Setting the record straight - Frustrations
I received the following mail overnight - and thought it was important to share with you all - it is not always moonshine and roses in Elle's paradise :-)
“You've had such great success these past couple of months. My question is about the days you don't log in the food diary. Is that part of the plan? I'm interested in what you are doing because of your success and dedication. I also see that you have your net calorie goal at 1750 per day. If you have any tips to share, I'm all ears!!”
Over the weekend, I read an article on different personalities – and how we share information on social networks –
The passive-aggressive, The poor me, The narcissist, The baby talker
What I realised is that I am very clearly in the narcissist category – I share my good news – but hardly ever (well actually never) share my bad news, or daily frustrations!!
What I realised is that this actually leads to sharing “misinformation” to people that look up to me – by not actually disclosing those very frustrating times that I go through….
I am quick to share the scale going down – and the following information on my profile…. As some of you know I increased my calories – and have blogged about it – for a time the results was exactly what I had hoped for:
Progress since I have increased calories (additional 500 per day)
101 kg (222.6) 10 April 2012
99.3 kg ( 218.9) 13 April 2012
98.1 kg (216.2) 17 April 2012
97.3 kg (214.5) 25 April 2012
96.7 kg (213.2) 1 May 2012
95.8 kg (210.7) 8 May 2012
What I have not shared – and should really have is what has happened over the past two weeks since the 8th of May….
By the 15th May the scale had shot right up back to 98.9kg…….and by Friday had gone down to 96.9kg……and then on Monday back up to 98.2kg – and today (Tuesday) back to 96.9kg…..
Nothing much had changed in how I was eating – even though I don’t log on weekends I don’t go overboard – I am still very aware of what I am eating – I just don’t log!! OK - there was a couple of beers after scuba diving on Saturday - but even that does not explain what I see on the scale.
I have been lifting heavy (very heavy), but have also upped my cardio – but still it should not increase my weight by 3kg’s (nearly 7lbs)!
Am I frustrated – o hell yes – Yesterday I could have eaten an entire Pizza, and a Cheesecake on my own – it does my head in!!
I really had to keep reminding myself of one of my go-to quotes “It is not what you do when you are in the zone – it is what you do when you are not in the zone!!
I actually wrote it on a sticky and put it on my computer screen to try and keep my head in the right place… I seriously questioned if I should go to the gym after work – and tried to convince myself that maybe my body needed a rest (no it did not - I scuba dived on Saturday and had a rest day on Sunday!!)
I work so hard in the gym – and keep on being focussed on eating clean and healthy and I am just not seeing the results. Like I said on someone’s post this week – the first 55kg (110lbs) was EASY – this last 25lbs is going to be the death of me!!
So I said to my trainer last night that I seriously need to evaluate what I am doing (and especially what I am eating) – I need to do something DIFFERENT!!
Right now I am reminding myself of the definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
So my trainer and I are going to have a little chat tonight – I suspect he will suggest that I try one of the eating plans that professional weightlifters use to prepare for competitions…..so there might be lots of chicken, broccoli and Brussels sprouts in my diet for a while!!
So the short answer to my friend : Sorry – I don’t actually have the answers – yes I am dedicated – and I will keep on being – but I am also struggling to find the right answers……the game is changing constantly for me and my body at the moment – and I need to keep looking for something – anything - to keep the going……1kg at a time!!
There is one thing above all and that is not negotiable – whatever I do needs to be healthy – and not harm my body or my mind – so wish me luck in finding what that will be for getting rid of the next 5kg’s – and then we will most probably need to strategize again, and again until I slay the dragon for good!!
I just need to end this on a more positive note - and will write a separate blog - I have actually seen some fantastic changes that is not scale related - so all in all I am still a happy bunny - but oh all I am asking is to get out of the Obese Category on the BMI scale ;-) If don't care if I ever get out of Overweight - but I do want to leave Obese behind!!