My Life. My Journey. My Voice.

I accomplished a few great milestones in my journey today.                              

I want to mark them down and never forget.  Today, the day after Thanksgiving, I actually worked out for 45 minutes with cardio---and lifted weights! My trainer advised that I alternate one set of weights with 2 minutes of cardio between sets. I am now doing weights three times a week and loving every minute of it.  I am monitoring my heart rate, and am working in my heart rate zone during my cardio workouts.  

I have to add one more milestone: As of Today, (Saturday) I have worked out 6 times this week. Today I stayed in my target heart rate for 35 minutes--my total workout time was 40 minutes on the elliptical. 5 minutes was for cool down. It was a bit tough for me staying in my target heart rate zone---but it was worth it. The more I learn about my body the more I am in awe of what it can really do. I did the stretch and the hip exercise with the strap that my trainer added to my routine. 

Also, this holiday season, I have a strategy for eating during this season. I've never even THOUGHT about having a strategy. What will NOT work? Deprivation! 

Yesterday, I ate, but I didn't overeat. One think I would like to different though?Really only eat the food that I normally wouldn't eat. So, if I could do differently,  (which I plan to do during the Christmas season when I visit my relatives) only ear the food that I want---in moderation.  So, what would I have eaten? The dressing, pie, rolls and turkey. Now, yesterday I went out to a nice restaurant with friends. But it's so important to be more conscious of eating the foods that hum for me during this season. Also, I would have some really good ice cream to go with my pie!

My goal during this holiday season? Eat healthy about 90% of the time.         So, what that means is this: I have lots of meetings or dinners to attend---for example I have a brunch on Sunday afternoon and an evening event on Sunday night! So I will:    -Take time to scan my choices, CHOOSE a healthy vegetable to put on my plate, Eat in moderation what I really want  (this isn't the last supper!), Don't deprive myself of tasting interesting food---but at the  same time practice mindful eating, Eat slowly---savoring the food, Be sure to drink lots of water, Look really fabulous, Be sure to workout,

And most of all? Remember that the HUNGER for health and wellness supersedes overeating...and take time to enjoy the holidays----good food, wonderful memories and great fun!!!!

December 1, 2010. I've been eating too much meat! And last night I overate. Had an emotional night--but I think I bounced back. On the flip side, my workout routine with my trainer was awesome. My knee felt better, and overall my day was good. I was so hungry this morning---I ended up eating lunch at 10:00am. I went to a restaurant between meetings and got a veggie wrap. Didn't eat much protein today either.

December 2, 2010. Had a great workout today. Stayed within my target heart rate--and the endorphins really kicked in today. My heart is getting stronger and I am feeling better and better. I did eat half a choc chip cookie and a bag of almonds (individual serving). I am going to drink some more water before I go to our team holiday lunch and look at the menu prior to. It's at a high end seafood place. I have a long day today--I am attending a wellness seminar tonite--so this should be great!

 December 2 and 3, 2010. Workouts on both days were good. The trainer increased my reps on the pecs and gave me a new routine for my side abs. Today and yesterday I noticed that my thr is increasing and my workouts are as hard. I am loving how confident I am on the cycle. This is coming from a woman who hated the bike! Yesterday we had a holiday lunch at a seafood restaurant. I had a cobb salad with crab, shrimp, avacado and scallops. There was also blue cheese---including the dressing. I got the dressing on the side---we shared two desserts between all of us. I really wasn't hungry during lunch but I ate anyway. I knew that I wouldn't have the opportunity to eat again. Something interesting.  The trainer has me do a cool down after my weights. No one has ever had me to do that. It makes a difference in how my leg feels! December 3 I also did 49 minutes of cardio--and weights! LOVE IT! That's a first!

I am motivating myself to do this! 

I had a wellness seminar after work---didn't have time to eat. So, I went to starbucks, got some coffee and a bag of one serving chips becuase I was so famished. Later on, I had some toast with diet margarine. I didn't want to eat too much because it was almost time for bed.

I am noticing that my appetite is really increasing after I workout. Today, I ate my spaghetti squash (with high grade olive oil, fresh crimini mushrooms, parmesan cheese and organic tomato paste) and almonds. Yum!!! One of the things the author talked about was having your biggest meal for breafast and decreasing the amount that you eat by dinner. "Eat like a king early and eat like a pauper by dinner"--according to him. He also talked about eating more plant-based foods and less meat/protein. I am starting to do that---just because. I bought some black eyed peas today and man---when I prepared them for my lunch---I tasted some. LOVE affair! Well time for work!

Well, it snowed tonight in Minnesota---what else is new? Took me about an hour to get home. Ate spaghetti squash, olive oil, an organic (ha!) ice cream sandwich--some bread and peanut butter? Hey, works for me. I am done eating for the day. Now off to clean my house in my favorite nightie and have some hot tea with agave nectar.                   

 December 5, 2010. I weighed today and I did lose weight. I am firmly convinced now that Nothing without exercise. I did exercise today--and I am striving to exercise 7 times this week. I did 25 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes on the elliptical. I don't want to overdo this. Today, I did drink 8 glasses of water today...and I am going to have some tea and agave nectar tonite. The strangest think happened. I was craving a soda and I had enough calories to drink one. Went to the machine and the machine took my money and didn't give me the soda! Oh well, I will just drink hot tea. I had the most delightful sweet potato today for lunch. Yum! It's amazing how wonderful natural, healthy food tastes!

I found a new insulated cup that takes tea leaves.  I must buy it next week. That will be my wellness present for myself.

This is the second week that I have exercised 6 times! I also increased my weights, am doing weights 3 times a week and have now completed five weeks of circuit training--combining weights with cardio. 

Today is November 14th, 2010.

Well, it's been a long time since I have written in my blog. I believe that now I have something to write about. I live in Minnesota, and yesterday (Saturday) was the biggest snowfall in 20 years.

I was in the house most of the day and I must admit--I did overeat. But today is a new day---of which I am grateful. I decided to not go out today either--except for running a few errands.So much has changed in the past few months on my way to transformation. It seems as if I am always talking about transformation---but I guess since it's my blog I can do that! I am so happy to report that I am transitioning to my "new normal" phase. And boy, am I glad about it!

What is my new normal?

Good question. First I have to explain what my old normal was before I can discuss my new normal. My old normal was stressed out all the time because I had to do everything. I was in a marriage where my husband travelled all the time--So, for over 20 years I had to pay the bills, do all the upkeep, including making sure the yard was maintained in the summer and ensure that the snow was shoveled in the winter. I had a full-time job, and spent about twenty hours a week as a singer and worship leader at my church. In addition, I was the informal leader---who tried to work behind the scenes to facilitate and help with the ministry. I coached people, listened to their concerns, (including the Pastor) because I believed in the church and believed in the people.

In addition, I also worked full-time. So, my old normal was internalizing everything, and putting everyone else's needs before my own. I was the strong one---not the strong woman--but the strong one. I was asexual--which means that I didn't feel feminine or pretty. I just did the work. And I ate, and ate, and ate. And I never told anybody how I felt. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.

But one day, I can still remember the month--May of 2008---something snapped. My armour started cracking and I felt as if I couldn't put anything else inside. It was very difficult to make decisions. I felt uncertain and insecure about everything. I had an emotional, physical and spiritual breakdown. So, I left everything. My church, my marriage, my home. I even discontinued some of my friendships. I secured the help of a therapist--choosing an African-American woman who I felt would relate to me and would understand my perspective. I developed new friendships with women that I could share my heart with unconditionally.

I transitioned to the world of dating---with varying results. Because I was so starved for attention, I would date any man who told me I was beautiful. While not perfect, in my dating decisions, I did learn something. Honestly, each man that I have dated has truly taught me something about myself. What I have realized is this: so many people have invested in me--my family, my friends and me-- I want to make sure that I have the right relationship that is worthy of me---I am a prize, a jewel--wrapped in a fabulous package! I want to be with someone that shares my core values and beliefs.

So, I've been searching and searching for my new normal. MFP has given me a platform and framework to heal, make new friendships and walk out my journey and transformation.

So, my new normal is this: I have found my voice. I'm more healthier mentally than I have ever been in my life. I have invested in a trainer--and am now (with the exception of this week) lifting weights three times a week. I am very selective about who I date--and am learning that it's more than about being with someone because of how he looks or even how tall he is (I am almost 5'10). It's about the heart and the person's character.

I am working on a business plan for my music again, and am now seeking opportunities to sing. In addition, I have decided to change my external styling image--which resulted in my first purchase of clothing this week. I am working to prepare for my financial future.

I also am doing more studying and research regarding food sustainability. I want to educate others about the importance of eating for health and wellness versus just losing weight. Eating more natural organic food versus processed food. 

I am a softer, feminine woman who is more in tune with her body.  I am learning about wine, good food, going to events and places that I would never have thought about going to.

So, my new normal is really about being all that I can be. Loving me---without limits. Setting boundaries---doing things that give me joy. I look forward to the day when I can work to help other women learn to do the same thing.

I am not looking back, I'm moving ahead, I am here to declare that my past is over, things are made new and I have MOVED FORWARD!! 

May your week be one of joy, love, wellness and all things fabulous!