This isn't going to be my normal fitness-minded post, I'll warn you now....but just wanted to write all this down for peace-of-mind, and to let any of you who read this know what is up.....
Before I joined mfp to become the super-fitness focused person I am today, I was kind of defeated.
I had left my career, super-psyched to learn how to be more involved in my son’s life. I didn’t really notice it was all that hard, or maybe that this was all over-my-head, until a few months after my son was in pre-school, the teachers started talking to us about things like his “sensory issues”, “lack of coping skills”, “transition” issues, etc…..
I was suddenly sideswiped with all this information and overwhelmed with reading various children’s books on how to deal with a kid like this.
My son is super-smart. He’s funny. Interesting. Quirky, definitely. But has always been a handful. I always felt like I couldn't complain when other mom friends were juggling 2 or 3 kids and I was pretty exhausted with juggling just 1.
I think all these meetings with the school--hearing about how not-perfect my perfect child was-- is what made me lose focus on myself and start gaining weight.
Eventually we worked out a plan w/the school to work on his goals. He made progress in his 2nd year of pre-k, then kindergarten. Now, in 1st, we are thinking he’s doing great. He has nice friends. He’s learning all the good stuff, like reading and writing. Loves every subject he learns about……he still can't sit still, and isn't perfect coping w/change and disappointment, but that's a work in progress....
So these last few years, seeing the good progress he was making, I stopped reading all these crazy parenting books and focused on getting myself back in shape and happy again.
So then last month we are told we need to have him re-evaluated if we want to continue getting special services for him to work on his goals. The criterion apparently is different for students in pre-k to get services than it is for those in grade school. They now need to show “an impact on learning”.
Last week, they finished this evaluation and we had a meeting to go over it. They believe my son fits under the “Asperger’s” diagnosis. And, he’s also intellectually gifted. And because he’s too smart to show a learning problem, they need to research their options so he can continue getting the extra help he needs in the classroom....
Um, ok.
I have been hearing for the last 3 years how great he is doing.
Now as I read up on this “syndrome”, I read that my son’s life may be a lonely, sad, tough existence where he will most likely be bullied and lose his wonderful self-esteem? Great.
Anyway, I’m not sure what to do.
I refuse to believe he is going to have a horrible life, so we need to figure out how to give him what he needs to do well socially. But I have to say, reading up on all this stuff just kills me. I can’t sleep. I worry. And sadly, where last week I thought my child was interesting and we were having great conversation about things, now I wonder “Hmmm, is this part of his “syndrome?”. It’s awful.
He’s the same wonderful kid.
I have to figure out how to learn to help him without depressing myself.
I know I won’t fall back into the defeatist habits of where I was three years ago.
I will exercise every day and maintain my weight. I know this newest challenge will require me to make sure my needs are met more than ever…….
But I do feel a little sad this week, and a little distracted too. Just hoping for a little clarity to present itself.....
