I think it was like 310), I couldnt sleep well without pain, I was dizzy (still am a bit) my organs actually hurt! horrid. completely horrid at 34. I was basically 80 years old physically.
So I tried to get health insurance just over a year ago. what a joke. my weight was costing us a fortune (still is). I finally had it. Last year I lost about twenty lbs. swimming like a mad lady. But alas we had no pool heater so during the winter I couldnt swim. I am allergic to chlorine and cant use public pools. Sooooo I gained back 5 lbs over the winter. Not too bad. But crap, I wanted to be thin. So this year when we opened the pool I went nuts again swimming. I lost 14 in and about 10 lbs. But that wasnt much for 4 months. But I was happy with it though. Better than nothing!
Then I found MFP after watching the woman on that show with Kathy Lee Gifford. You all know who I mean.
And here I am. So I am discovering there is power in numbers. Even with weight loss. It would make sense. Since they have support groups for people with diseases and such, and its important to find and know others struggling with the same issues from all walks of life, then us overweight people need support too. Never before have I felt so understood. Reading peoples forums and blogs is like a miniature glimpse into pieces of my life!
I have discovered how important calorie counting is. That is where I went wrong this last summer. I was eating pretty good food most of the time, just too much of it. Now that I am counting cals, I am exstatic with the results! I am sleeping better, my weight is now in the 270's!!! its been years since I was this weight! I am less dizzier, my triglycerides are down (not perfect but WAY better), and my organs feel much better :)
As I said on my homepage, I Iove my friends here. You all give me motivation, strength, enthusiasm, and friendship. Thank you!
P.S. I know I was a bit wordy, just felt the need to write down my lifes walk with weight!
Posted on 2010-10-12 by azlady7