So, I woke up this morning emotionally spent. I felt really lonely. Decided to take a moment to reflect on why this was.
In the last month, I have:
- Diversified my cardio activity, incorporating an Arc trainer into my weight routine three days a week
- Continue to get heart healthy fit as my cardio fitness continues to improve
- Changed my weight routine
- Continued to diversity my vegetable and fruit choices, eating mango, jicama and edamame (my new chips! realized I like crunchy foods...go figure!)
- Met four different guys and gone out for dates with at least three of them
- Went through some emotional and professional challenges on my job
- Took a trip to Milwaukee
- Went to at least two evening work-related functions
- attended two cultural events which nurtured my African-American heritage and fed my artistic soul
- attended a seminar at my old church which was a little challenging but good
- Was the lead singer on a new piece for Easter which was challenging to learn
- Oh yeah, and lost some weight
So, why do I feel so lonely?
I am not sure. Maybe it's because I was hoping that one of the guys that I went out with would be someone that I connected with (and vice versa?)
Do I feel less attractive because none of the dates really worked out?
Was it that when I woke up today that I didn't really have anything to do? I am going to attend a women's meeting this morning...no pressure and lots of connections with other women who share my spiritual values.
Maybe because I am just tired. Maybe today I won't workout. Maybe I will just spend some time with me. All of these activities have been wonderful. However, all have required quite a bit of energy--even the trying times at work have really worked out okay.
As I type this I have almost complete silence in my apartment. I have all windows up and am letting the fresh, spring air permeate my dwelling place. The birds are chirping, and it's very, very peaceful.
I close my eyes for a moment---allowing my senses to guide me. I take a few deep breaths and learn to just be in the moment.
That's when it hit me.
Fabulocity---just be in the moment.
Don't try to figure everything out.
Everything with work out.
Just take time to enjoy the journey and be grateful for the process.
Have a blessed day everyone!
Posted on 2011-05-07 by Fabulocity