I still don't see it.
This isn't fishing for compliments. I'm not down on myself. I think I look great. I know I feel great. I know I'm healthier than I've ever been, and I'm amazed and proud of the progress I've made.
But unless I'm looking at side by side photos... I don't see a difference. Maybe it's because I never really felt bad about how I looked. I have a wonderful husband who does a great job at making me feel sexy, and had a great Mom who always told me I was pretty. My self-confidence has always leaned a tad towards egomania.
I went shopping today. I had some Kohl's cash burning a hole in my wallet. Got a pair of shorts, a tank top and a pair of jeans. The shorts were juniors size 9, and I've pretty much been drifting around 9s and 11s for years now. That's no change from before. But the jeans, from the misses department... size FOUR.
I only tried them on to see how far I still had to go until they fit. But they fit. A little snug, but the kind of snug that will be normal within an hour of wearing them. The kind of snug that my 10s were before I gained the last 10 pounds that made me leave the top button unbuttoned, while blaming the lack of buttoning on my belly tattoo and new navel piercing.(Those 10s, by the way, now slide right off my hips without unbuttoning them!)
I thought it was a fluke, so I grabbed a few more pair in different brands and cuts. And they fit, too. I guess it's official. I am a size 4.
But looking at my reflection as I walked around the store, I don't think I look much different than I did 25 pounds or so ago. Maybe it's just that I now fit my mental image of myself.