nothing is impossible, really.

Tomorrow starts the new job (yea!) and with it will begin my new commitment (re-commitment) to my healthy eating and exercise habits.

No more excuses. No setting myself up for failure. No more crazy/overambitious hybrids. Just healthy habits from here on out.

So I resolve to:

• Run 3x a week
• Lift 3x a week
• Yoga 1x a week
• Pack my lunch 4x a week
• NOT derail myself on the weekends
• Accept myself (not the way I'll look when I lose another 13 lbs, but the way I am/look/feel NOW regardless of what weight is attached to that state)

After reading Andie Mitchell's "Can You Stay For Dinner" blog, I have been working on mentally coming to terms with the way I look. My brain still sees me as 184 lbs not 154 lbs.

I am happy the way I am.

Really.

Okay, fine, I am still working on actually convincing me of this. I have worked very hard to get to where I'm at. I'm by no means done putting in hard work, especially considering what my "ultimate" goals are, but for now I'm happy. I release myself from the constant and looming stress of the "I'm losing weight" burden. From this moment on, I command myself to enjoy life and if the weight does happen to drop, so be it. It is not your mission. It is not your cause. You are here to enjoy life and being so obsessed with losing weight is just a waste of a life, honestly. It is time to live! 

I can run with out effort and wear size 4-6 clothes. I'm the same size as my "skinny sister" and I have lots of energy. All of my goals I set when I joined MFP in April 2010 have been reached and exceeded. Setting deadlines to lose "X" lbs by a certain date doesn't seem to be working anymore since I'm so close to my goal. So WHEN (notice I didn't say "if) I reach my goal of 138-140 lbs, it will be great. But for now, I'm happy at 154. I know my hard work has gotten me this far and I'll continue pushing to get to the "finish line." However, I know that what worked to get me to this point will probably not continue working. So I am toning back the running from 5x a week to just 3x a week (speed, short, and long runs) and am going to stick to lifing 3x a week. This notion of less cardio and more lifting seems to be working for others so I'm going to give it another shot. As far as calories go, I really enjoy the zig-zagging that I've been doing so I'll keep this up.

So here is to new beginnings and accepting me the way I am. *raises a big jug of ice water* 

Cheers!

One of my huge motivations was to be as fit as my little sister who apparently got the good genes to be naturally skinny. Well, this is a picture of me in one of HER dresses on her high school graduation day two weeks ago! Congrats to my sister, KCHS Class of 2011 soon to be Texas Aggie Class of 2015 WHOOP! (And an engineer too!) 

Size, "Skinny Sister" Baby!!!

Too bad she is going off to college right when we can finally share clothes :-(

I am a very goal oriented person and I don't have any more weddings to attend this summer, no more graduations, and I have no runs booked in the near future (sad face) SO I am losing focus of what is important.

My new goal is to be 150 lbs by July 4th.

I don't even want to admit what the scale read this weekend. I really dont. But I need to in order to get myself on track... *forces the typing of my Sunday weigh in* 162.0 lbs !!!!!!!!!! I was 155.0 one week ago....HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?!?!?!? I'll tell you how...eating like crap and not exercising!!! 

To reach my goal I will:

• log everything I eat BEFORE I eat it
• will go back to measuring portions since my eye-balling is being directed by my stomach and not my brain
• eat at home 90% and eat out 10% of the time
• Compleate each one of my work outs in my Hybrid (week three, take two begins today) 
• Convince Mike to let me sign up for a race soon!

I'm not making excuses I'm just being flat out honest, I have a lot going on this week. I can't go into detail on it but it is going to damn near be impossible to make up all the work outs I've missed this week. So, I will be starting week 3 of my hybrid over again on Monday, June 6th. I will take it one day at a time and I will get into my routine. I'm very stressed about everything going on but I must realize that most of it is out of my control therefore I will just do my best in everything I do and let the rest happen. "Life is not how it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." ~Unknown

Exercise makes me feel great and gives me energy to push through my long days. I will not eat my emotions nor will I use the "I'm Tired" excuse. I can balance school and work AND training just as I have since August 2010. I'm committed to myself and will not cheat myself of the best I can do.

Tonight I will do a short run, yoga, and take a bubble bath since I am in serious need of some personal rejuvination time.

Remember, you only fail when you stop trying.