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Whats the deal with the jerks on here?

Ok-

 Rule #1- If you are fat/overweight/unhealthy- WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE SELF CONTROL OR THAT THEY NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT?!

 Rule #2- If you have nothing nice to say, DONT SAY ANYTHING. Most of the people on this site are here to lose wieght- That means that theyve heard mostly everything negative that there is to hear from friends/family/mean folks.

 This is My fitness PAL, not My Fitness jerks-here-to-make-you-feel-bad-for-struggling!

And if you've lost weight, that doesnt grant you the right to be a jerk to anyone asking for help or struggling- Odds are you have stretchmarks... Take a gander at those and remember how hard it was for you to get started.

 

This site was built as a tool and as a safe haven for people struggling. This is however not a place for snide remarks, teasing, or anything else negative.

 I don't understand why anyone who's been over/under weight or struggled to live a healthy lifestyle would dare be rude to anyone here. It takes courage to step up and try to change your life.

 So be nice people! We are all here for the same reason- OUR HEALTH!

229 votes + -

62 comments:

TurtleCrush wrote 36 months ago:
Thank you! That's exactly what I try to say. I am working my butt off literally so mean people back off.
hiddensunshine wrote 36 months ago:
YES! You hit the nail on the head! Thank you!!
Bake1 wrote 36 months ago:

I dislike ( won't use the word hate) mean people !!
STACEBAR wrote 36 months ago:
Very nicely put Meg!! WTG!
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
Ive noticed it on 2 different message boards- One that I posted on and one someone else posteed on... Its ridiculous that people cant just be helpful :) Just keep swimming yall! <3
McKayMachina wrote 36 months ago:
Who's being jerky? I only ever see posts that are either brutally-honest-but-helpful or sweet-but-misguided. Do we have actual meanies hangin' around?
ADL79 wrote 36 months ago:
I agree: nicely put. This is a hard path and we need to encourage each other!
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
We do! Unfortunately! There are some people that lack.... tact? I guess thatd be the right word. Im not down with beating a dead horse. I think we all know what we need to do here... So when you ask for input or an opinion, there are certain people on this site that take it upon themselves to either act like they have never walked in a heavier persons shoes, or they dont go about their advice in a helpful manner. Weight is a sensitive issue. Struggling with it is an even more sensitive issue. If you can't approach things in a sensitive matter, maybe you dont need to be commenting on people's questions. I dont believe most people are malicious... just seriously misguided.
If you wouldnt want someone to say it to you, or if you would feel offended if someone did, maybe you should reword or rethink it!
yoshi91610 wrote 36 months ago:
I've never seen anyone say bad things on here, but I don't take to the forums often, but regardless, why would anyone say that stuff anyway?! It's so rude to go to a site that people are trying to lose weight and talk negative to them!
NicolePatriot wrote 36 months ago:
Couldn't agree with you more!
fiveferrels wrote 36 months ago:
The sad thing is when people know you are on a diet they watch you like a hawk to tell you when you are messing up or not eating what they think is right or to much.
I had lap band surgery 11 months ago, and people sure let you know when they think you are eating something you shouldnt or too much.
We are all in this together, we should encourage not beat down.
Just my 2 cents worth
jedi9393 wrote 36 months ago:
I say they know what they are doing!
NicLiving wrote 36 months ago:
Good points, but I think Rule #2 should be Rule #1 lol. Mean people suck!!!
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
I agree with you Five! I dont need anyone policing me! I do it enough myself!!
neenaj33 wrote 36 months ago:
^ 5
KMSForLife wrote 36 months ago:
Well said! It's funny how if you try to bring up a topic like this the jerks come out swinging. They certainly make themselves known. Sigh . . .
ChrisStoney wrote 36 months ago:
sounds like you had a bad experience.... I appreciate when people give me straight up truth, because I do things the wrong way at times and if it is pionted out I can change it... So I guess it is a fine line. All the people on my friend list are great, and I know they are not being mean if they see something I don't.

That being said where did you meet up with this negativity?
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
Its just been in some of the message boards- I wouldnt have nasty friends lol.

I appreciate the truth as well, but I actually had someone tell me that I need to lose a lot of weight and that I am very heavy... I was like, NAH, you think?!

For real?!
Theres a fine line between being helpful, and being hurtful. Ive seen it a few times on other peoples message boards too. One girl asked for help keeping motiviation and some guy put " Get some self control". FOR REAL?!

I dont want thinks sugarcoated, but dang there are ways not to be A-holes while still getting your point across!
middleofseven wrote 36 months ago:
I would like to see what the issue is? Whoever is being negative should be quoted so they have a chance to defend themselves. The problem is the offensive person never gets outed to the people running the site. Their are rules against such negativity.
manorexicmarshmallow wrote 36 months ago:
i looked at your post history and see that there is one rude comment among (11) on the new baby thread. Respectfully, I don't think a small handful of jerks on mfp should cause anyone to overlook the other 91% of people who are very supportive.

So by all means call out that one jerk, but I wouldn't say its part of a wider trend on mfp.
Rjdj3530 wrote 36 months ago:
What's expected is for us that need/want to lose weight to be perfect. Just because we want something that isn't part of the lose weight diet then we should feel ashamed and people feel the need to let us know. More than likely we have been being good for a couple weeks and wanted a break and subsequently will end up scolding ourselves. We (I) don't need help in that dept. I am pretty good at finding things wrong with me. Wish I weren't! LOL
TinaA72 wrote 36 months ago:
I could not have said it better!!! Thank you.
keddabee wrote 36 months ago:
Well done!

We are all here to support and help each other! Im sure we have all been picked on once in our lives by bullies about the way we look and we dont need to continue it on here!!
blue_focus2002 wrote 36 months ago:
Very well said! Some people get this chip on their shoulder when they lose weight and think that they can be a jerk to others who are tying/struggling. They should be encouraging and trying to motivate other people!
GouchisGirl wrote 36 months ago:
I was just thinking that earlier today. I've noticed quite a few comments from people that are less then nice. EVERYONE needs to read this. For those who are mean to take note, and for those who are helpful to give them a pat on the back for being there for others. :)
Shae3891 wrote 36 months ago:
AMEN!
MusicKeepsMeSane wrote 36 months ago:
Exactly! I've had a few rude people criticize my way of eating. I'm trying to get back on the right track. Instead of telling me what not to eat you should be encouraging for what I am eating. I'm sure it wasn't easy for them to start perfectly right away. If you don't like what I'm doing fine but no need to criticize me for it! People need support and motivation not people saying demeaning comments to them!
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
Manorexic- that was one instance yes, but there have been several others I have seen but not commented on as well as some of my own experiences. I'm getting messages in my inbox of people telling me that I needed to hear something to give me a kick in the rear, um negative. I don't need anyone telling me what I need. I know that. What I need from this site is support! I have my own set of wonderful friends here and that's what matters!
rm830 wrote 36 months ago:
So true!!! And, just because you're overweight doesn't mean you have no clue on how to be healthy.
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
Amen RM!
TheMaidOfAstolat wrote 36 months ago:
I've been on MFP for a while...and it seems that in the past year things have taken a dive. The boards are no longer fun, people poke fun at others, and there is a general layer of scum coming to the surface. I have gotten to the point of only responding to a few threads that I know will go well. Just keep your head up and avoid the meanies. :)
catshark209 wrote 36 months ago:
I've seen a whole lot of b itchy comments regarding thinner people. Gods forbid anyone post anything about eating too little calories because the food nazis kick their butts. There's a little clique of people that go around picking on thinner people. I've been at the point where I've wanted to quit MFP.
candicole007 wrote 36 months ago:
Amen sistah ;)
sarah44254 wrote 36 months ago:
I get so crushed when I am so proud of myself that I ate ALL of my calories for the day, and I post about it... and I get comments like "You must be retarded if you can't eat 1300 cals a day" or "you must be lying" and a whole mess of other horrendous comments. "how did you get fat if you can't eat 1300 cals" :( I would like very much if everyone could just read what you wrote here and think twice about the things they say. Because even though this is the land of the internet, words still hurt.
dianaskin wrote 36 months ago:
I think one of the biggest problems is that most people may not be here for their health, but rather to just lose weight. These are two very different goals, and more importantly two very different methods to reach those goals. So I can see how those members who are here with healthy living in mind getting frustrated with those posts that are just about losing weight and NOT about being healthy. But I agree there's never a reason to be rude or a jerk, however, offering differing opinions is not a bad thing if done in the right way.
dotmertsky wrote 36 months ago:
maybe those jerks just have too much fat in their heads - "fatheads" My Mom always said if you can't say something good about someone don't say anything. Don't let the jerks get you down. I spend very limited time on in the community here and just work on myself. That way I can't get upset with all the comments. Just keep your eyes on your goal
xaniza wrote 36 months ago:
My Fitness Jerks, I love it!

People like that are sorta why I'm nervous to get into the forums...

<3
sabattaglia wrote 36 months ago:
I give everyone on this site alot of credit for taking a step toward losing weight or better health or both for that matter. The people who post nasty things must not be very happy with themselves to put others down. They should not post anything at all if it can't be nice and/or helpful.
Kudos to all of you!!!!!
Amy911Gray wrote 36 months ago:
Love it...feel the same way. I'm not really wanting to see any of my old friends, not because they are supportive or excited for me, it's just because I don't want to hear things like "You're looking really great" or "How much more do you have to go".

I look the same as I used to, there's just less of me to move. As for people who try to make others feel bad...I'm almost positive (99.9%) that there is something that they have in their "back pocket" that anyone could slam them for--it's called manners...and my momma taught me well!!!

:)
beautybiz wrote 36 months ago:
Even though we are shielded from face to face confrontation through this medium, it is still intimidating to reveal insecurities and truths about yourself and your weaknesses real or imagined. To do so despite the fears should be met with support and encouragement.



riva1968 wrote 36 months ago:
well said Megthatgirl
annglenn wrote 36 months ago:
I can not say thank you enough. I have been overweight all my life and had to deal with family members, neighbors and class members. Notice how I do not call any of them friends.
dls06 wrote 36 months ago:
I agree 100%. I am so sick of all the bulling. I hate posting anymore because not matter what you say it is either taken the wrong way or twisted. It's like a pack of wild animals just waiting to pounce. Thank you for your comment.
Megthatgirl wrote 36 months ago:
Im glad its not just me- Well, not glad.. I dont want anyone to be discouraged by stupid people.

I sincerely hope we can turn this place back into what it was meant to be. I wish you all the best of luck, and if at anytime you need an extra jolt of pep or motivation, I hope that you can find me!
Cella30 wrote 36 months ago:
You know, I can handle the off-topics, the sexual innuendos and a filthy mouth. What offends me is to see innocent people coming here for help and are completely attacked. I saw a post from someone innocently sharing a tip become a target for these a-holes. "Grow up", "Get a brain" & "if you have no self control, you need help". If we had self control, would any one of us be on here?

WTF people!!! This is a SUPPORT site! If I had a drinking problem and went to AA, do you think people would be telling me that?

This "clique" is ruining this site. Then they turn around and brag about how they are a jerk and tell it like it is. Why? So they can seem cool and funny to their bully internet friends? How completely immature.

I can only hope these jerks get exactly out of life what they put into it...

JohnK28120 wrote 36 months ago:
If it's an internet discussion forum, it draws the negative comments like flies. Some people live for it, sadly.
julesarens wrote 36 months ago:
I just joined at the beginning of the week, and haven't been to the forums yet. Maybe I won't! I have a supportive family who love me just as I am, and I certainly don't need an online family who doesn't do that!
sunkisses wrote 36 months ago:
I love the comments where people feign not knowing of the jerky sh!t people say on here. Just because someone's being "honest" doesn't mean they're being respectful in their presentation of said honesty. There are a lot of people who spend SO much time on here that they have checked out of real-life. They see themselves as the personas they created on here.
Vgirl430 wrote 36 months ago:
Well said!!
kellyisloved wrote 36 months ago:
Wow, I must not spend nearly enough time on the forums or blogs or wherever these remarks were made. So far I've been extremely lucky with only seeing positive comments.

You are right, though. No need for any kind of comments like that. Helpful is wonderful. Honesty can be necessary. Cruelty just needs to stay out.
MrsBlobs wrote 36 months ago:
I agree to a certain extent and I put it down to MFP amnesia. These people have forgotten how they felt when they started. They've forgotten the struggles they had, the ones that brought them to MFP in the first place. It's sad really. It's very easy to have got where you want and then berate others for not being there too. Think back MFP members, you started somewhere once, you weren't all you could be at one point. Pay it forward and lift people up, Don't go round knocking peoples legs out from under them.
HannahWhitfield7 wrote 36 months ago:
Well said!
losingitforsummer wrote 36 months ago:
Well put!
SusanMarie7777 wrote 36 months ago:
I am relatively new to Fitness Pal so I haven't read any rude or mean remarks. For those who DO, STOP it. I agree that Fitness Pal is to help people not hinder them.
It is so very hard to get in shape and stay there. Losing weight isn't the problem, its keeping it off. This is a life time journey so Please do not knock anyone off their path!
KettyLan wrote 36 months ago:
Beautifully said!!!
VemmaMom wrote 36 months ago:
wow seriously people are jerks on here?? I havent been on long enough for that I guess but to the ones who are "BACK OFF" lol
great blog and thanks!!!
MyBeautyIsSkinDeep wrote 36 months ago:
Great blog!! Well said!!! I just hope that WHO/THOSE that this applies to READ AND TAKE HEED!!! This site is meant to help build and support people ,,, keep your Neg thoughts for YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE !!!
theswankymodes wrote 36 months ago:
Very well said, this is a support group, not a badgering place. There are nice ways to give suggestions and ideas on what has worked for yourself without being all preachy! I have to admit, my immediate family and only a few token friends know I even start a "diet" when I do. It is about starting a new chapter in my life and having a core group to go to when the world seems to be sabotaging you! Baby steps! Yes, I may be overweight, but I am not lazy, never have been, never will be, but my body reacts to food different than yours, so let me be! Positive vibes your way, we're all in this together!
nibbles40 wrote 36 months ago:
could'nt off put in into better words mself !!!! ive only been on this website 9 days and already the support has been fantastic, but if only take 1 negative comment to knock you back a few steps..
Jade_Butterfly wrote 36 months ago:
Amen girl. . There is absolutely no reason on here whatsoever to be rude to others. . if you can't add something positive or say something kind. . go find your own thread or your own friends to kick up the negativity. . and for those that say that is how they joke. . well again.. . . then they need to stick to their friends that appreciate that kind of humor. . Others view that behavior as hurtful and rude. . Have a nice one hon. . thank you for your awesome post.
Patty21981 wrote 36 months ago:
I agree! Thanks for posting!
BttrflyKisses925 wrote 36 months ago:
like really?! they were in the same position once as well, what on earth givs em the right?? i bet they wouldnt appreciate that crap when they struggled!

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