Wow. My last entry was way back in January and here we are almost half way through April. Where does the time go?
Unfortuntely I haven't been using the time between then and now in any productive sense (when it comes to health/weight loss) and I've continued to lose/gain with the gains being a little bigger than the losses. So overall my weight is up a couple of kgs. Not good.
Work has been busy and stressful and unfortunately I stress eat. It's not that the job is bad at all, I knew when I took this job that there would be a huge learning curve and that the first year in particular would be full of challenges. It certainly has been but I'm not complaining. The job is great, the people I work with supportive and I'm learning loads. The stress is just a natural consequence of me taking on a completely new role in a new country at a new (to me) school.
And really it's not about stress. It's about me just not caring enough, slacking off, not logging, not exercising regularly. Part of that is due to business/stress but if I'm honest that's not the real reason, it's just that somewhere inside I've lost my motivation. Weight loss is always going to require a big effort on my part and unless I'm willing to focus on it and make it a real priority then it's just not going to happen.
I'd like to be here claiming that I'm back in a position where I'm ready to work to make that happen but honestly I'm not. I'm about to fly off to Cardiff for a few days for meetings and then that will back on to Easter holidays so a week spent traveling around in Wales (since someone else was paying for the flights it seemed crazy not to take advantage). Then once I get back I've got friends planning to visit and then it's almost the summer and... you get the picture, I've got excuses.
So I'm sort of checking in, not in the promise that I'm about to mend my ways, but rather as an admission that I'm way off track at the moment.
And I do keep trying to log in every day so that I'm at least keeping the whole weight/eating thing somewhere in my mind. It's a poor consolation but I figure it's better than disappearing altogether (which of course is what I'm tempted to do when I have nothing positive to report).