When I was a kid I watched a movie starring Patty Duke called “Me Natalie”. It made a huge impact on my life at the time even though I was very young. I have never forgotten this movie and today decided to search it out. I found the movie on YouTube and watched it again. I hadn’t remembered all the parts but I knew it was something I wanted to see again. Natalie is a girl that is not so pretty and it followed her life and all her rejections. Even though I hadn’t even experience those things yet in my own life, they were to happen to me in time. I had in fact encountered the name calling as a child, but the dating rejections happened later. I never forgot this movie because I ended up living her life, over and over again. She goes on a blind date and her dated ditches her at the party. I go on a blind date and get ditched at the beach. She sits alone in a car with her best friend and her friend’s boyfriend while they are making out. I can’t tell you how many times that happening to me in high school. So, as you can see, I can relate to this character on so many levels. At the end of the movie, Natalie goes off to find who she is and has learned to love herself. But I never had my finish to the story like Natalie did, until now. (OK, I'm not really finished but I am working on my happy ending.) I finally feel like I found Mary. I’m no longer the ugly duckling who sits in the background hiding from rejection. Don’t get me wrong; I get rejected all the time, I just don’t get devastated by it like I used too. I used to feel that everyone needs to like me, but why, I don’t like everyone. If someone decides they don’t, well it’s their loss. Maybe, I don’t really like them either and it’s OK.

So, why is all this important you ask? Because for 2 ½ years when I started on here I made a screen name to hid behind. I didn’t want my REAL name showing for heaven sake. I couldn’t be Mary; she was so plain, ordinary, fat, ugly and a dozen more other negative names. Who would want to know her after all!! I just went along in my days logging my food, dropping pounds, all alone. Then one day about a month after I got started I got a request for friendship. It took me by surprise really. Why would someone want to be my friend, I wasn’t special. But I accepted and my friends list began to grow. I started blogging just for me mind you and people started reading it, and my friend list grew bigger and bigger. For the first time in my life, people listen to me and cared what I had to say. So, no longer am I going to hid behind a fake name. As of today, I am going to be…..

ItsMeMaryW